Noise Lights: A Text Adventure- Sweet and Sour Victory

> Try pulling it.

You pull it. There is a quiet but still audible click. In an instant everything around you is illuminated. You are staring up at a single lightbulb dangling from a cord. That thing you pulled actually was a bottle cap tied to a string, just like you guessed. It is worth noting that the string is specifically of a hemp-twine make and the bottle cap is from the Soda Marsouin Company. Well, it’s good you found a light source. Hopefully you can find more. Exploring this massive labyrinth hidden in a tiny shack will be very difficult in the dark.
When you look down from the light above you see four walls. Four shabby, wooden walls made of rotten boards filled with holes. There are two cracked windows on opposite sides to your left and right. You can see your brother’s truck outside of the one to your left. The door you entered is shut behind you. There appear to be two trapdoors, one is on the ceiling and the other is on the floor. Other than the dirt and sawdust beneath your feet, there isn’t much else in here. This appears to be a perfectly normal shack. It also noticeably appears to NOT be the massive complex of mazes and oubliettes you were led to believe it would be. Those fucking lights lied to you! Actually, this shack looks smaller on the inside. Outside, it was big enough you had to make an ordeal of driving the truck around it. Inside, the walls are only about ten paces apart from each other. You can tell you’re not just in a smaller room surrounded by more rooms because the windows allow you to see directly outside. Not to mention you can see through the walls’ many holes, as well. That thing you ran into earlier was actually just the wall currently in front of you. This would be incredibly disappointing if you just weren’t so pissed off about it.


Player Statistics:

SpoilerShow

Death Count: 2

Inventory:
1 can of dehydrated cans, add water for more cans
1 book titled Staying Delicious: Keep Your Cool as a Fool
1 electronic codex, wisdom has been dispensed
1 legalese document
1 extend-o-grab
1 mallet
1 pistol
1 fistful of pennies
1 bunch of coupons
1 keys

Abilities:
A Kall To Keys [X]
Empty [ ]
Empty [ ]

I'd be pretty steamed if I were you. I'm not though, so it's funny instead.

Codex:

SpoilerShow

The Soda Marsouin Company is a long standing distributor of soft drinks that was originally founded in 1928. Its original and still current headquarters are located in the UK city formerly known as Kingsbridge and currently known as New Roi tué since a few years before the company’s founding. The Soda Marsouin Company offers a wide variety of soda flavors such as classic cola, fruit punch, tiger’s blood, root beer, ginger ale, tea grass, and the massively popular tar flavor. Their soda’s biggest selling point is that it is currently the only soft drink to use 100% natural porpoise oil. Its biggest competitor Shasta Cola only uses a processed porpoise oil substitute.
In the 1960’s after the global porpoise population had been harvested to near extinction, the company had find alternative means of obtaining the much needed oil or face going out of business. After an appeal and brief blackmailing campaign to the greater science community, the Soda Marsouin Company was able to use genetic engineering to produce its supply of oil. In an effort to avoid breaking too many animal cruelty stipulations, it has limited it production line to a single super porpoise. This genetically engineered mega beast was named Soda the Porpoise after the company’s mascot and is indeed the sole source of oil used in all of the company’s sold beverages and continues to be to this day. He is many times larger than an average porpoise to accommodate his hyper stimulated oil production and weighs in just over 58 metric tons. His face has also been surgically altered to have the cartoon mascot’s trademark mischievous grin. At the end of the factory tour, for 500 kroner, patrons may get a picture taken with Soda the Porpoise during the oil siphoning process. Seeing Soda is the main draw of the tour as, like in the commercials, Soda's bloated and misshapen bulk brings joy to all who see it.