S.A.M.L.A.R.B Spectral Aquisitons of Material Lands And Resources Bureau

>Parade yourself in front of the tv with the VHS on your head in a mocking way. "I've got your tape on my head. What'cha gonna do 'bout it?"

You, still overflowing with a mixture of exuberant pride and exestential despair, keep the VHS tape balanced on your head. A surge of undeserved confidence raises within you. You feel your soul screaming at you “COME ON SAM! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS SHIT FROM THE TV. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.” Yeah! You don't have to take this TV voice's guff. You've got it's VHS tape! You decide to show it who is boss by galavanting prettily in front of it, as if to say “Hoi, look at me, I've got your stuff and you can't get it back!”

You step out and begin your dance of dominance. Granted your movements look a lot more like the rubbery flails of an octopus, but you don't let this hinder you. Your dancing spirit shall not be restrained any longer!

“What ar-a-a-are you doing Mr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r Larbawit-witz?” The voice from the TV doesn't sound angered, or intimidated, just confused. You explain that you're displaying your dominance over the TV by parading around with it's VHS tape.

“That's not m-mine M-m-mr Larbawitz. It clearly states on the label that it belongs to the accountancy department. This is a waiting r-r-oom, and I'm not an accountan-an-an-an-an-t.”

You take the VHS tape off of your head. The TV man makes a good point, at no time did you get the sense that you were inside of an Accountancy Department of any description. A dentist's office maybe, but not an accountancy department. You gingerly remove the VHS tape from your head and replace it in your Inventory...wherever that is.

>Take a deep breath. And ask the TV if returning the Accountancy VHS tape to the Accountancy department would be wise.

You take a deep inhalation, so deep you feel that your lungs might burst. You then exhale, you ask the TV man if you should give the tape back to the accountancy department. The TV man stares at you blankly with his creepy...creepy blue-white eyes. It strikes you this is the first time you've actually SEEN who it was speaking to you .Only seen from the shoulders up, the man's features are a strikingly over the top, almost parody, of what you think people in the eighties thought was manly. A huge chin, massive forehead, shoulders the width of the front of a moderately small truck. His hair is slicked back over his head, yellow rather than blonde, and so flat and perfect that it almost looks plastic...as do his teeth come to mention it. It looks more like a white retainer with tooth shapes drawn onto it than actual teeth. You also note that whenever he glitches in his speech, the entire video glitches, hitching and repeating several times and always coming back to him in a slightly different position and with an annoyed expression. To your question he simply states. “Yes, that m-may be a g-g-goo-go-goo-GOO-GOO-GO-GOOOO-GODO-GOOD-good idea but first, I'll need to take you through your orientation, I'm imagining there are a l-l-l-ot of th-things you are confused about Mr La-larbawitz.”

>Accept quest Neko Remon; return the lemon mango to the accountant who must have lost track of it

You internally decide that you will give the Accountant back his Lemony Mango VHS tape if it's the last thing you do! It fills you with determination.

You drift off in the middle of the TV Man's speech and find yourself irritated by something.

>Try to take out the glass sticking out of your head before going anywhere. That's not a good look.

Yeah, that glass, it's really starting to grate on you, and not just in the literal and internal sense, but in the figurative sense. Whenever you turn your head too quickly you can feel it skratching at the inside of your skull. It hasn't happened yet but you just know it'll lead to awkward situations. You'll hit people with it when turning around, walk into doors and bang your glass against things, gross out children, get complaints from concerned and nagging mothers. What's more, it's hideous. You've made up your mind, it's got to go! You wrap your hands around it and start pulling...and try to ignore the massive gouges you're slicing into your hands in the attempt. You pull and you pull, but it simply won't give, not even the slightest wiggle of looseness. You reflect. Why did you want it gone in the first place? It's beautiful! A fashion accessory! It really reflects who you truly are! It's perfect, it belongs embedded in your face! What fool notion drove you to try to pull it out. You wipe your bleeding hands onto the beige walls.

The TV Chimes in. “Well...that was some-some-something Mr Lar-larbawitz. No-now now I could explain exactly what's going on-on-o-on but company rules state that I have to get you to ask me some questions fir-first. They say-say-s-say if you can come to the conclusions about your state yoursel-self then it's easier for you to accep-accept it and mo-move on. So, come along Mr Larbaw-witz. What do you think has happen-happened to you, and what do you think this place i-is?”

You are standing in front of a TV which is asking you questions. There is a door at the far side of the room. What do you do?

Inventory:

SpoilerShow

Accountancy VHS tape with "Mango" style Cat picture.
Shard of glass embedded in head.
Blood (Hands)