Post making contest 1.0

New!

Still breakin' 'em all.

"Welcome to the Space Consortium. This is Test #3."
Buddy sat down next to the 1543 weird dogs and waited for the test to go through. He didn't know what they were testing, but if it got him into the Space Consortium, he could put up with a lot.
After all, if he were a card-carrying member of the Space Consortium, people would take him seriously.
"Try a haiku," Weird Dog #1234 whispered to him. "I hear they like haiku here at the Space Consortium."
So Buddy decided to think up a haiku.
"This is a haiku
Buckle Up Mother Fucker
Refrigerator"
he announced.
The weird dogs applauded.
"Welcome to the Space Consortium. This is Test #4," said the intercom.
So he'd passed another test. Probably. He wasn't actually getting results, just new tests.
Unfortunately, this time no weird dogs were whispering to him. He was starting to wonder what they were even doing here at the Space Consortium. Were they supposed to be giving him hints? Were they taking the tests too?
What if one of the weird dogs had passed the test while Buddy was just reciting a haiku?
"Welcome to the Space Consortium," Buddy said, trying to distract himself. Maybe that would pass the test, somehow. It had seemed to work on Test #1, at least.
"Welcome to the Space Consortium. This is Test #5."
So maybe he was making progress. Or maybe they were just going to give him more tests for the rest of his life.
Maybe he would be stuck in this testing room with 1543 weird dogs for the rest of his life. He would never be a full member of the Space Consortium.
Then who would take him seriously?
"g0m?" he asked no one.
There was a sound of a ding.
"All tests complete. Welcome to the Space Consortium."
The doors opened, and Buddy and the 1543 weird dogs rushed through.
At last, they had made it to the Space Consortium.

This fantastic post unfortunately breaks every rule.