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Dragon Fogel · 05-23-2012, 04:32 AM

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Fengar Wrote:>Make more confetti, claiming it's your birthday. They wouldn't kill you on your birthday, right?

Thinking quickly, you cast a spell!

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"It's my birthday today! Surely you can spare a man on his birthday, yes?"

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"Colonel Aureliano Buendia. Do you really think I would forget when your birthday was?"

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"I remember all too well the day your utter disappointment of a life began."

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"Your mother never even talks to me so I only even found out about you by stalking her Facebook and then I had to drive all the way to the hospital to give her a stern talking to but the traffic is always horrible here because of all this snow but I got there as fast as I could and it turns out she didn't even have the courtesy to wait for me before she popped you out so she was already starting to name you when I burst into her house which was hard to find because she had secretly moved away without me knowing but I figured out her location by monitoring watermelon shipments because those are her favorite fruits although I'm fairly certain watermelons are considered berries so I told her 'Not another Aureliano, we already have so goddamn many you better not name him Aureliano' but she did I'm pretty sure out of spite and so then we started this horrible argument and she forced me out of her house, her own mother and so I had to go back home and spend the rest of the day plotting the murder of your parents but I never succeeded in doing that I only managed to get your father and even then he only got half-dead so it never really counted (etc etc)"

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"And that's why I'm going to be delighted by your demise!"

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That really could have gone better.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Vanilla-Shaken Wrote:Promptly bury head in sand, you can't see them, they can't see you.

Sand? There's no sand here, this is a snowfield.

[Image: Fogel1017.png]

But suddenly, this sand idea is sounding a lot better.

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Here's some sand!

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Now you're safe for sure!

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There's no way your grandmother or her army will find you now!

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But the sandworms are another matter.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Godbot Wrote:> Take Lincoln's sword.

All right, it's time to get serious.

bluemoose19 Wrote:> Act really intimidating. Defeating Lincoln and a giant squid has to count for something.

"I just won a duel with Abraham Lincoln and a giant squid with guns on its tentacles. Do you think I'm afraid of you?"

[Image: Fogel1027.png]

It looks like you should be.

Solaris Wrote:offhandedly mention that the old lady doesnt look so tough and that they could probably take her and the throne too, run in the ensuing mutiny

Wait... Maybe you can turn your enemies against each other!

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"You know, when it comes down to it, my grandmother is just an old lady. And I bet you'd like to run Corruptia yourself..."

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"She's an old lady. You're a hideous abomination. You can totally take her, and then you get to write your own signs!"

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"Oh Glorious Leader, I have something I'd like to talk to you about..."
"Quack!"

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Perfect! They'll take care of each other, and then...

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"Oh, you silly boys! This is exactly why I had those pain chips installed in your brains while you were asleep."

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"Now stop playing around and get that good-for-nothing grandson of mine!"

Kocel232 Wrote:Run for thine life.

Okay, you're starting to think that sticking around these three is a bad idea. But where can you run to?