You Are About 10 Seconds Away From Execution By Firing Squad

DEATHS 76-78

Show Content

Spoiler

Politely ask him if he'll lend you his zebra and weapon for five minutes.

You decide to cut to the chase and look for the nearest weapon and mount: namely, Abraham Lincoln's.



"You're either a brave man or a fool to ask such a thing, Buendia."



"But I'm game. Take my sword and steed. We'll see if you can handle them."





"Show me what you can do, Buendia."















"A valiant effort, Mr. Buendia. But sadly, it wasn't enough."



"If it's any comfort, you at least made my day a little more interesting."

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

> Build an animal out of the snow. While Lincoln boggles at your idiocy, attempt to attack him in some feeble manner.

Suddenly, inspiration strikes.



You'll build your mount out of the snow itself!



You've created a masterpiece. Surely this creature will aid you in defeating Abraham Lincoln!



Wait, what? It actually moves?



You are destroyed by your own creation. Such is your tragic fate as an artist.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

> Summon the glory that is Karma Goose

Of course! The Karma Goose will be a fine steed. Its laser eyes should give you the edge.



But how will you summon it?



Well, this seems worth a shot.



Success!



Wait, what?



Apparently, your karma was trending closer to the edge than you'd realized.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Show Content

Spoiler

Suddenly, you spot a creature separated from your grandmother's monstrous horde.



It will make the perfect mount for this battle!



You just need to tame the creature.



...But how exactly are you going to do that?

And come to think of it, don't you need to get a weapon, too?