You Are About 10 Seconds Away From Execution By Firing Squad

DEATHS 63-65

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Spoiler

>Play dead.

You decide to just act dead and hope they leave you alone.



It seems, however, that the Glorious Leader would prefer to be sure.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Or, find current Grandma and try to pit her against future Grandma.

It occurs to you that there's somebody here who's just crazy enough to stand up to the Glorious Leader.



Running faster than you realized was possible - seriously, you'd probably catch fire if it wasn't so cold out here - you run to the cottage. You should arrive there well before the soldier drops off your younger self.



You hope this works.



"Grandmother! It's me, Aureliano! There's an evil army from the future after me, and their leader is impersonating you!"



"Hmmph! That's just like you, Aureliano. You only ever visit me when you're in trouble. You need to learn to solve your own problems! And also to stop by more often. Your brother would blah blah blah..."
You are starting to have second thoughts about this plan.



"This is the impostor?"
"Yes! We need to stop her!"



"Hey you! What are you doing, posing as me?!"

"Posing?! I am you! That grandson of ours is such a liar, I can't believe he'd try to trick me like that, I mean really."

"Oh, I know what you mean. Such a brat! Remember the time he lied about that thing?"

"As thought it were yesterday! I told him then, I told him, 'Keep doing that and you'll never amount to anything!' And here he is now, and he hasn't amounted to anything! Just like I said!"

"He never listens to authority!"

"Don't I know it!"

"The salt of the earth!"

"The scum of the earth!"



Well, this didn't work as well as you'd hoped.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Pledge your allegiance to the glorious leader!

You have a brilliant plan for getting out of this desperate situation.



"I'm sorry, Grandmother! I pledge allegiance to you! Please don't kill me again!"



"Let's see. I've put all this effort into tracking you through time to kill you, I always thought you were a terrible grandson, and I recently discovered that you traumatized me when I was a child thanks to your time travel shenanigans."



"So of course I accept your surrender! Welcome to the winning team!"



"Wonderful! I can't wait to help you take over the world!"
You are finding it very hard to believe that this is actually working, even if your grandmother is senile half the time.



Um... Where did that thing come from?



You are zapped by eye-lasers from a giant dimension-travelling goose. This is probably some form of instant karma, you sellout.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Hit your grandmother with a snowball.

Thinking fast, you improvise a weapon.



FIRE!



That didn't work so well.

"You silly boy. Do you seriously think you can stop me with a snowball?"



Hmm. This calls for another approach.

Jump onto her flying robot, that massive army wouldn't possibly attack their Glorious Leader would they?

You decide to make a more direct assault.



You take a great leap and jump on!



And are promptly snatched up without doing any real damage.



"I wish I could say I expected you to put up more of a fight, but I didn't really. Maybe I didn't even need the army!"



Why do you keep coming up with these stupid plans? Don't you have any better ideas?

> DEADLY CHEAT MENU GO

Actually, you just might.



The Deadly Cheat Menu appears. Now, you've got to time this right...



Unable to move much, you start struggling in hopes that you won't be under the menu for long.



It worked! You are free once again!



Now, what to do next...



Uh-oh. Looks like you landed a little too close to one of the lab-created abominations your grandmother brought with her.



Specifically, a giant ghostly slug that generates electricity and spits acid and has a whole bunch of arms and is probably also a stage magician. Where exactly do your grandmother's scientists get these ideas?

In any case, it is heading straight for you. What will you do now?