You Are About 10 Seconds Away From Execution By Firing Squad

DEATHS 10-15

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Spoiler

>Be the firing squad

You are now the firing squad.





You tell the guards to free your hands and give back your guns, then you shoot the escaping prisoner.



That takes care of him.



You are now Colonel Aureliano Buendia again, and you are dead.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

> Charlie! Don't wind that watch Charlie! You can never come baaaaack.

What? Why did that pop into your head? Your name isn't Charlie.



Winding the watch strikes you as a perfectly harmless thing to do, though, even if it won't help you immediately.



Hey! What's happening?





You shift through time and space, seeing many ways you could have died had you done something differently.



Finally, you stop. You seem to have escaped the firing squad, but you have no idea where you are.



Uh-oh... What's that?





You have been stepped on a Tyrannosaurus Rex, possibly in the course of one of his daily conversations with a Dromiceiomimus and Utahraptor. You are now dead. Again.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

>Run in a circle until you are behind them,than chase them for fleeing the prison

You decide to turn the situation around.



Literally. You run behind your pursuers.



"Where do you think you're going? Get back to the prison, now!"



"There he is! We found the escapee! Get ready to fire!"
Oh, great. They sent another firing squad to look for you.





Well, this doesn't look good. What are you going to do now?

> Wind the watch back just a little.

You have a strange feeling that you don't want to wind the watch back very far, but winding it back a little won't hurt, will it?





What's this? You seem to be in your own past! This must be back when you took that horrible vacation and got lost!



Fortunately, while you don't remember exactly how you got out of there, you do remember your father showing you a map afterwards in case it happened again. You lead your younger self out of the blizzard.



You come across a small cottage. You should be able to warm up inside, and maybe even call your father.



A kindly old woman opens the door, and tells you to come in immediately.



She sets you by a roaring fire, and wraps you in warm blankets.



And, um. More blankets. Just in case.



And even more blankets... You're starting to feel a little too warm now.



Fortunately, the kindly old woman seems to have run out of blankets. She offers you some steaming hot cocoa this time instead.



You aren't sure if this is a good idea, but you just don't find yourselves able to say 'no' to that kindly old smile. You drink the cocoa.



Unfortunately, it seems you've warmed up too fast, and your bodies were unable to handle the rapid change in temperature. You both die.

This also creates a paradox, since your younger self died as a result of your actions when you traveled back in time, thereby preventing you from growing up to travel back in time, but that's not really your most immediate concern.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

>Summon Batman, because, you know that's what that bat shaped thing in your inventory is.

Oh, yeah! Batman would definitely be able to get you out of this.



Except, um. You kind of left the bat on the ground back there, when you dropped a bunch of items as a stalling tactic.



Maybe you can distract these guys and go back there for it. But what would be a good distraction?

>Start singing the National Anthem! They'll have to sing along and you can slip away as they are!

You begin singing the national anthem of the People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia.



The firing squads, being the patriotic sort, cannot help but join in.



"Praise to our land, The People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia!
Our fields, plentiful and our women fertile!
We drink much here in The People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia!
The best land in the world, don't listen to all those other anthems!
We crush our enemies underneath our feet!"



"Praise to Our Glorious Leader, Insert Glorious Leader's Name Here!
He or she is the greatest man/woman of all,
We obey his or her every whim,
And if he or she outlaws the use of rhyme,
Then it shall be deleted from our Glorious National Anthem!"



"Praise Insert Glorious Leader's Name Here!
Praise The People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia!
Rebel scum will never bring down our glorious government,
Because we will execute them with our firing squads first!
Praise to our land, The People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia!"



Phew, that seems to have done the trick. You're probably safe now...



Oh, whoops. You forgot that there's a verse in the National Anthem that calls for shooting enemies of the state. At least you have a headstart, though...

What will you do next?

>Become a friend of the State

What? Give up everything you've fought for just to avoid being shot?



That sounds like a pretty good deal right about now.





You run back and tell the firing squad that you've changed your mind, and you are totally loyal to the People's Democratic Republic of Corruptia and its Glorious Leader.



They contemplate your sudden declaration.



They accept, and welcome you with open arms!



But there's just one problem. The National Anthem still requires shooting an enemy of the state.



The law says if there is no enemy of the state present, then one of the singers is to be randomly designated an enemy of the state for the sake of the anthem.



And guess what? The randomly designated enemy of the state is you!

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

>Hire a bodyguard

That's starting to look like a good idea.



You ask your new bodyguard to keep you safe from the oncoming bullets.



It seems he takes his job very seriously! You feel a little bad for him...



Uh-oh. Looks like he can't take any more hits for you...



He falls over onto you. His massive weight crushes you to death.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

>Outrun the bullets.

Outrun a speeding bullet? Who do you think you are, Superman?



But, uh, it seems you can run pretty fast.



Maybe a little TOO fast.



OHGODOHGODYOUCAN'TSTOP



Ow. Or maybe you can.



But you're probably not getting back up any time soon...

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SpoilerBAD END
Reloading from last save...



Right. How about we try that again, perhaps with some non-fatal suggestions this time around?