You Are About 10 Seconds Away From Execution By Firing Squad

DEATHS 6-9

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Spoiler

Flee anywhere but in the direction of your executors!

Good idea. You start fleeing in a random direction.


Which, apparently, is straight up.


This is just getting ridiculous now.


Despite the lack of air, the intense pressure, and the freezing cold of space, you seem to be fine, though.


Znork flacter balak tog. Goza illik tig nai?


Zaka! Tuzo vin kador!


Zogos narda votzen ku.


Zok latza toros mik.

Um. I'm not sure exactly what happened to the translation there, but it looks like you not only died on impact, you managed to screw up the Martian version of this adventure too. Nice going.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

> Take a helmet and a rifle. Act casual.

Sunglasses too. Or failing that, just rub some ashes around your eyes.

You decide that a disguise is in order. You take a helmet and rifle from one of the numerous gunmen killed in the explosion.


You try to find some sunglasses to disguise your face better, but it seems those were all blown up or something. So you rub some ashes around your eyes instead.


Uh-oh. Here they come. Better hope your disguise works.


You greet the general, or whoever. You're still not sure of his rank, so you just call him Sir as much as you can. You tell him the prisoner died in the explosion.


The General seems pleased. It looks like your bluff worked!


Oh no! He took your pocket watch! Does he realize its importance?


"Wow! A MacGuffin brand pocket watch! I've always wanted one of these!"


"All right, men. You heard him, the prisoner's dead. Our work here is done."


"Good work. Just, um... keep doing what you're doing."


Well. You've technically escaped from the firing squad, but you really need that watch back. What will you do?

>Chase him and tell him the watch was actually a prototype dynamite watch from the factory

Run up to him, you've got to tell him that it's a cheap knockoff; most likely going to catch on fire, as fakes are wont to do.

Perhaps you can convince the General that the watch will be a danger to him.



You tell him that you're pretty sure the watch is explosive and/or flammable.



The watch suddenly bursts into flames.



Then it explodes spectacularly.



You are dead, again. At least this time you took the General down with you.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

Follow behind the officer very closely, and if he notices, simply say you are quite concerned for his safety in this strange, explosive times we live in.

You decide to just follow him.



He turns around suddenly, and asks what you're doing.



"Uh... er... I'm just concerned for your safety, sir. These are strange, and occasionally explosive, times we live in."



He tells you to go away and not bother him.

>"Excuse me sir, but before you go, can you tell me the time?"

"Yes, right away, sir. But before that, can you tell me the time?"



"Let's see... it's about..."

>YOINK!

"Oh, I'll just check it for myself!"



Well, you've got the watch back, but the firing squad is after you again. Now what?

> "Jump" into nearby canyon; really catch the edge and slip into a hole in the canyon wall.

You run towards the canyon's edge.



Desperate to escape, you jump off!


"There's no way he could have survived that. What a shame, that was a really nice watch."


"Well, back to work, men. There's nothing more for us to do here.


That was close. They seem to have lost interest. Now you just need to pull yourself up...


Whoops! Your pathetic stick-arm couldn't support your body's weight this long.


You crash at the base of the cliff and die.

BAD END
Reloading from last save...

While you run, shout out the time. Perhaps this will quell the General's anger.

Maybe the General just wants to know what time it is?


You tell him that it is 3:17 PM.


That didn't work. Perhaps another approach is in order.

>Shoot back at them while running!

Oh, right. You have a gun, too.


You shoot as you run. You're not a very good shot, but at least it seems to be confusing them a bit.


You keep running.



GODDAMMIT YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO COME BACK HERE ARRGH


Actually, that wasn't so bad. The first two times gave you a pretty good idea of the layout. In fact, you feel better than ever!


The General and his men weren't so lucky.

> Examine your inventory/ possessions in case you're actually carrying some useful items.

Looks like you've got some time before they regain their bearings, so you decide to check your inventory.


Well, that was a waste of time. There's no way anything here could possibly help you escape! Where did you even get all this junk?


You've still got some time to come up with a plan. What will you do?

> Use the question mark.

You decide to use the question mark.



The question mark turns out to be... another firing squad!


They shoot you immediately.

BAD END

Reloading from saved game...

Steadily dump it out behind you to slow them down. Like caltrops.

Might as well. This junk is only weighing you down, at least this way it can be useful.


It seems to be working! You've got some time now, what should you do next?

>Place welcome mat over a hole conveniently in the path that they will chase you along. But only holes large enough to be hard for them to get out of.

Funny, you don't remember seeing this when you ran by here in the other direction.


You decide to make use of it anyways, before continuing to run.


Excellent! That should keep them busy for a while.


Or not. Maybe that hole wasn't as big as you thought.

Very simple plan. Run towards them and arrest them for breaking and entering an off-limits factory that was clearly marked. And of course I didn't enter it, how then could I be without a scratch?

You have an idea.


"You there! What were you doing in the Sharp Objects Factory? Didn't you see the sign?"
"But... we were chasing you..."


"Don't be ridiculous! Do I look like I just went through a Sharp Objects Factory? There isn't a scratch on me!"


You march the trespassing criminals over to the nearest jail.


"These men are guilty of trespassing! Lock them up at once, and execute them in the morning!"


You can't believe that worked.


"Wait a minute... We can't execute these guys! They're our own firing squad! Who would we get to shoot them?"


Huh. Guess it didn't work so well after all.

What next?