Posts: 150
Joined: Mar 2013
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: There
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
04-13-2016, 02:14 PM
Yo I think I'm trans but not really and this is fucking weird? Gonna spoiler this so no one has to read my chaotic thoughts:
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Spoiler I'm not...uncomfortable as a guy, really, though I am spending longer and longer periods of time thinking about it more. I'm not especially attracted to doing stereotypically girly things, my interests are all solidly neutral/stereotypically male. (Yes I know there's no actual connection between that and this stuff, but I know some trans people IRL and they've purposely sought out more feminine-associated things, consciously or unconsciously, than the guys I know). I don't have any desire to paint my nails or wear makeup, skirts, etc. I still think of myself as a guy, if prompted.
But, uh, not always? I'm 100% certain that I'd rather have been born female, for instance. I've looked at transformation fiction stuff since I was younger on and off, and while the more sexual things just creep me the fuck out, they do resonate with me and have since like, 7th grade. I don't know how to put it. I dream when I sleep (duh) and every so often I have one where I do transition and I'm happy in like 90% of them.
Since I'm not uncomfortable with myself to such a degree that I feel a need to change, I'll probably never actually transition (also because I'll never actually look like a cis woman), but, well, yeah. I'm not even certain I'd want to stay as a woman, in the magical world where we can switch sexes at a whim! I'd just...like the opportunity. It's really weird to go from someone who thought they were a straight male to a bi male to whatever I am right now.
Needed to vent and this was the only place I could think of to do so.
