RE: IRC highlights!
04-13-2016, 03:57 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2016, 04:40 AM by Whimbrel.)
[22:56] <Chwoka> last year i forgot to do my taxes and they never caught me
[22:56] <Chwoka> i'm a rebel on the run
[22:56] <Chwoka> never sleeping in the same town twice, a wallet full of fake ids, my whole life in a briefcase...
[22:57] <Chwoka> there's a gun out there with my name on it, and that gun is named the IRS
[22:58] <Chwoka> it's how they got al capone
[22:59] <Chwoka> yes sir, one of these days i'm gonna be going through my mail, minding my business, when i'll see that i have a letter from the feds
[23:00] <Chwoka> i'll open it and inside'll just be anthrax
[23:00] <Chwoka> my days are numbered, i have to live every day like it's my last because it just might be
[23:00] <Chwoka> i've loved, i've left, i'm responible for a landfill full of burner cell phones
[23:01] <Chwoka> i'm responsible for it, but i've since lost custody. i've been evading those child support payments as well
[23:02] <Chwoka> but what choice does a man like me have? an outcast from society, a human being who just doesn't follow the same rules as everyone else
[netsplit]
[00:24] <Chwoka> oh man you actually missed a whole chunk
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:04:13] <Chwoka> the type of guy to see a door labelled "emergency exit only" and still leave out it so long as it don't read "alarm will sound" or "police will be called"
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:04:19] <Chwoka> a man like that is dangerous. a man like that has to be eliminated.
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:05:55] <Chwoka> in another life, another time, maybe the us government and i could have seen eye-to-eye on these sorts of things... i'm sure kennedy woulda let it slide.
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:06:18] <Chwoka> i really coulda been a g-man if not for this spectre haunting my soul
<Chwoka> yes sir, we're not too different, me and them
<Chwoka> but now it's all too systematized. computers. bytes. datamining. wikileaks. the stock market
[Chwoka reenters]
[23:10] <Chwoka> they've got their arms shoulder-deep up our buttholes and they're puppeting us like puppetmasters. but not me, oh no sir, my butthole is clenched tight around my own arm and i am the maker of my own destiny, livin' on the edge. the edge of my shoulder. and why is it that they call them shoulders... when they don't should, huh? these are the questions they don't want you to ask
[23:10] <Chwoka> (don't worry friends, they didn't take me out... not yet, at least)
[23:12] <Chwoka> and so i come to job corps, a us federal program, until i can line up my next identity
[23:12] <Chwoka> why? why descend into the belly of the beast like that?
[23:12] <Chwoka> because i live for the thrill
[23:13] <Chwoka> there ain't nothin' left for me to live for, exactly
[23:13] <Chwoka> not since that fateful day, april 15th, 2015
[23:13] * Whimbrel turns chwoka in for that sweet, sweet bounty money
[23:14] <Timu12> 5 dollars
[23:14] * Whimbrel walks away with 5 whole dollars
[23:14] <@DragonFogel> Whim, I hope you realize that bounty money is taxable.
[23:14] <Whimbrel> HECK
[23:14] * Whimbrel walks away with less than 5 dollars
[23:15] <Timu12> hehe
[23:15] <Chwoka> they try to trick me. "oh, come on down to the irs, we just wanna give you your tax rebate." the liars. all they're gonna give me is their own poop in a manilla envelope and they're gonna make me eat it. i've seen it happen to greater men than i
[23:16] <Chwoka> Whimbrel: you rat. you dirty rat. you snitch. i'll get you for this. you don't know the kinda connections i got. and i'm not talkin' 'bout the internet, you nerd. you nerd rat fink motherfucker
[23:16] <Chwoka> how much was it, huh?
[23:16] <Chwoka> how many pieces of silver. judas?
[23:16] <Whimbrel> hm, what's the price of a silver piece on the market today?
[23:16] <Chwoka> what you gonna buy with your blood money?
[23:16] <Chwoka> a cold, refreshing coca-cola? or just more blood?
[23:16] <Whimbrel> probably more blood tbh
[23:17] <Whimbrel> It looks like I got...about a fourth of an ounce of silver, yeah.
[23:17] <Chwoka> coca-cola — the synthetic, syrupy, fattening, acidic lifeblood of this nation
[23:17] <Chwoka> that's what's wrong with america, man. coca-cola
[23:18] <Chwoka> you gonna buy bounty paper towels with your bounty cash?
[23:19] <Whimbrel> nahh
[23:19] <Chwoka> something to wipe the viscera off your hands?
[23:19] <Chwoka> well let me tell you, buddy — them stains don't come out
23:20] <Chwoka> you'll just be straight lady macbethin' it, all, out-damned-spot
[23:20] <Whimbrel> what should I spend my $4~ on
[23:20] <Chwoka> but you're the damned one
[23:21] <Whimbrel> chwoka, you're in jail, so
[23:21] <Timu12> spend it on me
[23:21] <Whimbrel> Hmmmmmm
[23:21] <Whimbrel> yeah!
[23:21] <Timu12> :D
[23:21] * Whimbrel buys timu a doughnut
[23:21] <Anomaly> hi sanzh
[23:21] <Sanzh> hey anomaly
[23:21] <Anomaly> can i have one whim
[23:21] <Whimbrel> it's bought with the blood of my dear friend chwoka
[23:21] <Whimbrel> I only have fourish dollars noms
[23:21] <Whimbrel> so yes
[23:22] <Anomaly> hooray
[23:22] * Whimbrel hands one to anomaly too
[23:22] <Chwoka> ha, you think they send the hardcore mofos like me to jail with the normies?
[23:22] <Chwoka> no, no way
[23:22] <Chwoka> listen, ain't no chance this bird is gonna be flyin' any time soon
[23:22] <Whimbrel> heck, does this mean I have to start dodgin assassins
[23:22] <Chwoka> they got me on con air, the big maximum-security prison in the sky
[23:22] <Anomaly> offer them donuts too, whim
[23:22] <Whimbrel> I can't
[23:22] <Anomaly> why not
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I only had enough for two doughnuts
[23:23] <Chwoka> first-class ticket
[23:23] <Whimbrel> from selling out Chwoka
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I'm gonna have to rely on more drastic measures to deal with these assassins
[23:23] <Anomaly> uh
[23:23] <Anomaly> sell out Chwoka a second time
[23:23] <Anomaly> he'll have to go to double-jail
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I can't until april 15th
[23:24] <Anomaly> dang
[23:24] <Whimbrel> the big tax dodge day
[23:24] <Chwoka> by the way that's not a metaphor for heaven
23:25] <Chwoka> it's a literal manmade prison that's got a giant hot-air-balloon apparatus on top
[23:26] <Chwoka> the alcatraz of air
[23:33] * Chwoka (~Chwoka@m854036d0.tmodns.net) has joined #eagletime
[23:34] <Chwoka> and just like that, my so-called friends, the ones who sold me down the river for half a whole-wheat sandwich and a hockey stick, have forgotten about lil' ol' me
[23:34] <Whimbrel> chwoka i'm too busy thinking about gay vikings
[23:35] <Chwoka> it's the way of the drifter, i guess... never get too close
[23:35] <Chwoka> or you might just drift... right over the edge
[23:36] <Chwoka> whimbrel i'm still deep in tax evasion ennui and no disconnection can stop me
[23:36] <Whimbrel> do you think gay vikings dodged taxes
[23:37] <Chwoka> no, they were the taxes
[23:37] <Whimbrel> gasp
[23:38] <Chwoka> they'd roll in, pillage the village, burn it to the ground, and leave
[23:38] <Chwoka> today? today, man?
[23:39] <Whimbrel> yeah today, we're doing this
[23:39] <Whimbrel> we're looting
[23:39] <Chwoka> same shit, different clothes
[23:39] <Chwoka> less gay
[23:39] <Whimbrel> more gay
[23:39] <Timu12> 50 gay
[23:40] <Whimbrel> not enough
[23:41] <Chwoka> you... you're the enemy
[23:41] <Chwoka> you're the mole in our ranks
[23:41] <Chwoka> and you were right under my nose, the whole time... astonishing
[23:41] <Chwoka> you're not just a tax collector, you're taxes
[22:56] <Chwoka> i'm a rebel on the run
[22:56] <Chwoka> never sleeping in the same town twice, a wallet full of fake ids, my whole life in a briefcase...
[22:57] <Chwoka> there's a gun out there with my name on it, and that gun is named the IRS
[22:58] <Chwoka> it's how they got al capone
[22:59] <Chwoka> yes sir, one of these days i'm gonna be going through my mail, minding my business, when i'll see that i have a letter from the feds
[23:00] <Chwoka> i'll open it and inside'll just be anthrax
[23:00] <Chwoka> my days are numbered, i have to live every day like it's my last because it just might be
[23:00] <Chwoka> i've loved, i've left, i'm responible for a landfill full of burner cell phones
[23:01] <Chwoka> i'm responsible for it, but i've since lost custody. i've been evading those child support payments as well
[23:02] <Chwoka> but what choice does a man like me have? an outcast from society, a human being who just doesn't follow the same rules as everyone else
[netsplit]
[00:24] <Chwoka> oh man you actually missed a whole chunk
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:04:13] <Chwoka> the type of guy to see a door labelled "emergency exit only" and still leave out it so long as it don't read "alarm will sound" or "police will be called"
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:04:19] <Chwoka> a man like that is dangerous. a man like that has to be eliminated.
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:05:55] <Chwoka> in another life, another time, maybe the us government and i could have seen eye-to-eye on these sorts of things... i'm sure kennedy woulda let it slide.
[00:24] <Chwoka> [20:06:18] <Chwoka> i really coulda been a g-man if not for this spectre haunting my soul
<Chwoka> yes sir, we're not too different, me and them
<Chwoka> but now it's all too systematized. computers. bytes. datamining. wikileaks. the stock market
[Chwoka reenters]
[23:10] <Chwoka> they've got their arms shoulder-deep up our buttholes and they're puppeting us like puppetmasters. but not me, oh no sir, my butthole is clenched tight around my own arm and i am the maker of my own destiny, livin' on the edge. the edge of my shoulder. and why is it that they call them shoulders... when they don't should, huh? these are the questions they don't want you to ask
[23:10] <Chwoka> (don't worry friends, they didn't take me out... not yet, at least)
[23:12] <Chwoka> and so i come to job corps, a us federal program, until i can line up my next identity
[23:12] <Chwoka> why? why descend into the belly of the beast like that?
[23:12] <Chwoka> because i live for the thrill
[23:13] <Chwoka> there ain't nothin' left for me to live for, exactly
[23:13] <Chwoka> not since that fateful day, april 15th, 2015
[23:13] * Whimbrel turns chwoka in for that sweet, sweet bounty money
[23:14] <Timu12> 5 dollars
[23:14] * Whimbrel walks away with 5 whole dollars
[23:14] <@DragonFogel> Whim, I hope you realize that bounty money is taxable.
[23:14] <Whimbrel> HECK
[23:14] * Whimbrel walks away with less than 5 dollars
[23:15] <Timu12> hehe
[23:15] <Chwoka> they try to trick me. "oh, come on down to the irs, we just wanna give you your tax rebate." the liars. all they're gonna give me is their own poop in a manilla envelope and they're gonna make me eat it. i've seen it happen to greater men than i
[23:16] <Chwoka> Whimbrel: you rat. you dirty rat. you snitch. i'll get you for this. you don't know the kinda connections i got. and i'm not talkin' 'bout the internet, you nerd. you nerd rat fink motherfucker
[23:16] <Chwoka> how much was it, huh?
[23:16] <Chwoka> how many pieces of silver. judas?
[23:16] <Whimbrel> hm, what's the price of a silver piece on the market today?
[23:16] <Chwoka> what you gonna buy with your blood money?
[23:16] <Chwoka> a cold, refreshing coca-cola? or just more blood?
[23:16] <Whimbrel> probably more blood tbh
[23:17] <Whimbrel> It looks like I got...about a fourth of an ounce of silver, yeah.
[23:17] <Chwoka> coca-cola — the synthetic, syrupy, fattening, acidic lifeblood of this nation
[23:17] <Chwoka> that's what's wrong with america, man. coca-cola
[23:18] <Chwoka> you gonna buy bounty paper towels with your bounty cash?
[23:19] <Whimbrel> nahh
[23:19] <Chwoka> something to wipe the viscera off your hands?
[23:19] <Chwoka> well let me tell you, buddy — them stains don't come out
23:20] <Chwoka> you'll just be straight lady macbethin' it, all, out-damned-spot
[23:20] <Whimbrel> what should I spend my $4~ on
[23:20] <Chwoka> but you're the damned one
[23:21] <Whimbrel> chwoka, you're in jail, so
[23:21] <Timu12> spend it on me
[23:21] <Whimbrel> Hmmmmmm
[23:21] <Whimbrel> yeah!
[23:21] <Timu12> :D
[23:21] * Whimbrel buys timu a doughnut
[23:21] <Anomaly> hi sanzh
[23:21] <Sanzh> hey anomaly
[23:21] <Anomaly> can i have one whim
[23:21] <Whimbrel> it's bought with the blood of my dear friend chwoka
[23:21] <Whimbrel> I only have fourish dollars noms
[23:21] <Whimbrel> so yes
[23:22] <Anomaly> hooray
[23:22] * Whimbrel hands one to anomaly too
[23:22] <Chwoka> ha, you think they send the hardcore mofos like me to jail with the normies?
[23:22] <Chwoka> no, no way
[23:22] <Chwoka> listen, ain't no chance this bird is gonna be flyin' any time soon
[23:22] <Whimbrel> heck, does this mean I have to start dodgin assassins
[23:22] <Chwoka> they got me on con air, the big maximum-security prison in the sky
[23:22] <Anomaly> offer them donuts too, whim
[23:22] <Whimbrel> I can't
[23:22] <Anomaly> why not
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I only had enough for two doughnuts
[23:23] <Chwoka> first-class ticket
[23:23] <Whimbrel> from selling out Chwoka
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I'm gonna have to rely on more drastic measures to deal with these assassins
[23:23] <Anomaly> uh
[23:23] <Anomaly> sell out Chwoka a second time
[23:23] <Anomaly> he'll have to go to double-jail
[23:23] <Whimbrel> I can't until april 15th
[23:24] <Anomaly> dang
[23:24] <Whimbrel> the big tax dodge day
[23:24] <Chwoka> by the way that's not a metaphor for heaven
23:25] <Chwoka> it's a literal manmade prison that's got a giant hot-air-balloon apparatus on top
[23:26] <Chwoka> the alcatraz of air
[23:33] * Chwoka (~Chwoka@m854036d0.tmodns.net) has joined #eagletime
[23:34] <Chwoka> and just like that, my so-called friends, the ones who sold me down the river for half a whole-wheat sandwich and a hockey stick, have forgotten about lil' ol' me
[23:34] <Whimbrel> chwoka i'm too busy thinking about gay vikings
[23:35] <Chwoka> it's the way of the drifter, i guess... never get too close
[23:35] <Chwoka> or you might just drift... right over the edge
[23:36] <Chwoka> whimbrel i'm still deep in tax evasion ennui and no disconnection can stop me
[23:36] <Whimbrel> do you think gay vikings dodged taxes
[23:37] <Chwoka> no, they were the taxes
[23:37] <Whimbrel> gasp
[23:38] <Chwoka> they'd roll in, pillage the village, burn it to the ground, and leave
[23:38] <Chwoka> today? today, man?
[23:39] <Whimbrel> yeah today, we're doing this
[23:39] <Whimbrel> we're looting
[23:39] <Chwoka> same shit, different clothes
[23:39] <Chwoka> less gay
[23:39] <Whimbrel> more gay
[23:39] <Timu12> 50 gay
[23:40] <Whimbrel> not enough
[23:41] <Chwoka> you... you're the enemy
[23:41] <Chwoka> you're the mole in our ranks
[23:41] <Chwoka> and you were right under my nose, the whole time... astonishing
[23:41] <Chwoka> you're not just a tax collector, you're taxes
Quote:[23:53] <Chwoka> and remember, if you expose me asking you to post it so i don't look hypocritical, i can expose you right back for the same crime since you're in it too
[23:54] <Whimbrel> oh snap
[23:54] <Chwoka> mutual blackmail
[23:54] <Whimbrel> you've got me
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