Local Want Ads

Loose Dog: Will the person letting their Great White Pyrenese run loose in XXXXX please contain it. It is damaging property and causing trouble. There is a leash law and it will be reported if you fail to act on this.

Facebook: [local college], 55 and older, Apr. 19-21, only $25. XXX-XXX-XXXX

There's a 1-ton dump for sale, which is some truck that also happens to have a Cummins engine and really I'm just a child.

And a sad one :c

Cancer ended my Restoration Project: 1977 Terry bass boat with 150 HP motor, water speed over 50 MPH, several new parts already purchased. $2,500. Billy, XXX-XXX-XXXX

And as for our old buddy Ron (and Yoko Ono Jeri), they're still thumping, but its not particularly funny. Its the same old same old with them, so just imagine it in your heads. If Ron ever starts spitting true fire again I'll show ya.