RE: Tonguewizard And The Journey For The Perfect Instrument
05-10-2012, 12:18 AM
"I challenge you to a poetry slam contest!" Tonguewizard said, except it came out as "I aaaa ooo a oea a oe".
"Snorny florney borney dorney!" the chef replied, which Tonguewizard took to mean Yes.
The chef then babbled something for a few minutes, and Tonguewizard had no idea what it meant.
Then he remembered that he had an autotranslation and playback cellphone app spell.
The chef's autotuned voice played back, and it said:
"Bill Cosby was the name of a duck with a magical tongue,
It wasn't magical until upon a bionic farm the duck was flung.
They had great juicy apples on the farm,
And Bill Cosby licked one, not expecting it to do any harm.
When he did so, he found his tongue now had a purse,
But little did he know it would come with a curse.
Within the purse was a cellphone and it gave his tongue magic,
But then something happened and it was tragic.
Bill Cosby saw the farmer and tried to say hello,
But then all of a sudden he was swarmed by jello.
He tried to call for help, then thought Oh no! I can't!
Because his tongue had been pulled out by a carnivorous plant.
But then something happened when the clock struck the hour:
Bill Cosby's tongue gained an amazing new power.
The plant obeyed the duck's tongue and set it free,
And then the tongue thought Tongueman! That's me!
Then later, after he used his spells to chase off a lizard,
He decided a better name would be Tonguewizard."
Tonguewizard was shocked. He had planned to perform his poem in the form of a scathing cuisine review, which he would pass along to Dungeon Review Monthly with his cell phone magic. But this chef-creature had just perfectly summed up his own amazing origins; how could Tonguewizard hope to match such beautiful poetry and overcome his greatest challenge yet?
"Snorny florney borney dorney!" the chef replied, which Tonguewizard took to mean Yes.
The chef then babbled something for a few minutes, and Tonguewizard had no idea what it meant.
Then he remembered that he had an autotranslation and playback cellphone app spell.
The chef's autotuned voice played back, and it said:
"Bill Cosby was the name of a duck with a magical tongue,
It wasn't magical until upon a bionic farm the duck was flung.
They had great juicy apples on the farm,
And Bill Cosby licked one, not expecting it to do any harm.
When he did so, he found his tongue now had a purse,
But little did he know it would come with a curse.
Within the purse was a cellphone and it gave his tongue magic,
But then something happened and it was tragic.
Bill Cosby saw the farmer and tried to say hello,
But then all of a sudden he was swarmed by jello.
He tried to call for help, then thought Oh no! I can't!
Because his tongue had been pulled out by a carnivorous plant.
But then something happened when the clock struck the hour:
Bill Cosby's tongue gained an amazing new power.
The plant obeyed the duck's tongue and set it free,
And then the tongue thought Tongueman! That's me!
Then later, after he used his spells to chase off a lizard,
He decided a better name would be Tonguewizard."
Tonguewizard was shocked. He had planned to perform his poem in the form of a scathing cuisine review, which he would pass along to Dungeon Review Monthly with his cell phone magic. But this chef-creature had just perfectly summed up his own amazing origins; how could Tonguewizard hope to match such beautiful poetry and overcome his greatest challenge yet?