Consistency

The lemonade stand is clearly the better front organization.

Yeah, you aren't convinced that watermelonade is going to sell that well. You tell Lemonade Inc.'s representative that you're going with their offer for the front yard.
Watermelon Ltd.'s rep storms out angrily. He says you've made a powerful enemy today. Then he pokes his head back in and asks if you can come to his birthday party this Saturday.
You tell him you'll check your schedule. Then you shake hands with Lemonade Inc's representative, and sign the contract.
That went rather well. But now you have to look at your options for the back yard. What sort of business do you want to rent space to over there?

> this is the wrong strip club.

You start sweating profusely as the truth dawns on you. This isn't the Peanuts Club at all! That's why there are so many pictures of orange cats!
Good grief, it's no wonder you're so nervous. What if somebody notices you snooping around? You get the feeling they'll do worse than tell you to go fly a kite.
What are you going to do?

Jump the queue!

You jump your way to the head of the line, without touching the ground of course. 100, 200, 400, 800, 1000, 2000, 4000, 8000... damn, just shy of the 1-Up!
Oh well. You made it into Bowser's Snack Shack, at least. So, what are you going to order?

DJ Pantheris: Turn it up!

Right, okay, you got this.
You're going for the turnips over the radishes for this vegetable sculpture, and you've decided that the subject will be DJ Pantheris. That gives you the perfect title for this piece, too.
But wait! You just remembered that there was talk of him changing his style today at 2 PM... and it's 2:30 now.
You can't have your sculpture be outdated! But if you're not finished with it by the end of class, you're going to fail!
How the heck are you going to find out about DJ Pantheris' new style in time to make sure your turnip sculture matches?

Angle it 33º vertically, 54º horizontally.

You perform the calculations, and place your fishing rod accordingly. That Troutonometry is sure to take the bait!
You wait for motion on your line segment, and... Uh-oh. Looks like you miscalculated - you've hooked a Linear Algebass instead! And it's a nasty one.
You've gone all day without a catch, though. You'd better at least try to pull this one in, proper angling technique or not... but how are you going to solve this problem?

Don't, to disastrous consequences.

Yeah, you've had enough of following these "DO" guidelines! You're going to be a "DON'T" man, through and through!
You look at the pictures again. "DON'T make faces at a grizzly bear with a chainsaw."
Looks like you have your plan for today laid out. Well, except for a couple of key details. Where are you going to find a grizzly bear? And how are you going to get it to pick up a chainsaw?
Most importantly, what sort of face should you make at it?

Don't forget your spare batteries.

That's right!
Yeah, your Assault may have gone down earlier than you expected, but that doesn't mean you can't still use a Battery or two. You toss both on the field, and they soon beat up Extortion and Conspiracy.

That was close. But the match is almost over. You've got five years left before you hit a Life Sentence, your opponent's only got one. That means he's probably just got one Crime left he can play, and it'll be a weak one. You can do this.

So why's the jerk grinning so hard?

"An interesting move. But now it's my turn. Vandalism, go!"

Goddammit!

You totally forgot about Misdemeanors! Hardly any Crime Fighters use them nowadays. But at only 30 day sentences... he could still have eleven more!

Misdemeanors are generally pretty weak - but Vandalism's effects can last even after he's off the field. If he makes good use of the rest of his Record - and from how this match has gone, you're sure he's smart enough to - he might just outlast you.

But it's not over yet. You've got five years of freedom left. What are you gonna do with them?