Energy Drinks Thread

Wrenching the discourse back into its rightful DANK DRANK RANKS, it's THE RETURN OF

ILL-ADVISED ENERGY DRINK REVIEWS

Scale ranges from 0 to 10, with 10 being THE DEFINITIVE ENERGY DRINK EXPERIENCE



COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE STUDIO, TONIGHT IT'S

~CHAMPAGNE~????







THINK AGAIN


~ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS ENERGY DRINK~



As the above bait-and-switch might indicate, there's not much to optically differentiate a glass of ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS from the champagne I was drinking earlier tonight. A bit more foam on the top, tops.

DO NOT BE FOOLED!

For it conceals a vile secret (also a vile tang, but I'm getting to that)!

Indeed, the purported 'super' 'sours' is in fact a PALE IMITATION of any self-respecting lemon sour. The flavor of ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS is instead something of a halfway house between mild orange-sours and bitter schweppes, with the upsides of neither.

I almost marked down NOS for being liquid enough to chug, but ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS manages to best it in this arena: the diabolical brewers behind it have managed to concoct something just liquid enough to linger on your tongue, making it noticeably unpleasant to down too quickly. This means the go-to option is savoring the vague sour-esque-lite flavor in your mouth for a good 3-5 seconds before swallowing. Which is An Experience, let me assure you.

The aftertaste of this standout energy drank is the most awful 'best' part, with hints of the beverage persisting on your tongue for a rocket-fuel-grade five minutes after consumption. Longer, if ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS' extreme carbonation and your digestive system's proclivity for belching has a say.

As for what that taste brings to mind: imagine a lemon and a lime botching a murder-suicide in an alleyway, while a storm surge is covering the ground in a thin film of orangey sewage. That essentially sums up what's going on behind your molars after a good swig of ROCKSTAR SUPERSOURS.

So as you might expect,

10/10, would never drink again