RE: The thread for flipping shits (and tables)
12-28-2015, 05:00 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-28-2015, 05:43 AM by Fellow.)
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SpoilerI guess I'm either going to dump this on one of my parents or strangers somewhere on the internet, and my mother already worries herself sick when she knows I have to drive in the dark while my father will most likely scold me until I fix the problem myself, and I know from experience that that's counterproductive.
I'm sitting here at 4 AM(Well, it's 6AM now that I'm hitting the submit button), with an assignment open, and I've been trying to get a start on it since 10 PM. Normally I would quit at this point, as I don't function all that well past midnight, but I had been going through this same routine yesterday untill midnight, and I've been on a similar procastination streak all week save for christmas.
There seems to be something about writing an assesment that I can't grasp. I'm great at giving feedback on the matter but as soon as I try to write something myself, I can't even produce something worth reviewing. It's not a self esteem thing either, I'm almost literally missing half the points on a checklist I have to fulfill. Handing in my 'work', if you would even call it that, in its current state would be the equivalent of telling everybody they're gonna have to do my work for me because I sure won't, all whilst flipping them off.
Normally this wouldn't be so bad, but
-This is part of a group assigment, and me and my comrades had promised one-another we would have it done on the 20th. And that's if something came up and we couldn't do it earlier. I'm not the only guy who hasn't done jack-squat, but my only virtue in a group tends to be my reliability. I can't joke to save my life and I have zero leadership qualities, but at least when I'm told come early and bring lunch I'm there before sunrise with cupcakes. Someone even got a little voyeuristic and started bashing on a hypothetical culprit who got into a situation where they had to work during christmas break. If I end up asking for help rather than providing good work, chances are I'm getting kicked out of the group and judging by the way things are currently set up that seems like a surefire way to have me fail college.
-I have other work to do. I'm looking at 8-10 hours a day right now, but that'll keep increasing if I keep spending entire days putting off this simple thing. We're even expected to put 12 hours in on some days, as to allot free time to the weekends, so it's not like this is an abnormally huge workload. But look at me, I spent several days looking at two hours of work instead of doing it.
I guess I should consider dropping out of college because clearly it's giving me stress and maybe I just can't be responsible enough to hold a job that I could get out of it, but my mind is all I have going for me. I'm so bad at speaking, networking and things like lifting that I'm looking at the tomato picker end of the job market if I can't get some kind of technical know-how under my belt. It's not like I don't have the brains for college, either. (Though I suppose you could argue that my current work ethics don't really speak well of my ability to think.) I've been able get away with doing very little, it's just that I'm doing next to nothing now.
I'm sitting here at 4 AM(Well, it's 6AM now that I'm hitting the submit button), with an assignment open, and I've been trying to get a start on it since 10 PM. Normally I would quit at this point, as I don't function all that well past midnight, but I had been going through this same routine yesterday untill midnight, and I've been on a similar procastination streak all week save for christmas.
There seems to be something about writing an assesment that I can't grasp. I'm great at giving feedback on the matter but as soon as I try to write something myself, I can't even produce something worth reviewing. It's not a self esteem thing either, I'm almost literally missing half the points on a checklist I have to fulfill. Handing in my 'work', if you would even call it that, in its current state would be the equivalent of telling everybody they're gonna have to do my work for me because I sure won't, all whilst flipping them off.
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becomes a litttle ranty hereLooking at examples doesn't help, either. "This is basically a metal pipe where water goes into and out of. I can't describe it aging like a turbine and I don't have the proper words to say 'after a while it could burst open'.". This is a problem I should ask a professor or my classmates about when I run into it, and I should've done that last month. Because I should've been actively seeking out gaps in my knowledge instead of playing catch-up and I've known that since middle school. And that's only because I slep on my desk in kindergarten. Hell, I'd get away with not knowing this one thing but I haven't contributed a thing in the two week I've been doing this. To top that off, I made the great and ever present descision to basically not say anything, futher marking myself as either lazy or incompetent. We've even been told that a lack of verbal input is the number one sign of a freeloader and yet I still did it, because, what if I'm wrong, and I get shot down and ridiculed? Boo hoo. What a terrible risk nobody has had to take ever.
Normally this wouldn't be so bad, but
-This is part of a group assigment, and me and my comrades had promised one-another we would have it done on the 20th. And that's if something came up and we couldn't do it earlier. I'm not the only guy who hasn't done jack-squat, but my only virtue in a group tends to be my reliability. I can't joke to save my life and I have zero leadership qualities, but at least when I'm told come early and bring lunch I'm there before sunrise with cupcakes. Someone even got a little voyeuristic and started bashing on a hypothetical culprit who got into a situation where they had to work during christmas break. If I end up asking for help rather than providing good work, chances are I'm getting kicked out of the group and judging by the way things are currently set up that seems like a surefire way to have me fail college.
-I have other work to do. I'm looking at 8-10 hours a day right now, but that'll keep increasing if I keep spending entire days putting off this simple thing. We're even expected to put 12 hours in on some days, as to allot free time to the weekends, so it's not like this is an abnormally huge workload. But look at me, I spent several days looking at two hours of work instead of doing it.
I guess I should consider dropping out of college because clearly it's giving me stress and maybe I just can't be responsible enough to hold a job that I could get out of it, but my mind is all I have going for me. I'm so bad at speaking, networking and things like lifting that I'm looking at the tomato picker end of the job market if I can't get some kind of technical know-how under my belt. It's not like I don't have the brains for college, either. (Though I suppose you could argue that my current work ethics don't really speak well of my ability to think.) I've been able get away with doing very little, it's just that I'm doing next to nothing now.
Edit: Ugh, I'm not being very coherent here. I shouldn't be writing posts this far past my bedtime, but I kind of felt like getting it off my chest. To be more to the point, I'm having a problem with procastination, and at this point it's becoming a problem for other people who have the power to really screw me over.