The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

I'm sorry, :c

I went shopping with mum today? She wanted to get me some new clothes, because over the last year i've managed to gain over 20kg and nothing fits me anymore, or its too short. So mum comes home stressed and headachey from work, and we head off. Possibly an important note here: i usually hate december because my family like making events about themselves instead of whoever is celebrating. This was a million times worse when i was still on speaking terms with my dad, who has been divorced from mum since i was about 10- he used to use my birthday as a means to get back at her, or whatever. Even mum, who tried not to be bitter (though she had every right to be, dad is an abusive fuckhead) would get v upset if she didn't get to have dinner with me on my birthday. Even though the date is not important to me in the slightest, and i made that clear.

ANYWAY. I've gained this terrifying amount of weight (literally an extra 1/4 of my previous bodyweight on top, for those of you who don't grasp metric) and as a result everything looks like a potato sack on me. I look like a weird pile of potatoes. Mum is getting frustrated as we go through a few stores, because she clearly just wants to get everything done in this trip and be done with it. I'm getting increasingly upset because i am being confronted with how horrible i look now. She yelled at me to hurry because she wanted to look in yet another store before it closed, but i was sick of it at this point and was completely done. This trip was supposed to be about me and finding me a nice thing to wear, and instead has turned into mum feeling like she's been a good parent and gotten me a nice present even though now i feel like trash. Happy birthday to me

Also, sort of related: when i was flatting i live right next to this mall, and being that i love cafes i spent a lot of time there. Theres also a kmart and the supermarket open till midnight, so i used to go browse around late at night because i could? It was basically a second home. Anyway today i felt like some sort of weird alien going into the crowds of people and i felt super uncomfortable? I just wanted to hide. I've barely left the house in the past few months too. Is this how agoraphobia starts