RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs
04-16-2012, 02:32 PM
I recall hearing that. It sounded pretty understandable to me, and it seemed to explain why certain cultures (like the Irish - g0m you crafty drunkard) have much higher alcohol tolerances than other races (like certain Asian groups or Native Americans). In those places you drank beer/mead or you drank diseased filled water and you died.
I am pretty sure I am some percentage of Native American, if alcohol dehydrogenase's ethic distribution has anything to say about me being a gigantic lightweight.
I'll generally have a beer to two if I'm in a situation that warrants loosening up. Now, while I could focus on loosening up without the aid of a depressant, its like people who try to get going in the morning by taking a shot of coffee and setting a chemical free alarm. You can do both.
In fact, the most common inebriator for myself is lack of sleep. I'll say or do stupid things, I can't drive worth anything, and I am waaaay more emotional, but if I'm having a good time I'm not gonna to take a quick nap just to get my senses back.
Anyway I'm bringing this back to where it started: sharing stories of intoxicated follies.
(sorry peeps who get miffed at alcohol stories!)
So I will rarely drink to the point of overt inebriation - two beers and I'm done. There is, however, one crucial exception.
The Superbowl.
As someone who really only watches sports by accident, and tries to maintain enough information to feign small-talk with more committed fans, The Superbowl doesn't have much to offer me in the realm of tv programming. 3 hours of football (oh sorry, American football, heretofore referred to as "FOOTBALL!") intermixed with commercials that were on youtube the day before and a halftime show featuring people-I-don't-care-about leaves me with not much to be interested in.
But the ritual is already there. Back when commercials were fresh and funny and my family would put out snacks and food and treats, I fell in love with the Superbowl Party. Eventually it transitioned into time with friends instead of family, and lil' smokies and sherbert became bratwurst and party drinks.
I've had two superbowls where alcohol was part of my party food intake. The first one was good, then, great, then OH GOD WHY. The second one was much less dramatic. But almost the entirety of my "When I was drunk" stories have come from these two parties.
I had never been hungover prior to that first Superbowl. I really hadn't started drinking beer until recently, but my roommate/landlord was a little more experienced in the art of booze (I think due to the influence of his older brothers) and would stock our fridge from time to time. Well I like to try different food/drinks and I hate seeing things sit in the fridge for too long so when the opportunity arose I'd grab that beer or two and play heavy rain or saints row or whatever the game of the week was with him.
Well I have another friend. She has a pretty cool job and we've been best bros for over decade now so I'd have the luxury of sharing some of the dranks she would get over the course of working at her pretty cool job. (now she would not describe her job as such, and the free booze is really one of the few perks of her toils, in her opinion, but hey I think her job is neat even if it is just glorified customer service) So superbowl was coming around and roommate was throwing a party and friend was invited and so was Noodly and other friends and anyway, my friend had apparently been stockpiling these free drinks for some time and figured this party was as great an excuse as any to get rid of them.
So she made a pitcher of pomgranite martini mix with several mini bottles of grey goose vodka as the base.
Here is the story: I drank 3/4 of that pitcher.
I really didn't know what my limits were, or what to look for in myself as an indicator of having too much. But I think I now have a reliable indicator of my intoxication levels.
It's called "what is btp cooking now?"
Is it grilled shrip wrapped in bacon and stuffed with mozzerella cheese and jalepeno? -> Not intoxicated
Is it fried hushpuppies? -> slightly intoxicated
Is it mozzerella cheese sticks because oh man I have left over cheese and hushpuppy mix? Do these cheese sticks fuse together into a gigantic bowl of fried crisps, melted cheese, and paper towel? Does he start eating it anyway? -> quite intoxicated
After this disaster of a dish does he look in the freezer for something else to fry and pull out a tub of blue-bell vanilla icecream? Does he proceed to fry it in fish batter??? -> Dude, it is time to stop.
If I have to say the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted, it was that fried fish-batter icecream. Second place is a super old cup of coffee I tried at a counselors office when I was like 8 - it's basically why I don't drink coffee now.
I only recall a few other things from that night. Not one of those things is who won that superbowl (though now it would be hard to recall who even played in it - I think Greenbay?). I recall thinking "I need to go to the bathroom" and then filling my bathtub up with all of the aforementioned food. (I was thinking "I need to use the larger receptacle"). I remember leaning my head against the toilet seat and cursing Bill Cosby. I remember standing in the shower because my roommate told me that would help, and seeing little pieces of shrimp at my feet. I also remember waking up the next day with a really sucky hangover and the worst ice-cream related memory ever.
The second Superbowl was much nicer. My roommate (wait no, ex-roommate then) smoked three racks of ribs, I had a pilsner glass and drank a grand total of FOUR BEERS. As the prolific video I took shows, I was pretty far out of it - hence, throwing my phone out in the yard, releasing the hounds, and having to "go to the bathroom" again.
It ended much better though. By the time I came out of it, my roommate was passed out and the other guests had had their fill. I just sat in the kitchen smacking on ribs and watching the replay of the puppybowl. Good End get.
....
wait don't I already have a thread to post long crap like this?
I am pretty sure I am some percentage of Native American, if alcohol dehydrogenase's ethic distribution has anything to say about me being a gigantic lightweight.
I'll generally have a beer to two if I'm in a situation that warrants loosening up. Now, while I could focus on loosening up without the aid of a depressant, its like people who try to get going in the morning by taking a shot of coffee and setting a chemical free alarm. You can do both.
In fact, the most common inebriator for myself is lack of sleep. I'll say or do stupid things, I can't drive worth anything, and I am waaaay more emotional, but if I'm having a good time I'm not gonna to take a quick nap just to get my senses back.
Anyway I'm bringing this back to where it started: sharing stories of intoxicated follies.
(sorry peeps who get miffed at alcohol stories!)
So I will rarely drink to the point of overt inebriation - two beers and I'm done. There is, however, one crucial exception.
The Superbowl.
As someone who really only watches sports by accident, and tries to maintain enough information to feign small-talk with more committed fans, The Superbowl doesn't have much to offer me in the realm of tv programming. 3 hours of football (oh sorry, American football, heretofore referred to as "FOOTBALL!") intermixed with commercials that were on youtube the day before and a halftime show featuring people-I-don't-care-about leaves me with not much to be interested in.
But the ritual is already there. Back when commercials were fresh and funny and my family would put out snacks and food and treats, I fell in love with the Superbowl Party. Eventually it transitioned into time with friends instead of family, and lil' smokies and sherbert became bratwurst and party drinks.
I've had two superbowls where alcohol was part of my party food intake. The first one was good, then, great, then OH GOD WHY. The second one was much less dramatic. But almost the entirety of my "When I was drunk" stories have come from these two parties.
I had never been hungover prior to that first Superbowl. I really hadn't started drinking beer until recently, but my roommate/landlord was a little more experienced in the art of booze (I think due to the influence of his older brothers) and would stock our fridge from time to time. Well I like to try different food/drinks and I hate seeing things sit in the fridge for too long so when the opportunity arose I'd grab that beer or two and play heavy rain or saints row or whatever the game of the week was with him.
Well I have another friend. She has a pretty cool job and we've been best bros for over decade now so I'd have the luxury of sharing some of the dranks she would get over the course of working at her pretty cool job. (now she would not describe her job as such, and the free booze is really one of the few perks of her toils, in her opinion, but hey I think her job is neat even if it is just glorified customer service) So superbowl was coming around and roommate was throwing a party and friend was invited and so was Noodly and other friends and anyway, my friend had apparently been stockpiling these free drinks for some time and figured this party was as great an excuse as any to get rid of them.
So she made a pitcher of pomgranite martini mix with several mini bottles of grey goose vodka as the base.
Here is the story: I drank 3/4 of that pitcher.
I really didn't know what my limits were, or what to look for in myself as an indicator of having too much. But I think I now have a reliable indicator of my intoxication levels.
It's called "what is btp cooking now?"
Is it grilled shrip wrapped in bacon and stuffed with mozzerella cheese and jalepeno? -> Not intoxicated
Is it fried hushpuppies? -> slightly intoxicated
Is it mozzerella cheese sticks because oh man I have left over cheese and hushpuppy mix? Do these cheese sticks fuse together into a gigantic bowl of fried crisps, melted cheese, and paper towel? Does he start eating it anyway? -> quite intoxicated
After this disaster of a dish does he look in the freezer for something else to fry and pull out a tub of blue-bell vanilla icecream? Does he proceed to fry it in fish batter??? -> Dude, it is time to stop.
If I have to say the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted, it was that fried fish-batter icecream. Second place is a super old cup of coffee I tried at a counselors office when I was like 8 - it's basically why I don't drink coffee now.
I only recall a few other things from that night. Not one of those things is who won that superbowl (though now it would be hard to recall who even played in it - I think Greenbay?). I recall thinking "I need to go to the bathroom" and then filling my bathtub up with all of the aforementioned food. (I was thinking "I need to use the larger receptacle"). I remember leaning my head against the toilet seat and cursing Bill Cosby. I remember standing in the shower because my roommate told me that would help, and seeing little pieces of shrimp at my feet. I also remember waking up the next day with a really sucky hangover and the worst ice-cream related memory ever.
The second Superbowl was much nicer. My roommate (wait no, ex-roommate then) smoked three racks of ribs, I had a pilsner glass and drank a grand total of FOUR BEERS. As the prolific video I took shows, I was pretty far out of it - hence, throwing my phone out in the yard, releasing the hounds, and having to "go to the bathroom" again.
It ended much better though. By the time I came out of it, my roommate was passed out and the other guests had had their fill. I just sat in the kitchen smacking on ribs and watching the replay of the puppybowl. Good End get.
....
wait don't I already have a thread to post long crap like this?