Order and Chaos

"whoops, did any of you see that?"

"No," said the crowd, in unified chorus. "We're all blind, asshole!"

Of course! Everyone here but me is completely blind! I don't remember how that slipped my mind.

"So you didn't see anything?" I said, smiling. "See anything I did, at all?"

"No, of course not," they said. I must take a detour now to clarify, they're not any sort of sci-fi hivemind or anything, they just very agreed and happened to have good timing.

Two broke from the chorus they were in earlier and harmonized melodically from the front lines: "What the fuck do you think being blind is, idiot? However,"

"We damn sure heard everything!" the whole crowd finished.

Shit.

"It's his fault" you say as you point to another member of the council

A brief pause rippled through the crowd as they did the wave, sitting down and standing back up again with their arms raised.

"We can't see where you're pointing," they said, "because we're blind. Come on, you moron."

How did they even know I was pointing? I shook a few blind toddlers off my still-rigid pointing arm, disturbing their delicate human pyramid.

Suddenly, I remembered an old adage from my home country! In the land of the blind... I swiftly raised the gun to the side of my left eye socket and pulled the trigger before I had time for a second thought.

"Aw, shit."

Oh my gods, I didn't realize how much getting shot hurt. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why did I sign up as a bodyguard?! This is bad. In seconds, I'm on the ground, writhing around and clutching my bloody eye socket, screaming profanities to the heavens. As I cry, my left tear duct throbs, aggravating my bullet wound.

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm so sorry I shot myself in the eye. That was a bad idea. I wish I could undo it now."

"You made that sacrifice for me?" said the whole crowd. It's deafening. Between the roar of a community and gunshots ringing out inches from my ear... It'd suck if I lost my hearing in the land of the blind because of all this. "You didn't have to do that just 'cause I'M blind! I like you just the way you are! ...As a matter of fact, I..." the members of the crowd got choked up. They had something on their minds to say to me, and it's so difficult for them to get out that they fall out-of-sync when they all tell you that they're in love with you — some "madly", some "always have been," some "deeply." It's a cacophony of affection. What do I do?

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Edit: Fixed tenses and changed from second- to first-person.