art insecurity clubhouse

spent the last couple days mulling over that post
sorry plaid, i kept reading over it and legitimately couldn't figure out what the point you were trying to make was
even though it's very clearly "don't be mad that you're having a tough time, just keep working through it"

i don't know, it's hard. "i'm not my art and i can't measure my worth by it" but my art skills are easily one of the most okay things about me. at least, when i think about it, they're the only thing i truly like about myself. i understand and agree with the sort of "inherent worth as a living human" thing but i have a really hard time applying it to myself and i kinda feel like i don't deserve anything, unless i work for it, either through a job i don't have or through my art

all i want to do is draw and eventually make games and music. now i'm in a state where i'm doing very little of any of those things and it's frustrating, because i'm not doing anything ELSE with all this time i have

btw "Everything is connections, tbh" is very, very uncomforting. i'm not good at making connections with other artists, and i've recently built up a strong habit of avoiding artists who interact at all with a certain small handful of artists i don't like for varying reasons. and then i avoid artists who interact with those OTHER artists who interact with the people i don't like, and it's just a spreading web of people i don't want to even try to connect to. the corkboard in this picture:

is only a joke in that i don't physically have a corkboard dedicated to this. i essentially have one mentally though. please stop me

sorry to reply so negatively, i know you're trying to help