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In which MrGuy ruins the space-time continuum:

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Spoiler(5:02:16 PM) The topic for #eagletime is: Welcome to the Ixcalibur Memorial Zombie Shelter oh and sometimes eagles
(5:02:25 PM) You are now known as waterbottles
(5:02:31 PM) MrGuy: Hi bottles
(5:07:15 PM) FakeImpostor [~fakeimpos@mobile-166-147-110-086.mycingular.net] entered the room.
(5:20:30 PM) Godbot [~Godbot@132.198.39.255] entered the room.
(5:21:28 PM) waterbottles: Hey MrGuy from 20 minutes ago!
(5:21:39 PM) MrGuy: HOW ARE THINGS IN THE FUTURE
(5:21:45 PM) waterbottles: Sigh...
(5:21:49 PM) waterbottles: Don't get me started.
(5:21:57 PM) MrGuy: Awwww, sorry to hear it.
(5:22:06 PM) waterbottles: First of all, most humans have evolved into pure energy beings.
(5:22:13 PM) waterbottles: The rest of us are ridiculed.
(5:22:18 PM) waterbottles: And made to be slaves.
(5:22:23 PM) Jacquerel: look you just can't understand
(5:22:29 PM) MrGuy: Am I one, bottles?
(5:22:34 PM) Jacquerel: being pure energy is fucking awesome
(5:22:34 PM) waterbottles: Actually, I probably don't have much time here until I'm caught.
(5:22:37 PM) MrGuy: I'll make a note to acquire you and give you white collar work.
(5:22:48 PM) Jacquerel: you don't know what you're missing, you /deserve/ our ridicule
(5:22:55 PM) Godbot left the room (quit: Client Quit).
(5:22:58 PM) waterbottles: I haven't been able to get ahold of Eagletime, just only you peeps from 20 mins ago.
(5:23:09 PM) MrGuy: Shame.
(5:23:18 PM) waterbottles: Thanks, Jacquerel.
(5:23:25 PM) waterbottles: It's racism like this I'm fighting against.
(5:23:32 PM) MrGuy: Wow Jac I thought you guys were pure energy
(5:23:34 PM) MrGuy: not pure douchebags
(5:23:37 PM) Jacquerel: it's not racism it's just pest control
(5:23:46 PM) waterbottles: Wow.
(5:24:02 PM) waterbottles: I'd expect chat like that from Slorange or Schazer, but you?
(5:24:10 PM) waterbottles: (Maybe even Fogel too).
(5:24:12 PM) waterbottles: No, not you.
(5:24:17 PM) Jacquerel: except instead of killing you we just tell everyone that you're awful
(5:24:18 PM) waterbottles: For shame.
(5:24:21 PM) Jacquerel: you should be grateful really
(5:24:28 PM) g0m: waterbottles called you racists slorange and dragonfogel
(5:24:36 PM) Papillon: tattletale
(5:24:37 PM) waterbottles: I'd rather die than have my freedom stolen from me!
(5:24:47 PM) MrGuy: Oh, well
(5:24:47 PM) Jacquerel: if being made of pure energy is wrong I don't want to be right
(5:24:49 PM) MrGuy: That can be arranged
(5:24:54 PM) ***MrGuy kills bottles from twenty minutes ago,
(5:24:56 PM) MrGuy: * ago.
(5:24:59 PM) g0m: tattling is cool and hip
(5:25:05 PM) waterbottles: SHIT!
(5:25:08 PM) Jacquerel: damn it Guy what are you doing
(5:25:13 PM) waterbottles: YOU'RE CAUSING A FUCKING TIME PARADOX!
(5:25:19 PM) Jacquerel: you'll collapse the waveform or some sciency nonsense like that!
(5:25:33 PM) MrGuy: Well obviously this will prevent energy beings from happening!
(5:25:33 PM) ***waterbottles disappears into nothing
(5:25:36 PM) MrGuy: Or destroy the world
(5:25:37 PM) MrGuy: whichever
(5:25:56 PM) You are now known as waterbottlesfrom20minago
(5:26:00 PM) waterbottlesfrom20minago: Hey guys, what's up?
(5:26:09 PM) ***MrGuy PEW PEW
(5:26:18 PM) waterbottlesfrom20minago: OH SHIT!
(5:26:28 PM) ***waterbottlesfrom20minago bleeds to death
(5:26:37 PM) You are now known as waterbottlesghost
(5:26:38 PM) MrGuy: hooray for saving the world
(5:27:03 PM) FakeImpostor left the room (quit: Quit: Colloquy for iPad - https://colloquy.mobi).
(5:27:09 PM) waterbottlesghost: (why did you kill me?)
(5:27:21 PM) waterbottlesghost: (all I said was "Hey")
(5:27:31 PM) DragonFogel: If only we were beings of pure energy, this terrible tragedy would never have happened.
(5:27:38 PM) Godbot [~Godbot@132.198.36.163] entered the room.
(5:27:41 PM) DragonFogel: We should figure out how to do that in the next 20 minutes.
(5:27:46 PM) MrGuy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(5:27:56 PM) ***MrGuy shoots Fogel from five minutes in the past
(5:27:59 PM) Jacquerel: haha what kind of loser would want to be made of pure energy
(5:28:06 PM) MrGuy: or... 25 minutes?
(5:28:08 PM) MrGuy: I'm confused now.
(5:28:17 PM) Godbot: so, uh, guys
(5:28:31 PM) MrGuy: Yeah
(5:28:38 PM) DragonFogel: I think you just shot yourself five minutes before you said anything.
(5:28:43 PM) Godbot: not to alarm anyone but the physics department /might/ have just catapulted the chemistry department into the stratosphere
(5:28:43 PM) waterbottlesghost: You think you can resurrect me, and wipe my memory of this horrible experience?
(5:28:50 PM) Godbot: like, just a little bit
(5:28:55 PM) Godbot: so, fallout shelters?
(5:28:57 PM) Godbot: possibly?
(5:28:58 PM) waterbottlesghost: (when you turn into energy?)
(5:28:59 PM) Godbot: might be a good idea
(5:29:02 PM) Godbot: 'kay, thanks
(5:29:11 PM) Godbot: y'know I mean I'm sure it's nothing, but, just to be sure
(5:29:18 PM) DragonFogel: Well, probably. But we might not be able to evolve a ressurrected person into pure energy.
(5:29:27 PM) waterbottlesghost: (I'll take that chance)
(5:29:29 PM) Godbot: oh, what? no, never
(5:29:34 PM) Godbot: that can't happen
(5:29:36 PM) waterbottlesghost: (I'll be eternally grateful)
(5:29:51 PM) waterbottlesghost: (And promise not to rebel or be resentful in anyway)
(5:31:04 PM) MrGuy: WAIT NO.
(5:31:06 PM) MrGuy: I finally got this.
(5:31:25 PM) ***MrGuy goes back in time to when hominids first began appearing and exterminates them.
(5:32:27 PM) You are now known as waterbottles
(5:32:35 PM) waterbottles: Fuck those energy beings.
(5:32:48 PM) DragonFogel is now known as DinosaurFogel
(5:32:51 PM) waterbottles: I need to get in contact with peeps and warn them how terrible these peeps are.
(5:33:04 PM) MrGuy is now known as RaptorGuy
(5:33:11 PM) RaptorGuy: Sup, Fogel.
(5:33:23 PM) ***DinosaurFogel devours Guy messily.
(5:33:25 PM) Godbot is now known as Sunbot
(5:33:27 PM) Sunbot is now known as Sunrock
(5:33:38 PM) Sanzh [Mibbit@mask220.pugetsound.edu] entered the room.
(5:33:46 PM) ***RaptorGuy claws out Fogel's stomach with the last of his strength.
(5:34:26 PM) ***DinosaurFogel falls over and lands on Waterbottles, crushing her to death.
(5:34:35 PM) You are now known as waterbottlesghost
(5:34:43 PM) waterbottlesghost: (Son of a bitch, not again!)
(5:34:59 PM) RaptorGuy is now known as MrGhost
(5:35:07 PM) MrGhost: (It's okay, Fogel and I are dead too )
(5:35:10 PM) DinosaurFogel is now known as GhostFogel
(5:35:10 PM) You are now known as ghostbottles
(5:35:30 PM) Papillon is now known as Phantillon
(5:35:32 PM) GhostFogel: Well, now they're probably going to evolve into energy dinosaurs and ressurect us without our memories.
(5:35:37 PM) ghostbottles: (If you guys were alive, I'd haunt the f out of you)
(5:36:10 PM) g0m: so what's going on in this channel
(5:36:17 PM) MrGhost: We're all fossil fuel.
(5:36:22 PM) g0m: cool beans
(5:36:42 PM) GhostFogel: g0m, are you an energy dinosaur now?
(5:36:44 PM) ghostbottles: (MrGuy, this is what happens when you cause a time paradox!)
(5:36:57 PM) MrGhost: Guys I am
(5:36:58 PM) MrGhost: ridicks hungry
(5:37:01 PM) MrGhost: what the shit
(5:37:02 PM) Sunrock: welp
(5:37:06 PM) Sunrock: must suck being mortal, huh
(5:37:06 PM) g0m: make some chili
(5:37:08 PM) MrGhost: I eat and then it's like
(5:37:15 PM) Sunrock: don't have to deal with that now that I'm a being of pure energy and stuff
(5:37:16 PM) ghostbottles: (You shouldn't be; you're dead)
(5:37:18 PM) MrGhost: nope, still hungry
(5:37:26 PM) MrGhost: g0m I don't have chili components
(5:37:56 PM) g0m: I do
(5:37:57 PM) ghostbottles: (Stop rubbing it in, Sunrock / dumb ol' Godbot)
(5:37:59 PM) g0m: I'll lend you some
(5:38:02 PM) Sunrock: SO HEY
(5:38:05 PM) Sunrock: THE LAND OF THE LIVING
(5:38:07 PM) whoosh left the room (quit: Quit: Leaving.).
(5:38:09 PM) Sunrock: HOW'S BEING DEAD WORKING OUT FOR YOU
(5:38:30 PM) ghostbottles: (IT'S PRETTY GREAT WISH YOU WERE HERE)
(5:38:36 PM) GhostFogel: It's okay, except for these energy beings who keep rubbing it in our faces that we're dead and not energy beings.
(5:38:41 PM) GhostFogel: Man, those guys are jerks.
(5:38:44 PM) MrGhost: Well.
(5:38:45 PM) MrGhost: We're ghosts.
(5:38:49 PM) MrGhost: That's KIND OF like being energy beings.
(5:38:54 PM) MrGhost: In fact, we're BETTER than them!
(5:39:01 PM) ghostbottles: (By god, you're right!)
(5:39:03 PM) MrGhost: We can still manipulate non-electrical objects.
(5:39:06 PM) MrGhost: Let's subjugate those fuckers!
(5:39:15 PM) Sunrock: aw, what?
(5:39:17 PM) ghostbottles: (Wooooo!)
(5:39:24 PM) Sunrock: man, I exist on levels you don't even have comprehension of
(5:39:29 PM) Sunrock: and also levels where I'm a rock
(5:39:31 PM) Phantillon: why are we dead
(5:39:32 PM) ghostbottles: (Memo: Energy beings suck)
(5:39:33 PM) SolarAway is now known as Solaris
(5:39:38 PM) ***MrGhost picks up Sunrock and throws him into a lake
(5:39:42 PM) Solaris is now known as Writelaris
(5:39:43 PM) Sunrock: aw man no don't
(5:39:57 PM) MrGhost: poltergeist power
(5:40:01 PM) Sunrock: this sucks
(5:40:06 PM) ghostbottles: (High five!!)
(5:40:30 PM) ***GhostFogel moves some furniture around and arranges it into letters that spell out "ENERGY BEINGS ARE SUPER LAME-O"
(5:41:08 PM) Sanzh: whuh
(5:41:46 PM) ghostbottles: (I guess you can haunt energy beings!)
(5:41:52 PM) ghostbottles: (Sweet)
(5:42:12 PM) GhostFogel: Sanzh, mucking around with the timestream has created a world where ghosts and energy beings are at war and also dinosaurs.
(5:42:13 PM) Sunrock: sweet? you still have a concept of taste, huh?
(5:42:15 PM) Sunrock: that's /cute/.
(5:42:44 PM) GhostFogel: It's up to you as the last remnant of the old timeline to decide which of us will be victorious (psst, pick the ghosts).
(5:42:54 PM) Sanzh: Aw what
(5:42:59 PM) Sanzh: why do I have to decide
(5:43:02 PM) MrGhost: Yeah, Sunrock
(5:43:02 PM) GhostFogel: And you DEFINITELY shouldn't ignore both sides and try to find a way to restore the original timeline.
(5:43:10 PM) MrGhost: It sure must be great never having ice cream or bacon anymore.
(5:43:14 PM) MrGhost: Or cheese, for that matter!
(5:43:20 PM) ***MrGhost eats some DELICIOUS ICE CREAM.
(5:43:35 PM) Dragonpaul [Mibbit@d4-50-22-33.try.wideopenwest.com] entered the room.
(5:43:36 PM) Sunrock: man, whatever
(5:43:45 PM) MrGhost: Also worth noting:
(5:43:47 PM) Sunrock: manipulated probability to explode hydrogen in /space/ lately
(5:43:49 PM) Sunrock: I DON'T THINK SO
(5:43:49 PM) MrGhost: Energy beings can't have sex
(5:44:02 PM) Sanzh: Neither can ghosts
(5:44:03 PM) Sunrock: guy
(5:44:07 PM) MrGhost: WE TOTALLY CAN.
(5:44:07 PM) Sunrock: guy, listen
(5:44:08 PM) Sunrock: it is like having sex with space all the time
(5:44:14 PM) Sunrock: all the time, forever
(5:44:15 PM) MrGhost: space is a terrible lover.
(5:44:30 PM) Sunrock: man, whatever! you're dead!
(5:44:39 PM) MrGhost: Yeah, and that means I'm eternal
(5:44:42 PM) MrGhost: Tell me, Godbot
(5:44:42 PM) Sunrock: that's, like, necrophilia
(5:44:57 PM) MrGhost: I notice you luminesce
(5:45:14 PM) MrGhost: What happens when you're entirely converted into electromagnetic radiation huh
(5:45:15 PM) MrGhost: then what
(5:45:17 PM) MrGhost: no more sunrock
(5:45:18 PM) MrGhost: just light
(5:45:24 PM) Sunrock: and then I BE AMAZING FOREVER
(5:45:34 PM) Sunrock: you wouldn't understand
(5:45:36 PM) MrGhost: yeah, until you hit a black hole
(5:45:43 PM) MrGhost: ghosts don't need to worry about black holes
(5:45:45 PM) Sunrock: well then you die too!
(5:45:49 PM) ghostbottles: Ghosts can travel faster than light.
(5:45:51 PM) MrGhost: We're already dead, dummy~
(5:45:52 PM) MrGhost: Also that!
(5:45:56 PM) ghostbottles: Unlike lame ol' energy beings.
(5:46:03 PM) Sunrock: they actually can't, don't know where you got that from
(5:46:04 PM) GhostFogel: Hey, I bet I can possess a black hole!
(5:46:09 PM) ghostbottles: I'm pretty sure that's a fact I didn't just make up.
(5:46:09 PM) GhostFogel is now known as BlackHoleFogel
(5:46:15 PM) BlackHoleFogel: Oh man, this is totally sweet.
(5:46:23 PM) ghostbottles: Holy shit, get away from us!
(5:46:25 PM) ***MrGhost possesses a neutron star why not
(5:46:26 PM) Jacquerel: nothing real can move faster than the speed of light but everyone knows ghosts don't exist so they can
(5:46:27 PM) soundlyParanoid: oh no
(5:46:29 PM) Sunrock: isn't it, now?
(5:46:29 PM) MrGhost is now known as MrNeutronStar
(5:46:31 PM) ghostbottles: Get the energy beings!
(5:46:38 PM) BlackHoleFogel: Do you guys even realize how much mass this thing has?
(5:46:42 PM) Sunrock: pretty much nothing better than being BEINGS OF PURE ENERGY, just sayin'
(5:46:47 PM) BlackHoleFogel: It's like driving a billion tanks.
(5:46:56 PM) Sunrock: ghostbottles you might wanna get in on this
(5:46:58 PM) Sunrock: not that you're good enough
(5:47:05 PM) ghostbottles: Just make sure not to get us by accident.
(5:47:07 PM) Sunrock: since apparently you went and died
(5:47:08 PM) BlackHoleFogel: Sunrock, I am DRIVING A BLACK HOLE here.
(5:47:10 PM) Sunrock: I mean, who /does/ that
(5:47:16 PM) Sunrock: I KNOW, RIGHT
(5:47:21 PM) BlackHoleFogel: That is WAY more awesome than anything you could be doing.
(5:47:29 PM) MrNeutronStar is now known as MrBlackHole
(5:47:33 PM) MrBlackHole: fuck
(5:47:34 PM) You are now known as ghostssupermassivebottleshole
(5:47:34 PM) Sunrock: I'm orbiting like a fuckton of planets
(5:47:41 PM) MrBlackHole: some jerk added too much mass to me and I collapsed under my own weight
(5:47:48 PM) Sanzh is now known as qwubble
(5:47:52 PM) qwubble: sup
(5:47:55 PM) Sunrock: OH SHIT
(5:47:58 PM) Jacquerel: you're orbiting the planets?
(5:48:01 PM) You are now known as ghostsupermassiveblackholebott
(5:48:09 PM) Jacquerel: I guess it helps to mix things up once in a while
(5:48:14 PM) soundlyParanoid: OH GOD
(5:48:14 PM) MrBlackHole: guys
(5:48:15 PM) MrBlackHole: let's collide
(5:48:16 PM) Sunrock: jac why do you talk
(5:48:28 PM) MrBlackHole: let's become one huge black hole and put all the stuff around us into bottles' galaxy
(5:48:36 PM) qwubble: Jacquerel get in my lasagnaverse.
(5:48:46 PM) ghostsupermassiveblackholebott: LET'S DO THIS
(5:48:49 PM) soundlyParanoid is now known as supermassiveParanoid
(5:49:02 PM) Jacquerel: I love talking
(5:49:06 PM) supermassiveParanoid: WHAT IN THE HELL
(5:49:11 PM) You are now known as SUPERMASSIVEBOTTLES
(5:49:21 PM) MrBlackHole is now known as MrGuy
(5:49:35 PM) Jacquerel: there is no better sound than that of my own voice
(5:49:36 PM) MrGuy: Oh, hey, I came out of a wormhole into a universe without dumb ghosts and energy beings.
(5:49:37 PM) MrGuy: Phew!
(5:49:49 PM) ***supermassiveParanoid CRUSHES PUNY MRGUY MAN
(5:49:55 PM) qwubble is now known as Sanzh
(5:49:58 PM) BlackHoleFogel is now known as DragonFogel
(5:50:02 PM) SUPERMASSIVEBOTTLES: I swear, if you fuck up this universe too, next PAX I see you at I'm going to beat you up.
(5:50:07 PM) supermassiveParanoid is now known as soundlyParanoid
(5:50:08 PM) You are now known as waterbottles
(5:50:11 PM) Pharmacy [Mibbit@college9-20-204.resnet.ucsc.edu] entered the room.
(5:50:18 PM) Sunrock is now known as Godbot
(5:50:25 PM) waterbottles: Racism is over!
(5:50:31 PM) MrGuy: So it WILL be annual? :D
(5:50:32 PM) Pharmacy: woo
(5:50:32 PM) Pharmacy: wait
(5:50:33 PM) Pharmacy: what
(5:50:41 PM) MrGuy: PAX meetups I mean.
(5:50:50 PM) waterbottles: Yes. There will always be meet ups at PAX.
(5:51:03 PM) waterbottles: There were last year, there was this year, there will forever be.
(5:51:13 PM) MrGuy: There was one last year? Huh.
(5:51:17 PM) MrGuy: I NEVER KNEW.
(5:51:25 PM) waterbottles: Pretend I used proper consistent grammar there.
(5:51:48 PM) waterbottles: Yes, Pharmacy, racism is over.
(5:51:56 PM) waterbottles: There was no context ever.
(5:52:39 PM) Jacquerel: we showed those energy being bastards what for
(5:52:57 PM) waterbottles: If I remember correctly, you were on their side!
(5:53:19 PM) waterbottles: You were the most racist of all!
(5:53:23 PM) Jacquerel: why would I want to be an energy being?
(5:53:26 PM) Jacquerel: those guys suck
(5:56:13 PM) Godbot left the room (quit: Quit: Godbot).
(5:56:47 PM) waterbottles: (5:22:34 PM) Jacquerel: being pure energy is fucking awesome
(5:56:47 PM) waterbottles: (5:23:37 PM) Jacquerel: it's not racism it's just pest control
(5:57:07 PM) Jacquerel: That's forged
(5:57:33 PM) waterbottles: Forged like your love for non-energy beings.
(5:57:45 PM) waterbottles: Racist
(5:57:52 PM) Jacquerel: (5:22:34 PM)waterbottles I love energy beings so much and also I don't understand time travel
(5:58:00 PM) Jacquerel: SO CONVINCING
(5:58:28 PM) waterbottles: I WAS IN SLAVERY
(5:58:38 PM) waterbottles: WHICH I SHOULDN'T REMEMBER BECAUSE MY MIND WAS WIPED
(5:58:52 PM) waterbottles: You, Jacquerel, are the forger.
(5:58:59 PM) MrGuy: Magic bagging!
(5:59:02 PM) Jacquerel: or am I?
(5:59:05 PM) ***MrGuy votes to lynch bottles
(5:59:23 PM) Jacquerel: (5:59:34 PM) waterbottles: No, I was the forger and Jacquerel is incredibly handsome
(5:59:50 PM) waterbottles: Hm, well that does partly sound like something I'd say.
(5:59:58 PM) waterbottles: NO WAIT
(6:00:13 PM) waterbottles: Liar!
(6:00:29 PM) Jacquerel: such accusations!
(6:03:43 PM) waterbottles: MrGuy.
(6:03:54 PM) MrGuy: Yes.
(6:04:04 PM) waterbottles: Do you promise not to start anymore time paradoxes in our nice, new, clean universe?
(6:05:10 PM) MrGuy: Sure.
(6:05:29 PM) waterbottles: Thanks!
(6:05:41 PM) waterbottles: I really appreciate it.