The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

I'm in virtually the same position? My depression is so bad that i'm not able to even get a job right now, and if i did get one i suspect i'd be too much of a mess to keep it. Freelance work is really the only way i can make things work and the only thing i'm qualified for is art! (Specifically graphic design, but i'm lookin' for illustration work).

I've wanted to make comics forever and about a year or so back? I decided no fuck it i'm really going to sit down and do this thing. I educated myself on the local comic scene, joined a group (we meet every month or so to draw and eat terrible food) and have been published a few times. Its pretty small time stuff being that i'm from New Zealand, but its a start. Pretty much everyone in the scene here knows of me now and that's pretty amazing and cool, i think?

Because of my depression and probable attention disorder i have real trouble committing to things. Since i was a kid i've barely ever finished anything i've started and it feeds right back into my mental health stuff to make them worse. I've found a few things that have helped, lately: Firstly, you've gotta ignore that grand idea you've been sitting on forever and waiting till you're good enough and make something you don't really care about as practice. I branched off into doing the project i'm working on now by taking the lowest quality art supplies i could manage (literal trash $2 paints watered down into oblivion) and am not bothering erasing scratchy pencil lines under the inks and after a bit of anxiousness it helped me to let go? Making content is far more important than it being polished, i think.

Secondly, making small things. I love making huge long stories that go on forever and i think that's pretty common, but its really nice to make short comics? my published things have been in anthologies so they've had to be short, and after i finish the current 5 pager i'm working on (going into the latest anthology by the aforementioned group) i'm going to try to build up a buffer of small stories for portfolio/other anthology submissions/etc. It's a lot easier to keep your attention for short things, because the payoff is that much sooner.

Anyway do not be afraid to take a break. You're clearly stressing over this and please don't feel guilty for not getting anything done- you deserve to be happy and you are worthwhile even if you don't manage to get everything that you want to do done. Take care of your mental health.

this was really rambly i'm sorry