Vox Mentis

Also; you know he's 13. You don't even need to use the words, just make the argument fit the type of person you're trying to persuade. Hit his weakpoints, so to speak.

Also; you know he's 13. You don't even need to use the words, just make the argument fit the type of person you're trying to persuade. Hit his weakpoints, so to speak.

Fuck no don't do this, he only showed you the word, never the number (which you got because he happens to be the same as Sasha, whose full list you looked at without permission). He's bound to recognise the usual avenues for getting under a 13's skin, and at that point he'll be shutting you out completely.

He has more years' study to hear Vartix and know that's for 220's. He doesn't know that you know he's a 13, and that'll probably cross a line as to how much he's comfortable with you knowing about each other.

Yeah definitely don't abuse his trust - you're not a Jimmy.

The ultimatum's fair though.

(below)

"Before and during the exams, sure, I'll leave you alone. You won't see me at all. I won't bring you slushies, won't say anything to you, won't be a distraction. If you want, I can even wait until I graduate myself to so much as say hello to you. And you know I'll graduate, even if you don't.

But if you mean more than that, if you want me out of your life in all capacities, even after I graduate, not even as friends, not even as pen pals; all you have to do is look me in the eye and say three words, and then tell me to stop loving you. If you can't do that, then I was right; you're a person I want in my life, somehow, and I'll figure something out. But if you can do that, then I was wrong about you in the first place, and I'd be better off without you."

Jeremy sighs. "Elise... using the words is against the rules too. You are better off without me. If you hope to get anywhere in the organization, we can't be attached. It's dangerous for both of us. Just... get out, please. I don't want to see you anymore."

You slam the door on the way out.

~

You have soccer and are in no mood for it. You stand rooted in the defensive half of the field and don't chase. Sasha, on the opposing team, concentrates her attacks on your wing to capitalize on your apathy. Once she runs past while you just stand there, and after she scores, she ruffles you hair.

The next time Sasha pounds towards you, the ball bobbling along in front of you, you decide to put Sasha on the ground. You move to intercept and Sasha's face hardens in a way that tells you to expect the shoulders. A word bubbles to your mind, one of the attention words. Cosugar. That's the word. It'd be enough to kick Sasha in the brain just long enough for you to knock her flat, and you'll use it because you had not used it on Jeremy, even though you could have. Cosugar, bitch. Your head is full of blood. Eat MY shoulders.

You and Sasha collide. By the time you get up, Sasha is jogging back to her hald, doing the fist pump. "Fuuuck," you say, and Sasha laughs.

~

You have to get away for a while, so instead of changing you head for the school gate. You're almost there when you hear footsteps. Jeremy is running after you. "El! Wait!" You don't want to, but some small, stupid part of you thinks maybe he changed his mind. He catches you, breathing fast. He's showered, put on a fresh shirt. His cheeks are pink. "Let's not end things this way."

"What?"

We've been friends for two years. I don't-"

"Gah," you say, as soon as you hear the word friends. You walk.

He trots beside you. "You can't tell anyone." You don't answer. "They will expel you. They've done it before. They'll send you fucking home."

You don't know why you say what you do. You're just so upset with him, the fact he clearly doesn't trust you even after all you've been through, it's hard to think. You just open your mouth and words come out. "Maybe you made me do it. Maybe you took advantage of me, with your words."

He stops. When you reach the gate, he yells, "How dare you!" You flinch, because there's fury in his voice. You keep walking. You're obviously not going to accuse him of anything, can't he tell that? You just want him to feel something. "Come back! Come back here!" You leave school grounds and walk to the other side of the road. You turn to see Jeremy stranded outside the gates, his face red. "You say nothing!"

You say nothing. He steps toward you. You're suddenly reminded of Jimmy back in San Francisco: how he'd been funny and kind, until you pushed him too far. "Stop," you say. Jeremy knows you. He knows your set. He's about to graduate, and he can make you do whatever he wants. "I'm sorry! I won't tell!" He runs at you, his face a rictus of rage. His lips start moving as he runs, forming words.

What do you do?