RE: Hebrews 10:31
02-16-2015, 11:19 PM
Entry the fourth, February 16.
Oh god hunting down the Portfolio is going to take an entire other quest I can't deal with that while still engaged in coffee warfare. Regardless, these are excellent points. World Government isn't going to play nice when it's on the ropes, why should I? I've tasked one of my minions to find the ancient artifact of deceit so hopefully by the end of this we'll know where to look.
I'll admit I wasn't too sure about this, since again both franchises serve tea as well as coffee. Regardless, I did as you suggested and it turned out to be the perfect maneuver. Apparently in their rush to surround us, bot Tim Hortons and Starbucks had forgotten to offer the option along their siege lines, drawing even more customers to us. They retreated to restock, which gave us the chance to counterattack.
No time to wait for your report, Minister Sai. We had to take the window given by Minister AgentBlue's plan to strike. I'm pleased to say that I myself led the daring raid on the now confused Starbucks line, capturing many an empty cup and distributing them amongst the dirtiest and smelliest I could find, and sent them to every Starbucks location nearby. They were all neutralized fairly efficiently by the chain's defences, but not before the damage was done. Starbucks' forces are in a full rout.
Unfortunately, because the minions I recruited are garbage our coffee warehouse was overrun while I led the attack. I can already smell the bitter smell of timbits and stale doughnuts as they are now shipped into what was once our proud (and only) location. However, even with this loss Tim Hortons is interested in negotiating. With their impromptu ally and bitter rival now heavily weakened and He Brews™ fast becoming a distant memory they'd rather press their advantage than risk falling victim to more of my clever schemes. Should we accept this white peace and move on to new objectives, or should we try and press demands and continue to attack if they're not met (or maybe just attack anyways)?
(02-16-2015, 11:34 AM)Schazer Wrote: »You may respond by conferring upon me the additional Portfolio of Strategic Lies. If you'd been planning to take over the world with open-palmed sincerity, you'd just go and knock on the World Government's door and ask for it.
Oh god hunting down the Portfolio is going to take an entire other quest I can't deal with that while still engaged in coffee warfare. Regardless, these are excellent points. World Government isn't going to play nice when it's on the ropes, why should I? I've tasked one of my minions to find the ancient artifact of deceit so hopefully by the end of this we'll know where to look.
(02-16-2015, 11:41 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »You should switch to tea.
I'll admit I wasn't too sure about this, since again both franchises serve tea as well as coffee. Regardless, I did as you suggested and it turned out to be the perfect maneuver. Apparently in their rush to surround us, bot Tim Hortons and Starbucks had forgotten to offer the option along their siege lines, drawing even more customers to us. They retreated to restock, which gave us the chance to counterattack.
(02-16-2015, 06:30 PM)Sai Wrote: »Ok, so Starbucks is easy to take on - they sell overpriced beverages marketed as an item of convenience and status. If you attack their appearance, they will be forced to withdraw to finance their marketing and brand reinforcement campaigns. Send the smelliest of your minions to Starbucks, and ensure that they loiter while displaying their drinks in public places. Give empty Starbucks cups to the homeless. I will be able to conduct the pyromantic rituals to determine your success rate in around seven hours.
Tim Hortons is a cultural icon with near universal appeal. I suggest engaging them diplomatically.
No time to wait for your report, Minister Sai. We had to take the window given by Minister AgentBlue's plan to strike. I'm pleased to say that I myself led the daring raid on the now confused Starbucks line, capturing many an empty cup and distributing them amongst the dirtiest and smelliest I could find, and sent them to every Starbucks location nearby. They were all neutralized fairly efficiently by the chain's defences, but not before the damage was done. Starbucks' forces are in a full rout.
Unfortunately, because the minions I recruited are garbage our coffee warehouse was overrun while I led the attack. I can already smell the bitter smell of timbits and stale doughnuts as they are now shipped into what was once our proud (and only) location. However, even with this loss Tim Hortons is interested in negotiating. With their impromptu ally and bitter rival now heavily weakened and He Brews™ fast becoming a distant memory they'd rather press their advantage than risk falling victim to more of my clever schemes. Should we accept this white peace and move on to new objectives, or should we try and press demands and continue to attack if they're not met (or maybe just attack anyways)?