Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Shank: Prime seems like a prime choice at this point

I don't get it :c

Shank: Prime seems like a prime choice at this point

I don't get it :c

>: Was there a joke in there?

♪_Prime Whale Jazz_♪

Prime Intellect - 13 + 7 (yd12k, Palamedes, Truegreen, Phish, Schazer, LegendaryQ, Scoffles, makerofthegames, Sai, Not The Author, AgentBlue, bigro, Plaid, Granolaman, Chwoka, Seedy, Demonsul, speedchuck, beruru, Pharas)
Granolaman - 4 (TehPilot, Crowstone, Gnauga, antisequitur)
Solaris - 1 (konec0)
speedchuck - 1 (Whimbrel)
amosmyn - 1 (Sruixan)
"The other Prime" - 1 (cyber95)
"TwoPrimes" - 1 (amosmyn)

Abstaining - 17 (Solaris, Akumu, Sanzh, Prime Intellect, Dalmationer, x1372, Breadpocalypse, Mikeee, Loather, Pharmacy, Coldblooded, SupahKiven, anacreon, Deviant One, Niall, Dragon Fogel, Acionyx)

With 46 bitches alive it takes 24 bitches to groupshank. Day Three ends in ~40 hours at 6:00 PM EST on Friday, August 1st.

Phase Two of WHALE DUEL: BATTLE ROYALE: THE ADVENTURE ends in 15 hours.

If you have more than two Whale Facts to submit, feel free to post them - the only restriction is that no one player will have more than 4 of their facts used.

Fine I guess I'll vote to Shank: Prime uh, Prime.

Oh yeah Shank Prime Intellect (Steak).

Shank: Prime

I think Prime and TwoPrimes are lifelinked or something so whateverrrr

Shank Prime

Why lynch two people in one day when we can lynch three?

(the following is Dini-approved)

The very instant I emerge from the portal, I promise you, amos darling, that I will force my blade inside you.

...and that's why you should have given me that Blowjob...

I can be such a tease sometimes. ;) ;)
*takes the Blowjob*

Sruix baby, if you win you can have all the Blowjobs you want. <3
A big, stong man with flowing gold locks riding off into battle on the back of a whale really gets me going <3 <3

Show Content

SpoilerSruix I swear if you go anywhere near me with your blade without my consent I will come back from the depths of hell and strike you down for sexual harassment.

it seems that some of us are having a ... whale of a time.

But I can't disagree - let's Group Shank Prime

And as much as I'd like to continue this rhyme

nah.

Because of how incredible the WHALE BATTLE is and definitely not because I am woefully short on time at the moment PHASE 2 IS EXTENDED BY 24 HOURS (and so is Day 3).

Prime Intellect - 17 + 8 (yd12k, Palamedes, Truegreen, Phish, Schazer, LegendaryQ, Scoffles, makerofthegames, Sai, Not The Author, AgentBlue, bigro, Plaid, Granolaman, Chwoka, Seedy, Demonsul, speedchuck, beruru, Pharas, cyber95, Pharmacy, amosmyn, Coldblooded, x1372)
Granolaman - 4 (TehPilot, Crowstone, Gnauga, antisequitur)
Solaris - 1 (konec0)
speedchuck - 1 (Whimbrel)
amosmyn - 1 (Sruixan)

Abstaining - 14 (Solaris, Akumu, Sanzh, Prime Intellect, Dalmationer, Breadpocalypse, Mikeee, Loather, SupahKiven, anacreon, Deviant One, Niall, Dragon Fogel, Acionyx)

With 46 bitches alive it takes 24 bitches to groupshank. Day Three ends in ~48 hours at 6:00 PM EST on Saturday, August 2nd.

Phase Two of WHALE DUEL: BATTLE ROYALE: THE ADVENTURE ends in 22 hours.

LET'S SHANK PRIME WITHOUT THE WHALE BATTLERS!

Mr. Pidge wishes for a jolly good show from the competetors of this Whale Battle Royale. Pray you don't disappoint him.

Schwankily shanking Prime

BEHOLD. MY MIGHTY MACHINE HAS BEEN MODIFIED....
THAT IT MAY BEHOLD ALL THE MAJESTY OF CYBERSPACE
ARE YOU READY
TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN...?

is that... a narwhal with bunny ears?

nah, it's just an upside down narwhal. that's not as cute

I'll add bunny ears tonight.

i like your mech

you should put the bunny ears on morgan freeman too

wait i mean I'LL ADD BUNNY EARS TONIGHT SORRY.

What a load of crap, Niall mix me something that will make all these losers make sense to me.

OK, but this may have a potential side effect of making everything else unintelligible. Mix: Universal Translator.

Universal Translator

30ml Ouzo
30ml Pisko
30ml Sake
30ml Bénédictine
30ml Bartender's Secret
1 Egg White
45ml Lemon Juice
45ml Simple Syrup
Bitters

Shake all ingredients except the Bitters in a shaker with ice. Strain into a Lowball Glass and top with a dash of bitters. Follow with a Black Sambuca chaser.

I like the mech.

THANKS ME TOO.
IS THE BARTENDER'S SECRET MASHED BABEL FISH COS THAT'S TERRIBLE.

Night Three: Porpoiseful Delays

As suddenly as it closed, the WHALE PORTAL tears through the fabric of space-time to reappear.

Pharmacy, Dragon Fogel, Sruixan, Scoffles, Granolaman, Palamedes, Truegreen, Schazer, yd12k, and Seedy all tumble out, sporting a collection of weaponry and trinkets only rivaled by their stunning assortment of injuries. The clamour of reporters off the shore is deafening, their whale calls demanding the contestant's immediate presence.

The contestants, battle-hardened and still composing their thoughts, have more urgent business to attend to. After dispatching their METHOD ACTOR IMPERSONATORS in signature fashion (i.e. shanking them to death), all but Dragon Fogel whip out their shanks, murder in their eyes. With the veteran's arrival the crowd has been whipped into a frenzy even speechuck cannot calm, and eyes fall on the day's second unlucky victim: Prime Intellect. He's surrounded in a flash, and the shanks are about to start sinking in when a shout familiar to most of the room by now interrupts them.

Of course Sruixan wasn't going to shank Prime Intellect. That's the sheeple shank. No, he was in mortal combat with none other than amosmyn's Mr. Pidge.

Moments after all eyes landed on him he slew the bird with one mighty stab, leaving amosmyn distraught on the bar floor.

Amosmyn has been DAYSHANKED (and survived)!

With an imperious nod, Sruixan then sanctions the death of Prime Intellect, a task the crowd attends to with relish.

Prime Intellect was an UNTRACEABLE CRIMINAL SHANKER.

In addition to regular shanker powers, each night he could HIDE behind another player. Anyone attempting to shank him would be UNABLE TO FIND HIM - but if the person he hid behind was killed, he would be the target of any further shanks aimed at them that night.

He would have won when he was the last player standing.

With the day's work complete, speedchuck steps off the stage, ending the JAZZ AGE at the Vista Paolo. For his stellar performance the crowd decides to award him a MAIL PACKAGE they found sitting by the entrance of the bar.

The whale battlers retreat to their PRESS CONFERENCE PREPARATION YACHTS, generously donated by the Vista Paolo's yacht club following a short and brutal WHALE INVASION. The press conference is scheduled to begin at dawn the following day, and each competitor is afforded the HIGHEST WHALE SECURITY for their noble participation in the battle. The Narwhalfare correspondents can hardly contain their excitement; it seems Vista Paolo's residents won't be getting much sleep should WHALE NOISES disturb them.

The rest of the shankers return to their quarters, no doubt to prepare for another hectic night.

--------------------------------------

WHALE BATTLE PHASE TWO COMPLETE

Phase Three will begin in 24 HOURS, at 4:00 PM EST on Saturday, August 2nd. Within this time limit anyone wishing to submit more WHALE FACTS may still do so, once it has passed no more will be accepted.

In ~24 hours the Whale Competitors will receive their apportioned FACTS and have until the start of Day 4 (likely ~120 hours) to PREPARE THEIR PORPOGANDA, though this deadline may still be extended if it proves necessary.

All Whale Competitors CANNOT DIE during this night. They can still lose any vests/other protective abilities they may have.

More details in ~24 hours/gladly provided upon request.

---------------------------------------

Night Three has started! Please submit your actions by 4:00 PM EST on Monday, August 4th (in 72 hours!).

Livelist (45/71)

1. Schazer
2. Solaris
3. Sai
4. Not The Author
5. Akumu
6. AgentBlue
7. Seedy
8. Crowstone
9. SupahKiven
10. Palamedes
11. Pharmacy
12. Granolaman
13. Coldblooded
14. TehPilot
15. anacreon
16. cyber95
17. Niall
18. makerofthegames
19. antisequitur
20. amosmyn
21. Deviant One
22. Sanzh
23. Pharas
24. Phish
25. konec0
26. yd12k
27. Dragon Fogel
28. Gnauga
29. Whimbrel
30. LegendaryQ
31. Chwoka
32. bigro
33. Dalmationer
34. Sruixan
35. x1372
36. Breadpocalypse
37. beruru
38. Scoffles
39. Acionyx
40. Plaid
41. speedchuck
42. Mikeee
43. Truegreen
44. Loather
45. Demonsul

♪_Every Drink Must Go_♪

Prime Intellect - 26 (yd12k, Palamedes, Truegreen, Phish, Schazer, LegendaryQ, Scoffles, makerofthegames, Sai, Not The Author, AgentBlue, bigro, Plaid, Granolaman, Chwoka, Seedy, Demonsul, speedchuck, beruru, Pharas, cyber95, Pharmacy, amosmyn, Coldblooded, x1372, Breadpocalypse)
Granolaman - 4 (TehPilot, Crowstone, Gnauga, antisequitur)
Solaris - 1 (konec0)
speedchuck - 1 (Whimbrel)
amosmyn - 1 (Sruixan)

Abstaining - 13 (Solaris, Akumu, Sanzh, Prime Intellect, Dalmationer, Mikeee, Loather, SupahKiven, anacreon, Deviant One, Niall, Dragon Fogel, Acionyx)

Phase Three: Porpoganda Preparations

The whale battlers sit in their respective PRESS YACHTS, formulating their plans of attack. In true anime fashion, the WHALE DIMENSION’s space-time continuum was divorced from that of the ‘real’ world. The WHALE DUEL had raged for more than a year before each of them had triumphed in their own way, and there had been heroics, tragedies and despicable betrayals aplenty over those longs months.

The question facing each battler was how best to portray them to show off their inevitable victory - after deciding which ones to use, and which to omit.

Each contestant also had sources inside the NARWHALFARE Correspondent’s Office, and soon facts from the Duel they could consider ‘verified’ flowed in, allowing a nuanced approach to their MEDIA BLITZKRIEG. Make no mistake, this would a bloody press conference indeed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PHASE THREE GUIDELINES

Each of you WHALE BATTLERS will soon receive a menagerie of WHALEFACTS. Some may be similar; others will only be available to a single whale battler.

It is up to you how you decide to interpret and use these facts; you may slice and dice them however you want to in order to create the most effective PORPOGANDA. You can use as many or as few as you want, or request your PRESS SOURCES provide some other facts, though only to a certain extent. Remember that the NARWHALFARE Correspondents will likely be more impressed if you rely on more than just one or two FACTS to make your case – but cramming in too many disparate facts poorly may just weaken your propaganda efforts.

Most of the facts you receive will involve you specifically; should you require some concerning specific other whale-battlers you’ll have to request it.

Your PORPOGANDA can take any form—illustrative, musical, photographic, literary, anything else—the only requirement is that it is creative, incorporates the facts you received in some way, and somehow depicts your glorious ultimate victory in the WHALE DUEL.

Should you have any questions do not hesitate to ask in your Quicktopic.

You have until sometime after the start of Day 4 (WHO KNOWS) to PREPARE YOUR PORPOGANDA, though this deadline may still be extended should it prove necessary.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Night Three has still started! Please submit your actions by 4:00 PM EST on Monday, August 4th (in 48 hours!).

Daystart (finally) rolling in sometime in the next 24 hours, heads up, keep an eye on yer QTs.