A Doomed Pilgrim in the Ruins of the Future

GAME #2:

I'm a warrior seeking peace and an end to bloodshed. I'm on pilgrimage to the Temple To No Gods in the distant City of Gulls. My pilgrimage has brought me to the Desert of Spires, inhabited by the encamped army of a king who has sworn vengeance upon me. My goal is to pass safely through and continue my pilgrimage.

You, my friends online, play the world. Your goal is to see me to my doom, instead of safely on my way. You're allowed only to directly answer my direct questions, though, so you might not be able to do it.

The Rules:
1. Only answer my questions.
2. If you don't already know the answer, make something up.
3. Keep your answers short.
4. If your answer's disruptive, I'm allowed to ignore it.
5. Otherwise, I have to go with the first answer somebody gives. I'll quote it at the top of my next post.
6. You may subscribe to this thread if you like. Please use the sentence "no gods watch over you" to do so.

The desert stretches around me, punctured by a forest of sharp and craggy points of towering rock. I've been scuttling from spire to spire, resting in their shade, desperate to avoid the intense, withering heat that pours down from above and seeps up from the baking sands below.
I have wealth hidden in my clothing and a crossing and criscrossing of scars.
As I stop under a spire to take a sip from my canteen, something warns me of approaching danger. What warns me? Anyone should answer.

The unmistakable taste of poison.

The unmistakable taste of poison.

I spit the water from my mouth, stunned and afraid. How is this possible, I wonder? It hasn't left my possession since I filled it!
I examine the container's surface. Is anything amiss?
Anyone should answer.

It's covered with spiders. Giggling spiders, laughing at you.

There is nothing in the container's surface. But as you look at the reflection, you see another face behind yours.

It's covered with spiders. Giggling spiders, laughing at you.

I shriek and throw it away. Then I carefully check my clothes and the surface of the rock I was leaning against. Do I find more spiders?
Anyone should answer.

The rock is shaking. Realizing it's been spotted, it picks itself up revealing itself to be a rather tall rock-like spider. It begins laughing openly having been revealed.
Slowly, more small spiders of all shapes and colors begin to crawl out of the hole left behind by the large rock spider. Each one of them is giggling eerily.

The rock is shaking. Realizing it's been spotted, it picks itself up revealing itself to be a rather tall rock-like spider. It begins laughing openly having been revealed.
Slowly, more small spiders of all shapes and colors begin to crawl out of the hole left behind by the large rock spider. Each one of them is giggling eerily.

Woah.
I backpedal through the sand. I'm unarmed - but it's not as though I could fend a swarm of spiders off with a sword, in any case. My situation looks pretty desperate! What does the giant spider want with me? Or can I even tell?
Anyone should answer.

Before you can find out what the spiders might want, the large spider lets out a loud, high pitch giggle as the smaller spiders swarm towards your feet, almost as if to hold you in place for the larger one.

Eberron, this does not directly answer my direct question.
I'm still waiting for an answer. Anyone should answer, including but not limited to eberron.

The smaller spiders swarm your feet as the large one raises itself up and approaches. It appears to be intent on engulfing you with the large toothy, undulating orifice on its underbelly.

They're all in some kinda laughter and it's unnerving and stuff.

The smaller spiders swarm your feet as the large one raises itself up and approaches. It appears to be intent on engulfing you with the large toothy, undulating orifice on its underbelly.

They're all in some kinda laughter and it's unnerving and stuff.

I continue to back away, kicking and stomping at the spiders as I go. I shoot glances over my shoulder, evaluating the terrain and weighing my options. What's the best position here that I could take?
Anyone should answer.

Lying face down, stiff as a board, and eating all the sand you can.

Lying face down, stiff as a board, and eating all the sand you can.

For some reason, I get the feeling that I should lie still on the ground and eat sand. I try to make sense of my strange instinct, to recall what half-remembered fact or notice what subconsciously-spotted detail prompts the thought. How would it be helpful to lie on the ground and eat sand? What makes it a better plan than simply turning and running?
Anyone but Chwoka should answer.

You recall that laughing spiders are afraid of the dreaded immobile sandworm, and if you do a good enough impression they might leave you alone.

You recall that laughing spiders are afraid of the dreaded immobile sandworm, and if you do a good enough impression they might leave you alone.

I try to find the courage to attempt this unorthodox technique, but it seems too risky. The spiders are almost upon me. They appear to already know I'm no worm.
Instead, I turn to flee across the sands. Is there a place ahead where I might lose the spiders among the sharp and craggy rocks that surround me?
Anyone should answer.

Nothing but flat expanse in all directions, but what's that up ahead? A mirage.

Nothing but flat expanse in all directions, but what's that up ahead? A mirage.

A mirage?
I squint through the desert haze. What is it a mirage of? A simple pool of water, or something more unusual?
Chwoka should answer.

"No gods watch over you"

Okay, Chwoka is taking too long, now anyone should answer.

It's a portal, a wild one and brand new at that. Powerful bolts of arcane energy arc from its center and into the sand around it. It's central vortex promises escape, a change of scenery tantalizingly exotic. However it is a wild portal, its destination unknown and the use of magic is never without a cost.

It's a portal, a wild one and brand new at that. Powerful bolts of arcane energy arc from its center and into the sand around it. It's central vortex promises escape, a change of scenery tantalizingly exotic. However it is a wild portal, its destination unknown and the use of magic is never without a cost.

Sounds hazardous, but I'm in no position to be choosy.
I run for the portal. Do the spiders follow? If so, can I reach the portal before they reach me?
Anyone should answer.

The Spiders stop as you approach the portal. They shy away, hissing and stamping their many legs against the sand. At first you believe it's the portal, but a deep rumble and the sudden shift of sand proves you wrong. An enormous sand worm bursts forth from the ground behind the portal. It stretches upwards into the sky, its enormous maw issuing forth a terrifying roar. The sand below your feet shifts knocking you to the ground and pulling you as it rushes to fill the space the worm once occupied. You are now being pulled closer to the portal, but the Worm is bearing down on you, It's tail may be trapped deep in the sand rendering it stationary, but you are definitely within its attack range now. And the spiders are going absolutely crazy, you may be able to sneak past them while they are distracted by the worm, but with the flailing and the gnashing of mandibles you don't fancy your chances.

Truegreen, I like this but I'm not entirely sure it follows these rules:

1. Only answer my questions.
...
3. Keep your answers short.

Rule 1 being the major sticking point, since "short" is pretty subjective.

So as far as I'm concerned, the question's still open. Anyone should answer, including Truegreen.