Eigen Writing Game

Perhaps you are remembering the old Eigen Contest that I held on MSPA. This is basically the same thing, although losing the tournament format.

Here is a quick summary if you have not seen this thing yet. An Eigen Plot is a kind of story where each hero will have a chance to shine and show off their skills and powers. Each obstacle will be tailored to fit a specific character. Naturally, these can be pretty contrived.

In this game, you have to come up with a short story featuring the three heroes located in the bottom of the previous poster's entry. Once you are done, make up three new heroes.

Example:
Laser vision, String shot, Mind reader.

"Three burglars must infiltrate a museum, and steal the Empress's Silk Nightgown. First, Mind Reader reads the mind of the security guards, and finds out his biggest fear. Turns out it is broccoli, so they wave a few of these green things towards his general direction. The mere glimpse of this vile vegetable renders the guard unconscious.

Laser Vision turns all the security lasers visible just by looking at them. He is that good. Although maybe it is just magic. Anyways, they can now safely evade the dangerous beams.

String Shot made a perfect replica of the Nightgown. They switch the fake one and the real one, and escape with the loot!"

Are you up to a challenge? Can you use the trio of... umm...

• Unicorn Rider
  Nordic Laughter
  Post Man
  [/list:u]
  in an Eigen story? Apologies in advance.

The Dark Lord was confounded. Armies had fell to his cruel blade, his work in the eldritch arts. Yeah, the three people in front of him. They had somehow subverted his army and bend the dangerous environment to their own. They were not heroes of the long-gone past. They were something, something that he never expected.

And they came in the mail.

It was so simple. Get up early in the morning, get breakfast, do dastardly deeds, and then check his mail. Suddenly, a Unicorn Rider, a Nordic Laughter, and a Postman came bursting out of the impossibly small entrance. With a blinding speed, several envelopes cannoned out of the mail and aimed for the Dark Lord’s head. Being an expertise of both the sword and the shield, the villainous ruler managed to deflect the lethal paper in time. Much to his horror, the envelopes managed to damage his armor and ruin his sword.

“How could you do this?” The Dark Lord sputtered, questioning the impossible physics of the mailbox portal.

The Post Man simply smirked and wielded six more envelopes like ninja stars. Master Post Man was a teacher and a father to Post Man and honed his Postman skills to the level of extra-normal. Since the death of Master Post Man at the hands of the Dark Lord, he would finally get his revenge.

The Dark Lord managed to dodge the additional paper arsenal and suddenly he was slammed on the side. There was the ferocious equine, with bladed teeth and fiery eyes. His horn blazing with holy anger. Wait, how is this mythological danger against him? They were supposed to be neutral in the Great War! Then, the prone Dark Lord looked up and saw a knight in shining armor, the emotionless visor staring down at him. No wonder, that was the Unicorn Rider. That complete bastard!

The Unicorn Rider said nothing. So finally, the Dark Lord was in front of him, prone and weak. Too much sorrow, the Lord has spread and he shall pay by his own death. He edged his spurs into the monstrous horse he called his steed. The unicorn screeched and a white plume of blinding rage came out, engulfing the hapless man.

The Dark Lord was severely weakened by the holy purge. Yet, he still stood. He was not made of marshmallows after all. If he did, what kind of Dark Lord would he be? A lame one! Needless to say, he decided to rally up his army. He needed to get these three jokers out of his place and out of existence.

However, in front of him, here was this tiny man, with a full beard and simple clothes. Though the man looked totally defenseless and weaponless, the man just smiled.

Suddenly the Dark Lord was scared.

A rapturous laughter erupted from the man’s mouth. It was loud, brilliant, and most of all, Nordic. The potent power of Viking Joy purged all evil from the defenseless and weakened Dark Lord into the realm of Valhalla, where Valkyries and dead warriors beat the shit out of evil. Suddenly, the Dark Lord did not seem so intent on oppressing his rule and conquering, as evil has been purged from him.

So, he decided to revise his public image and reform some much-needed laws. After that, the Dark Lord decided to changed his title into Lord. It seemed more politically safe that way.

Thus, Post Man, Unicorn Rider, and Nordic Laughter hi-fived each other for a job well done and rode off, spreading justice to the poor and getting good sandwiches.

Next roster:
Warp Gate
Secret Agent Man
Bear Tornado