Sad and Not Cool Adults Thread (Children Aren't Welcome I Guess)

I find the black and white comics in the newspaper to be thrilling. Yesterday, I filed taxes. I am looking forward to voting this year.

Drunk TWO COFFEE CUPS this morning. God, I am so dangerous.

I built a catapult today.

To get kids the heck off my lawn.

Did any of you catch that game last night? I missed it because I had to run out and buy something for the old missus, haha. Don't tell her I called her that, please.

My car tabs were very expensive this year and I'm mad that my city agreed to raise taxes for a public transportation plan that will take 20 years to implement and not be effective at all until then, if it even ends up getting built

I'm unemployed, am I an adult?

i just had a colonoscopy, lobotomy, appendectomy, tonsillectomy, quadruple bypass and orchiectomy. Without anesthesia.

Ugh, there's construction on the road to fix up major cracks and potholes. Can't they tell I'm trying to get from point A to point B? With any luck, I'll need to refill on gas somewhere other than Costco!

Wife just had kids, do you want to see photos?

I smell betrayals.

There are half-empty water bottles at every 4.2 square inch of my life

I'm not economically viable. So I cannot get that loan from a bank.