join me on my quest for peace of mind

the challenge goes as thus:

stop looking at art
stop watching videos
stop listening to music

purge the doubt of self-worth, isolate yourself and your creations
you will always be the best if you are the only one who exists.

how about taking a bike ride.

Unless you're in Canada, in which case, you go tobaggoning. B.c even in May, you find FREEZING TEMPERATURES LIKE WHY

purge the doubt of self-worth, isolate yourself and your creations
you will always be the best if you are the only one who exists.

I like the first part a lot. I'm not sure what you mean by the latter, though?

you can't feel like other people are doing better than you if you explicitly ignore what they're doing, or that they're even there.

is there a difference between "feeling" others are doing better than you? vs. "knowing" that others are?

What I mean to say is, what feeling does it evoke and is the feeling an unavoidable consequence of "knowing"?

nah, they're pretty much the same, unless you "know" that other people actually aren't doing supremely better than you. you need hard evidence for that though.
otherwise, even if you have evidence that they're doing better than you, other people will tell you not to worry about it
so the best solution is to erase the need for worry by erasing all consumption of other work.

you're the best, if you're the only one.

well good luck on your journey!

I'll chill here at the question depot.

Chew'n on straw, and trying to whistle.

Since it sounds like you've got nothing better to do with your time, you should try reading The Expanse series. It's a pretty cool space opera about politics in our solar system at middling tech level.

how about taking a bike ride.

Unless you're in Canada, in which case, you go tobaggoning. B.c even in May, you find FREEZING TEMPERATURES LIKE WHY

I, a Canadian, wore shorts and a t-shirt just the other day.

as i observe how many artists of varying quality populate tumblr, i am afraid i may be coming to the conclusion that i have to stop following everyone i'm currently following if i wish to stop seeing art
it's a hard choice to make but i can't give up this early

additionally i may have to stop using the virtual petsite Aywas if i wish to stop seeing art, seeing as how it is an entirely art-based site and there are many talented people there.

on the other hand, that's the only place that's giving me money in exchange for my art, currently. even though, that only happens sometimes.

maintaining your isolation from art as a paid artist is confusing and hard!

MMmmMmMmMmMMMMm THE CHALLENGE ISN'T GOING SO WELL TODAY........

also

If you want to try to see what it's like without your usual stuff for a week or so that's good, at least just to see what it's like and what various conclusions about yourself you'll come to from trying different things. It would probably be more effective if you were on medication (if it turns out that's what you need) but trying for a bit could help if you make sure to look out for negative feedback loops (otherwise your time spent might be bad since you end up wallowing and beating yourself up over whatever your brain comes up with instead of focusing on other things)

what does this mean? "without my usual stuff", you mean, my art? i didn't say i was actively working on changing my art yet (as much as i want to be), i'm just musing about stopping myself from seeing other peoples art so i can MAYBE NOT HATE MYSELF FOR ONE DAY

I think Wheat is just concerned, KE.

Self-loathing is a really awful place to be, and any movement away from that can be an improvement - Wheat wants whatever change you make to be a positive one.

There is a risk that comes with isolating yourself. It might help you achieve a feeling of clarity and comfort, but it could also spiral in the opposite direction. If the latter were to happen, you might be in a position with even less of a social safety net. He's offering a word of caution at the start of your quest.

I took the, "without your usual stuff", as a reference to your online haunts, places like eagle-time or tumblr or Aywas. In that context, what Wheat is encouraging you to try out blocking what you see of other's art in order to see how you feel afterwards.

If I'm wrong about this, let me know. I've only got a tiny sliver of a picture here.


You mentioned that "you're the best, if you're the only one."

This might be a dumb question but, what is the benefit of being the best?

the benefit of "being the best" is:
- i start to feel better about my own art
- i might even actually like it, for once
- i keep making art because i want to, not because i feel like i need to

i wouldn't leave eagle-time. if i took any actual action, i'd just unfollow a bunch of people on tumblr and stop visiting the aywas tag (where everyone posts their aywas art). i can't make myself break any habits though, i'm really bad at that.

well if you're the only one who exists then you need to make art because then htere's no one else to do it

yeah!!!! i'm the only good artist. there's no one else now. the stuff i make is good and everyone likes it.

you're so unapproachable and cool and popular

i'm not lonely though, i have close friends who also like my art. it's good

you said GOOD artist. what are you implyin' does that mean you can still look at art that's worse than yours

i'm not lonely though, i have close friends who also like my art. it's good

i said popular

yeah but you also said "unapproachable" which suggests people don't talk to me, about how cool i am and how good my art is,

also yeah :v

unapproachable as in you are on another level and i could never dream of bieng better than you

it's a currency for conversation

same

th
currency?? conversation?? the most conversation i have is a small handful of people saying "wow nice draw" at me once or twice
meanwhile i never really say a word to anyone else, at all? what happens when i see some art i like is 1. i show it to a friend 2. we gush over it a bit 3. i immediately start tearing myself apart
without saying a WORD, directly or indirectly, to the person who made the nice art

there's no conversation here, if i stop following some tumblr artists they probably aren't even gonna notice.

like i GUESS when i show a nice draw i found to someone else, we're having a conversation. but most of the time i end up turning it into "why can't i make stuff that looks this nice?"

and after hearing so many times
that my art isn't bad, it's just that my standards for art have improved beyond what i can do, from observing other art,
i can only come to the solution of lowering my standards for art somehow??? because the usual solution of "practice more and raise my skill" isn't happening lol