strange coincidences you find that must surely be attributed to some vile conspiracy

Today I was walking down the road, when I saw that the sidewalk was misaligned.

There was a hairline crack coming down from the far edge, and the concrete was shifted down by some minute length. Now, you might think that is normal. You might think that anyone can just find some hairline crack on any sidewalk.

But no! I assure you, this was not normal.

Clearly there was some horrible thing occurring. For in that moment I turned about and saw that upon every slab of concrete there was a minute, hairline crack. Upon every slab, each and every one!

Then I espied a long arm reaching from behind an alley with a resounding whirring - this long arm reached out a crooked finger and traced along a windowpane, and - behold! A hairline crack formed upon the window.

Concrete is gone. It is destabilized by whatever vile force projects this long arm with crooked fingers. Now glass is next.

I do not know what other misdeeds this organization is up to, but keep on the lookout for other mysterious coincidences in your lives so that we may all be protected.

This reminds me of that episode of the amazing world of Gumball where all the reject characters are sucked into the place where mistakes go and are forgotten about

Yesterday, I had a miitomo question asking about what food I would tell everyone about and I said Monty Cristo sandwiches. That day for lunch, they were serving Monty Cristo Sandwiches.

today i was walking down the road and i think that's pretty strange since i DON'T HAVE ANY LEGS AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Every morning for the past 3 years I've woken up on a different side of the bed than I went to sleep on. As I have never been TOLD by anyone that I roll in my sleep, I find it incredibly likely that someone is manually moving me every time I sleep. Whatever the goal of this nefarious person or organization is, I do not know, but the fact that they are able to get past my increasingly complex defenses every night worries me greatly.

I was told by a guy at a store that I look like John Green. I DO NOT LOOK LIKE HIM. WE ARE BOTH WHITE WITH GLASSES THAT IS IT.

Why do people keep asking me this???