The Grand Murder Mystery

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The Grand Murder Mystery
#1
The Grand Murder Mystery
The Victim was dead.

In the last moments of his life, he used his immense powers to summon eight of the greatest detectives from throughout the multiverse, for one purpose and one purpose only.

To identify his killer.


Blah blah, this is a Grand Battle except everyone is a detective and you're trying to figure out who killed the Victim? Also you'll probably end up dealing with other murder mysteries during the rounds, I don't know, I haven't thought this out too closely.

Just follow a standard profile format. I'll grab a basic layout and edit it in later.
#2
RE: The Grand Murder Mystery
Username: The Foot
Name: Saint Supersleuth
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Color: #330033
Abilities: All the ones Scofflaw has, magnifying glass
Description: Scofflaw
Biography: Scofflaw is a detective now?
#3
RE: The Grand Murder Mystery
Username: Solari
Name: Vo-to
Race: ANCIENT EGYPTIAN MAFIA PLAYER
Gender: Male
Color: #2F2F89
Abilities: Playing games VERY WELL, with ANCIENT EGYPTIAN MAGIC. His specialty is the party game known as mafia, which is heavy on shenanigans, careful gambits and plans, making the most out of your words and abilities, implausible situations, connecting threads together, finding and lynching scum, and trying (and often failing) to figure out what the fuck is going on.
Description: Normally clothed in golden and while clothes, those fit for an ANCIENT EGYPTIAN GAME MASTER. He is tan with glorious golden eyes and black hair that as long as it is beautiful, which is very. His robes are some of the finest, and to walk where his sandals once were is said to give you GAME PROWESS.

He is honorable in his gameplay and intelligent in his execution. His gambits are perfect and his theory is sound. He has spent many hours researching not just mafia theory, but the theory of virtually all games. And he's also pretty good at them. He is however, a bit haughty and over-dramatic.
Biography: Even as far back as in ANCIENT SICILY, the mafia was up and about. Though their influence did not spread outside their borders, the tales of their control and schemes spread far and wide. They flowed across the known world, all the way to Ancient Egypt, where they were inspired into creating something new, a game rooted in Ancient Psychology and Ancient Yelling. The Ancient Egyptians made Ancient Mafia the Party game.

Back in those days, there was one and only one way to play any game, WITH COPIOUS AMOUNT OF EGYPTIAN MAGIC. Each of the players were assigned their role, at which point they would be entered in a magical simulation wherein they would become their role and through the days and nights they would lynch and kill each other, sometimes having stakes so far as to make the losers of the game... lose everything.

Vo-to is not just any player, he is the best player, never once losing a game of ANCIENT EGYPTIAN MAFIA, at any level of stakes. He was feared and well known to the point that the Ancient Egyptians had to invent an ancient random number generator in order to stop the moderator from stacking the deck against Vo-to. He was in the middle of another game when he was called for his ability to think like wrongdoers and to find the scum hiding in plain sight.
#4
RE: The Grand Murder Mystery
Username: Ixcaliber
Name: Detective Rufus Tyler and his sidekick EVIDENSE
Gender: Males
Race: Cops
Colour: just red
Description: Detective Tyler is tall and thin. He has a shock of blonde hair and he always wears sunglasses. His teeth are perfect: straight and shiny white. His chin sports what he would refer to as designer stubble that somehow never grows into a full beard no matter how neglected it is. He wears a long black jacket and a red tie tied loose. Holstered at his belt are a pair of pistols (one black and one white) named Orichalcum and Obsidian. They are both immaculately well-maintained. He is frequently chewing gum and can get on edge when he is running low.

EVIDENSE is a small boxy robot that is about as tall as Rufus’ waist. His main body is large and cube shaped. It is covered in various dials and pieces of machinery which Rufus doesn’t really understand. He has tiny little legs, extendable arms with three little fingers upon them and his head is an oversized camera upon an extendable neck. He speaks in a chirpy sing song kind of a voice. When his assistance is not necessary he is usually carried around by Rufus in his inert form; a shiny silver suitcase which seems to be too small to actually contain the entirety of EVIDENSE.

Rufus likes simple cases where the answers are clear cut. He doesn’t mind if this amounts to ‘that guy is shooting at us it is probably him’ or a case where he can get the most likely suspect and shout at them until they admit that it was them. He practically speaks in puns and he is not really very good at solving crimes. EVIDENSE is the perfect companion to him. It is a robot that is designed to be the ultimate forensic investigator. It can do all the things you see on CSI and then some and it comes with a chirpy user friendly interface. It would almost be a perfect partnership but for the fact that EVIDENSE gets right on Rufus’ nerves.

Items/Abilities: Rufus special skills include shooting bad guys, interrogating bad guys, chasing bad guys and making lame puns. He has a previously mentioned pair of pistols called Orichalcum and Obsidian. They never jam or run out of bullets as long as he holds them out at a slanted angle. EVIDENSE is the best forensic computer that has ever been built.

Biography: They fight crime.
#5
RE: The Grand Murder Mystery
Username: BTP

Name: LeAnn Rimes, Monkey Detective

Race: Human

Gender: Male

Color: Brown

Abilities/Items: LeAnn picked up a classic detective hat with those little ear flaps and a thinking pipe he got from Lady Antebellum. He knows all sorts of monkey street fighting and maybe even a new SUPER MOVE that involves bananas. He is still a monkey leader and has an indeterminate, adjustable amount of cartoon style monkeys that follow him around. He wears a white robe with a belt like that one haduken guy, though LeAnn has no idea what a haduken is and can not do one so stop asking him to. Inside of his robe he keeps an ample supply of bananas (exactly 20) just incase he gets hungry or needs a snack.

Description: LeAnn is a monkey man from a jungle land. Which is to say he is a regular man who has lived in the jungle and thinks he's a monkey. Also he wears the aforementioned detective hat now, in addition to his streetfighter robe. His monkeys look like normal cartoon monkeys when they're alive and like bloody mangled pulps when they are dead. It's difficult managing such a large or small number of furry companions so they tend to run into danger pretty frequently.

Biography: After emerging as the undisputible champion from the GRAND CLUSTERF*CK, the guy who was in charge of that offered LeAnn a single wish before returning him to his monkey-world. LeAnn had suffered a few head injuries along the way and asked for something to cover his head. Whoever that guy in charge of that thing was obliged and LeAnn got a classic (possibly magical) detective hat. He wears it all the time now and it's second favorite piece of clothing (the first being the robe which is is only other piece of clothing).

LeAnn was returned to his world and began to use all of the experiences he had and remembered (head trauma is a funny thing) to help out his monkey companions. He began to solve and resolve disputes between fellow monkeys, and as he was the smartest monkey of them all (he is not a monkey). He solves cases basically all the time now, like: "Who ate bananas?" (it was the monkey with bananas in its hand) or "Who fell off tree and died?" (this involved pointing at the monkey corpse on the ground and then grieving profusely for lost little Trisha Yearwood). Maybe it's because of the frequency of "solved cases" or the fact the dying can mess up your head a little bit but for some reason the Victim picked LeAnn to help solve the murder. Go figure.
#6
RE: The Grand Murder Mystery
Username: Pharmacy

Name: Cecil

Race: A ghost carrying a corpse

Gender: A dude ghost carrying a corpse

Color: HE'S DEAD JIM (#535570)

Abilities: Along with the ability of being a legitimate (and dead) detective, Cecil has the strengths and weakness of a ghost - namely interaction with small objects, transparency, spookiness, and uneasiness over vacuum cleaners. Unfortunately, there is a problem: all his senses are in his corpse.

That being said, his ghostly self is legally blind and deaf (and have the gustatory taste of a heavy smoker) and if he wants to actually see and touch and whatever, he has to drag his corpse around and drop it on things. Considering he only has been dead for not a long time, his handling of his own dead body is incredibly clumsy. He really hates it but won't you hate it too if you dragged your own cadaver around.

Cecil's body has the abilities of a corpse: namely being stationary, heavy, and a general nuisance. Luckily, it makes a decent shield and if the situation calls of it, an excellent bludgeon.

Description:

Being a ghost, Cecil is largely invisible under normal life. Under certain conditions (special goggles, weird light, stupid dumb chance), a lucky person might see some shimmering outline of a man. Luckily, Cecil is very audible and loud and often, you could hear clumsy shuffling, tripping, and profuse swearing.

Cecil carries his former physical self around: a man thankfully dressed in some clothes and a heavy trenchcoat. Surprisingly, there is no symptoms of rot or zombie-like traits on this corpse. In fact, he looks more like he is sleeping - or some sort of trance.

Regardless of the state of his body, the sight of a body floating halfway in the middle is incredibly disconcerting and people often run away screaming from him.

Biography:

There was a man who can solve things
His nosiness can break open any scheme
Woe is he, he found a fact so terrible
No murderous evidence could find comparable
Thus the culprit knew, knew what to do
So poor Cecil was completely screwed
But hark, wait! Good fortune smiles.
Our detective is alive...in some piles.
He was pretty pissed, I would be too
But the Victim called, so Cecil was pulled.