The Grand Campaign

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This year's Presidential election campaign has officially begun, and we have eight candidates running for the office.

Tonight, we'll introduce you to these candidates, and then we'll be providing live, on-the-scene coverage of the campaign itself as they all head to major campaign stops. More on that in a moment. But first, here's Steve with the weather."

Welcome to THE GRAND CAMPAIGN! This is Yet Another Grand Battle Spinoff, this time featuring a political theme.

The campaign will proceed through seven major cities (rounds), during which the candidates will make their case to the electorate. At the end of each campaign stop, we'll report on the progress of the race; based on past elections, we anticipate that by the end of each stop, one of the candidates will simply find they're not up to the task and drop out. (One candidate will be eliminated every round.)

At the end of it all, we'll have our next President!

To participate in the Grand Campaign, please fill out this candidate application form.

Username: Your name.
Candidate: The name of the candidate you're nominating.
Party: The candidate's party.
Gender: Male, Female, None, or Other (please specify).
Race: The candidate's race and/or species.
Text color: The color in which official campaign literature will be printed. Please note that #000FED is reserved for use by news organizations.
Platform: The candidate's policy propositions.
Special Skills: The talents your candidate would bring to the office. Examples include public speaking, military experience, or the ability to summon eldritch abominations from beyond the void.
Description: A brief description of the candidate's appearance and overall personality.
Biography: A summary of the candidate's career up to this point, including any other elected offices they may have held.

Thank you for your time. We look forward to an exciting race.

Username: Ixcaliber
Candidate: Infanta LaLa
Party: Little Creatures Party
Gender: Female
Race: Pop Sensation
Text Colour: darkmagenta

Platform: The Little Creatures Party’s main policy is that no matter who or what you are, or how you were born, you have the right to live a peaceful life free from persecution by society at large. From their campaign so far it seems that they don’t have much to actually say about other issues beyond this and it is debatable whether the Infanta even understands politics and how it is traditionally supposed to work.

Special Skills: The Infanta has a unique style that is all of her own. It is very useful in hiding the fact that the party has no policies of any substance. She has at her beck and call an entire team of backup singers and dancers, choreographers, set designers, clothing designers, makeup artists, musicians and one very put upon PA who is expected to do all the politics stuff that the Infanta can’t really be bothered to understand. She also has the backing of millions of Little Creatures who need no reason to vote for her other than she is the Infanta.

Description: Infanta LaLa looks pretty different in every music video she has appeared in and every press conference or debate in which she has participated. Most often she sports spiked short platinum blonde hair, more makeup than a typical clown and some kind of outlandish outfit. Her most infamous costume was one made entirely from rotting human remains. At the point at which she was taken into the Grand Campaign she was preparing for a debate, and as such she is dressed up for the occasion. Her outfit is most easily summarised as ‘robot mermaid’. Her hair has been dyed a dark grey-red with silver highlights and matching extensions (a noticeable amount of which end as a twisted piece of copper wire), every inch of exposed skin is caked in silver-grey makeup, she is wearing contact lenses that turn her entire eyes green, her legs have been fitted into a dull grey mermaid tail and the only piece of clothing she is wearing is a complicated bra matched to the robot makeup fitted into each cup is a working flamethrower. To keep mobile in this outfit she uses a wheelchair, which is decorated to look as incredibly futuristic as possible. It is covered in flashing lights and chrome effect.

She is sort of strange, most of the time she is off in her own world. She says that she went into politics as it seemed like the obvious next step from singing about an unjust world. She relishes the opportunity to show off and can be incredibly stroppy when the attention is not focused upon her. She will talk for a long time about her politics and the deep meanings of her songs and stuff if people get her started. She is pretty self-obsessed. She’ll probably want to keep her Little Creatures up to date on her adventures via twitter.

Biography: The Infanta, real name Jessica Hall, was originally just a persona that the singer invented in order to become more popular after her first album bombed. It isn’t clear exactly what point she stopped being Jessica Hall and let the persona consume her life entirely, but she has reached the point where she completely believes that her persona is her life. After dominating the pop charts with her blend of catchy music, incredibly stylised performances and overwrought songs which don’t contain as much depth as she’d like to believe she set her sights higher, upon the presidency, which she feels has been pretty mismanaged and she could totally do a better job of.

SpoilerShow

Okay let's make this happen. I am going to have the Infanta in an active battle if it kills me.

Username: Solar Smith
Candidate: Samuel I. Worth
Party: AMERICA
Gender: ALL AMERICAN MALE
Race: AMERICAN
Text color: #A000A0, THE COLOR OF AMERICA
Biography: After World War 1, American Super Scientists banded together, under the watchful eye of the U.S. Government to make a new breed of soldier. A group who would be powerful beyond belief, with amazing abilities and a strong loyalty to their country. Samuel I. Worth, publicized as Uncle Sam, though he was much younger than what would eventually be popularized, is the only living member of these experiments. Armed with an American loyalty like no other and his new powers, this result of American Super Science was cryogenicly frozen for the time that his country would need him most. In fact, the last words said to him were "When you wake up, you will be on enemy lines." They were wrong.
Platform: As a result of his dementia brought on by American Super Science Mind Experimentation, Samuel will constantly blather on the greatness of America and how they need to beat those oversea scum. Everyone who is THE ENEMY must be dealt with impunity and power. He is FOR AMERICA AND BY AMERICA AND FUCK YOU I'm AMERICA.
Special Skills: The result of the American Super Science on Samuel was the ability to shoot out energy beams in the colors of red, white, and blue. He can shoot them out from his hands as fists, from the palm, or individual fingers. He can strengthen or weaken them, stun to kill and all that. The color doesn't seem to be for anything other than aesthetics. He also has a few mental issues due to American Super Science Mind Experimentation. Beyond that, he has ALL AMERICAN SCHOOLING and military training. AMERICA!
Description: Sam's dressed in a nice suit with the appropriate shoes, socks, and slacks. It has an American Flag Pin. His hair is a strong blond, short and combed, his skin's fair, eyes are black. He is loyal to the American cause and hates anti-American scum possibly due to American Super Science Mind Experiments that have left him partially insane! Whoops. Overall, he acts proper and right to his fellow man, unless they are THE ENEMY, in which case he punches them out. He does not always know how to discern who is and is not THE ENEMY.