Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round Three: The Epigen Center]
11-22-2011, 07:36 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.
The Hedonist scowled at a stack of papers and photographs on his desk, occasionally leaning over to cross out something with a red marker or take a sip from a cocktail of bleach and absinthe. Crumb stood next to him, yawning.
The djinni smiled for a moment. "What about, like, a really big house?"
The man in the lime-green beret shook his head. "Been done, sir."
"Oh." The Hedonist frowned again, and drew an X. "An amusement park?"
"Taken."
"Casino? Volcano? Space station of some kind?"
"All used, the last one twice."
The djinni chewed on the marker. "This is harder than I thought, Crumb. Well, how about an office building? Was there one there?"
Crumb paused for a long while before answering. "...There was, sir. Well, technically, it was the distorted memory of an office building in a comatose man's mind, but the point is--"
"Forget it, it's different enough. I'm putting it there anyway, and NO ONE CAN STOP ME." The Hedonist proceeded to cackle maniacally, as the man in the lime-green beret responded by rolling his eyes.
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The contestants, minus Elimine, appeared in a flash of light in The Hedonist's study.
After several elbows to the lack-of-chest from Crumb, the djinni finally raised his head to face the returning battlers. He grinned, coughed repeatedly, and shifted his stack of papers aside. "Er. Right, I apologize for all that!" The man in the lime-green beret whispered something to him. "Oh, right, they wouldn't, would they... very, uh, admirable performance, all of you. Quite entertaining."
The Hedonist coughed once more before continuing. "Anyway! Congratulations to all who survived; Ms. Fraze's consolation prize will be a quite pleasant time-lapse photograph of that pretty little solar system. For the next round, you'll be in the central offices of Epigencorp, who, if their Christmas catalog is to believed, make home appliances, personal computers, and devastating superweapons. However, this round will be a little different! For it is... the special change-up round!" A shower of confetti fell from nowhere in particular as the djinni laughed uproariously.
"Specifically, you'll all be undercover as existing employees of the company. If you die, you still lose, naturally; however, you'll also lose if you perform so poorly as to be fired, and I can't really have people just wandering around, living, after losing a round of my battle, so I'll have someone get around to killing you if that happens as well."
The djinni quickly waved to all the contestants. "As before, I wish you all the best of luck, and I'd like you all to know it's been a great pleasure watching you eradicate several hundred species that may remain unparalleled for millennia. Bon voyage!" And, with a clap of his hands, they were off.
Crumb sighed. "Sir, with all due respect, it seems rather a shame that the round went as it did."
The Hedonist shrugged and took another sip of his cocktail. "Jerry, you have no sense of spectacle. And that new hat doesn't suit you, memento or not, and on top of that I have no idea why you'd want to be reminded of such nonsense. Go back to the old one."
"Yes, sir."
The Hedonist scowled at a stack of papers and photographs on his desk, occasionally leaning over to cross out something with a red marker or take a sip from a cocktail of bleach and absinthe. Crumb stood next to him, yawning.
The djinni smiled for a moment. "What about, like, a really big house?"
The man in the lime-green beret shook his head. "Been done, sir."
"Oh." The Hedonist frowned again, and drew an X. "An amusement park?"
"Taken."
"Casino? Volcano? Space station of some kind?"
"All used, the last one twice."
The djinni chewed on the marker. "This is harder than I thought, Crumb. Well, how about an office building? Was there one there?"
Crumb paused for a long while before answering. "...There was, sir. Well, technically, it was the distorted memory of an office building in a comatose man's mind, but the point is--"
"Forget it, it's different enough. I'm putting it there anyway, and NO ONE CAN STOP ME." The Hedonist proceeded to cackle maniacally, as the man in the lime-green beret responded by rolling his eyes.
---------------------------------------------
The contestants, minus Elimine, appeared in a flash of light in The Hedonist's study.
After several elbows to the lack-of-chest from Crumb, the djinni finally raised his head to face the returning battlers. He grinned, coughed repeatedly, and shifted his stack of papers aside. "Er. Right, I apologize for all that!" The man in the lime-green beret whispered something to him. "Oh, right, they wouldn't, would they... very, uh, admirable performance, all of you. Quite entertaining."
The Hedonist coughed once more before continuing. "Anyway! Congratulations to all who survived; Ms. Fraze's consolation prize will be a quite pleasant time-lapse photograph of that pretty little solar system. For the next round, you'll be in the central offices of Epigencorp, who, if their Christmas catalog is to believed, make home appliances, personal computers, and devastating superweapons. However, this round will be a little different! For it is... the special change-up round!" A shower of confetti fell from nowhere in particular as the djinni laughed uproariously.
"Specifically, you'll all be undercover as existing employees of the company. If you die, you still lose, naturally; however, you'll also lose if you perform so poorly as to be fired, and I can't really have people just wandering around, living, after losing a round of my battle, so I'll have someone get around to killing you if that happens as well."
The djinni quickly waved to all the contestants. "As before, I wish you all the best of luck, and I'd like you all to know it's been a great pleasure watching you eradicate several hundred species that may remain unparalleled for millennia. Bon voyage!" And, with a clap of his hands, they were off.
Crumb sighed. "Sir, with all due respect, it seems rather a shame that the round went as it did."
The Hedonist shrugged and took another sip of his cocktail. "Jerry, you have no sense of spectacle. And that new hat doesn't suit you, memento or not, and on top of that I have no idea why you'd want to be reminded of such nonsense. Go back to the old one."
"Yes, sir."
Spoiler