Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round One: The "Denny's"]
06-06-2011, 08:25 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by Anomaly.
Another bland, mostly empty room with a few machines against the wall. Hardly any different from every other room in the entire base. A couple more identical doors which would no doubt lead into even more identical rooms and not actually get them anywhere. The only identifiable difference was a large double-door next to a small console, labeled only with a large "X".
"Oh, that's helpful. Why bother putting up helpful signs when you can stick a big letter on them instead? What do you think, Cail? Keep wandering in circles through this pit, or try the only interesting thing in this room?"
"Dunno. Any idea what's in there?"
"Eh, who knows? Something waiting to kill us? Another mountain of breakfast? Buried pirate treasure? It's gotta be more interesting than this dump. You go first."
"Guess it couldn't hurt."
Cailean sauntered up to the control console, staring at it perplexedly. A few buttons and a slot made up the entirety of the controls, but once more they lacked labels. Not that Cailean would have been able to read them anyway. He inquisitively pressed the buttons in sequence, each of which responded with a flat, dull beep. A while later, he tried sticking his knife in the slot and pushing the buttons again. Naturally, nothing happened.
"Think it's broken, Gaurinn. Want a look at it?"
"It's not... Okay, it needs a card key, not a... you know what? You have five seconds to stand back if you don't want to be fried."
Cailean scarcely had time to get out of the way before a blinding bolt of electricity arced from the centipede to the control console, resulting in a sizzle and a column of smoke from the now-melted circuitry. The door sparked a few times, then slid open.
"Was that so hard, Cail? It's too bad you can't just shoot electricity from your arm. It'd save me a lot of trouble."
"Awfully dark in here. Sure you're up for this?"
"Me? I'm not the one that goes murderous every time someone gets a little boo-boo. Don't even think of getting near me with that knife."
The two edged forward through the now-open double doors into the cavernous expanses beyond. From what little they could see, the chamber was much more massive than the other rooms, though neither could tell how far the room stretched.
"Hey there, Hedonist. Nine contestants, hmm? And yet, even with the extra one, it's still not very interesting. Couldn't you have chosen a more interesting location or something?"
The Hedonist eyed the genie with a slight tinge of annoyance. "You don't find this interesting? You have poor taste, my friend!" The djinni gave a hearty laugh.
"Surely you could spice it up some, Hedonist! Some more danger, maybe! Where's the fun if they're not constantly in fear of a death that never quite comes?"
"The battle's fine the way it is, genie. You're beginning to sound like-"
The genie's mouth spread into a wide grin, full of sharp, jagged, glistening white teeth. All color washed from the genie, reducing him to a purely black shadow. His body melted away and rearranged itself into a humanoid form as a multitude of red eyes appeared on his head area. He began to laugh hysterically.
"Didn't expect that, did you, Heddy?" The Tormentor burst out laughing again. "But don't worry, I'm not here to wreck your battle! Where'd the fun be in that? Well, it'd be a lot of fun, but that's not the point! I'm just glad you took the bait and accepted nine entries in this little battle of yours, Heddy!"
"...Very well played, Tormy. What exactly are you planning?"
"No, don't worry! I'm just going to help you out a little! Goodbye, Heddy!" In a final burst of laughter, the Tormentor melted away into the floor.
Cailean chose instead to transfixedly stare behind Gaurinn, saying nothing.
"What, you scared of the dark or something? Cail, hello? Is there something behind me, or what?"
Gaurinn turned around to find a multitude of glowing eyes and a bright, jagged grin directly behind him. He yelled and discharged a massive bolt of electricity, which was casually absorbed into the shadow. Gaurinn dashed behind Cailean to hide.
"What the hell is that thing and what does it want with us? Go kill it!"
The thing in the shadow advanced forward as the doors slammed shut. Gaurinn had exhausted himself from his initial attack, and Cailean was too busy backing away in fear to do much of anything. Gaurinn whipped around to look at the soldier, intense anger bursting forth from his eyes.
"You idiot, kill it! The hell is wrong with you?" No response. "Okay, you know what? Give me that knife!"
Gaurinn rushed to Cailean's side and pulled the knife from its sheathe with his upper hands. Cailean gave no resistence, content in silently backing away from the approaching creature. Gaurinn sprung toward the shadowy abomination, attempting to plunge the knife into its face. A spindly black arm shot from the darkness and stopped the knife in mid-swing, taking hold of it and tossing it across the room. Gaurinn scuttled back to Cailean's side as quickly as possible, his eyes wide with fear.
"Okay, that didn't work. You! Shadowy freak! What do you want with us?" The creature responded with a grating, uncontrolled fit of laughter, perhaps one of the most horrible sounds either of them had ever heard. It began to speak in an equally disturbing voice, one that couldn't quite decide whether it was jovial or psychotic.
"What, me? Ha! Name's the Tormentor! And don't worry, I'm only here to make things more interesting in this little battle of yours! Don't bother running away, you won't get anywhere!"
"What the hell are you tal-" Before Gaurinn could finish, the Tormentor was suddenly standing between Cailean and him, holding Gaurinn up by the neck.
"No, don't bother talking! This won't take long at all! Now, let's see... Ah, he's left-handed. Good to know!"
The Tormentor immediately tore Cailean's left arm from its socket, prompting him to wince and double over in pain. The Tormentor proceeded to carefully rip out his entire spine, strangely causing no ill effects. Gaurinn continued to watch in horror as the Tormentor turned to him.
"Oh, no worries, centipede! It's your turn now!"
Gaurinn turned to run, but was immediately grabbed by several shadowy arms and lifted in the air. A strange feeling washed over his body, and he lost consciousness as a hideous laughter echoed through the air.
It was only as he tried to walk forward to investigate the strangely enormous laboratory that he discovered he was being held by something. He turned to the side to see Cailean lying on the ground, unconscious. He then turned further, finding that his body stopped exactly where the man's left arm should have been. He tried to pull away in a panic, but wasn't nearly strong enough to pull Cailean with him.
"Oh shit. Shit. Shit shit shit. Shit! Cailean, you worthless bastard, wake up! Wake! Up!" Gaurinn punctuated his sentences with small bursts of electricity into Cailean's face. The armored man eventually awoke from his sleep, immediately discovering four feet of centipede where his left arm should have been.
"...In the name of Maowyn, no."
"Yes, Cail. Yes. This just happened. This bullshit just happened! This is your fault, you idiot! If you'd done something instead of backing away like the asshole you are, we wouldn't be in this mess! We... you... that thing couldn't..." Gaurinn collapsed against Cailean's side as he stood up, too distraught to continue.
"You were the one who was so eager to go in here. But let's not waste our time blaming each other. We need to get you off of me first, yes?"
Gaurinn struggled to lift himself to face Cailean in the eyes. "Okay, sure. Whatever. I'm sure you have some magical solution hiding somewhere. After all, you solve all of our problems, Cailean! You've been so useful so far! Like murdering that guard! That was great! You know what, just open that door so we can get out of here."
Cailean unevenly stumbled toward the door, weighed down by the heavy centipede creature that had just replaced both his arm and his spine. Once more he stared at the controls for the door, but the smoke pouring out betrayed the fact that Gaurinn had destroyed this one, too.
"Well would you look at that, we're trapped here. Whatever, there's probably another exit somewhere. Why don't you take me there, chauffeur?"
Cailean turned around to investigate the rest of the large room, and, more importantly, to retrieve his knife. Standing before the pair, however, was a large, humanoid robot with three human brains crammed into a glass jar on its head. Various weapon systems dotted its metal surfaces, and all of them seemed to be warming up for battle.
"You are--INTRUD--ing in our base. I'M going to ᴍᴜʀder you. And all the ᴄᴀᴋᴇ is gone."
Another bland, mostly empty room with a few machines against the wall. Hardly any different from every other room in the entire base. A couple more identical doors which would no doubt lead into even more identical rooms and not actually get them anywhere. The only identifiable difference was a large double-door next to a small console, labeled only with a large "X".
"Oh, that's helpful. Why bother putting up helpful signs when you can stick a big letter on them instead? What do you think, Cail? Keep wandering in circles through this pit, or try the only interesting thing in this room?"
"Dunno. Any idea what's in there?"
"Eh, who knows? Something waiting to kill us? Another mountain of breakfast? Buried pirate treasure? It's gotta be more interesting than this dump. You go first."
"Guess it couldn't hurt."
Cailean sauntered up to the control console, staring at it perplexedly. A few buttons and a slot made up the entirety of the controls, but once more they lacked labels. Not that Cailean would have been able to read them anyway. He inquisitively pressed the buttons in sequence, each of which responded with a flat, dull beep. A while later, he tried sticking his knife in the slot and pushing the buttons again. Naturally, nothing happened.
"Think it's broken, Gaurinn. Want a look at it?"
"It's not... Okay, it needs a card key, not a... you know what? You have five seconds to stand back if you don't want to be fried."
Cailean scarcely had time to get out of the way before a blinding bolt of electricity arced from the centipede to the control console, resulting in a sizzle and a column of smoke from the now-melted circuitry. The door sparked a few times, then slid open.
"Was that so hard, Cail? It's too bad you can't just shoot electricity from your arm. It'd save me a lot of trouble."
"Awfully dark in here. Sure you're up for this?"
"Me? I'm not the one that goes murderous every time someone gets a little boo-boo. Don't even think of getting near me with that knife."
The two edged forward through the now-open double doors into the cavernous expanses beyond. From what little they could see, the chamber was much more massive than the other rooms, though neither could tell how far the room stretched.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A genie reclined in a chair, watching the proceeds of the battle thus far. He guessed it was a little interesting. He guessed. Well actually, no, it was rather boring. Pancakes and friendship, how drab. He needed something to entertain himself with. Might as well start with bugging the host or something."Hey there, Hedonist. Nine contestants, hmm? And yet, even with the extra one, it's still not very interesting. Couldn't you have chosen a more interesting location or something?"
The Hedonist eyed the genie with a slight tinge of annoyance. "You don't find this interesting? You have poor taste, my friend!" The djinni gave a hearty laugh.
"Surely you could spice it up some, Hedonist! Some more danger, maybe! Where's the fun if they're not constantly in fear of a death that never quite comes?"
"The battle's fine the way it is, genie. You're beginning to sound like-"
The genie's mouth spread into a wide grin, full of sharp, jagged, glistening white teeth. All color washed from the genie, reducing him to a purely black shadow. His body melted away and rearranged itself into a humanoid form as a multitude of red eyes appeared on his head area. He began to laugh hysterically.
"Didn't expect that, did you, Heddy?" The Tormentor burst out laughing again. "But don't worry, I'm not here to wreck your battle! Where'd the fun be in that? Well, it'd be a lot of fun, but that's not the point! I'm just glad you took the bait and accepted nine entries in this little battle of yours, Heddy!"
"...Very well played, Tormy. What exactly are you planning?"
"No, don't worry! I'm just going to help you out a little! Goodbye, Heddy!" In a final burst of laughter, the Tormentor melted away into the floor.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Cail, look for a lightswitch. Can't see anything in here, and I don't really want to waste more energy lighting things up."Cailean chose instead to transfixedly stare behind Gaurinn, saying nothing.
"What, you scared of the dark or something? Cail, hello? Is there something behind me, or what?"
Gaurinn turned around to find a multitude of glowing eyes and a bright, jagged grin directly behind him. He yelled and discharged a massive bolt of electricity, which was casually absorbed into the shadow. Gaurinn dashed behind Cailean to hide.
"What the hell is that thing and what does it want with us? Go kill it!"
The thing in the shadow advanced forward as the doors slammed shut. Gaurinn had exhausted himself from his initial attack, and Cailean was too busy backing away in fear to do much of anything. Gaurinn whipped around to look at the soldier, intense anger bursting forth from his eyes.
"You idiot, kill it! The hell is wrong with you?" No response. "Okay, you know what? Give me that knife!"
Gaurinn rushed to Cailean's side and pulled the knife from its sheathe with his upper hands. Cailean gave no resistence, content in silently backing away from the approaching creature. Gaurinn sprung toward the shadowy abomination, attempting to plunge the knife into its face. A spindly black arm shot from the darkness and stopped the knife in mid-swing, taking hold of it and tossing it across the room. Gaurinn scuttled back to Cailean's side as quickly as possible, his eyes wide with fear.
"Okay, that didn't work. You! Shadowy freak! What do you want with us?" The creature responded with a grating, uncontrolled fit of laughter, perhaps one of the most horrible sounds either of them had ever heard. It began to speak in an equally disturbing voice, one that couldn't quite decide whether it was jovial or psychotic.
"What, me? Ha! Name's the Tormentor! And don't worry, I'm only here to make things more interesting in this little battle of yours! Don't bother running away, you won't get anywhere!"
"What the hell are you tal-" Before Gaurinn could finish, the Tormentor was suddenly standing between Cailean and him, holding Gaurinn up by the neck.
"No, don't bother talking! This won't take long at all! Now, let's see... Ah, he's left-handed. Good to know!"
The Tormentor immediately tore Cailean's left arm from its socket, prompting him to wince and double over in pain. The Tormentor proceeded to carefully rip out his entire spine, strangely causing no ill effects. Gaurinn continued to watch in horror as the Tormentor turned to him.
"Oh, no worries, centipede! It's your turn now!"
Gaurinn turned to run, but was immediately grabbed by several shadowy arms and lifted in the air. A strange feeling washed over his body, and he lost consciousness as a hideous laughter echoed through the air.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Gaurinn groggily came to in a very large, well-lit room. He tried to ignore the strange nightmare he'd just had; some kind of shadowy freak doing horrible things to Cailean and him... He shuddered to think about it.It was only as he tried to walk forward to investigate the strangely enormous laboratory that he discovered he was being held by something. He turned to the side to see Cailean lying on the ground, unconscious. He then turned further, finding that his body stopped exactly where the man's left arm should have been. He tried to pull away in a panic, but wasn't nearly strong enough to pull Cailean with him.
"Oh shit. Shit. Shit shit shit. Shit! Cailean, you worthless bastard, wake up! Wake! Up!" Gaurinn punctuated his sentences with small bursts of electricity into Cailean's face. The armored man eventually awoke from his sleep, immediately discovering four feet of centipede where his left arm should have been.
"...In the name of Maowyn, no."
"Yes, Cail. Yes. This just happened. This bullshit just happened! This is your fault, you idiot! If you'd done something instead of backing away like the asshole you are, we wouldn't be in this mess! We... you... that thing couldn't..." Gaurinn collapsed against Cailean's side as he stood up, too distraught to continue.
"You were the one who was so eager to go in here. But let's not waste our time blaming each other. We need to get you off of me first, yes?"
Gaurinn struggled to lift himself to face Cailean in the eyes. "Okay, sure. Whatever. I'm sure you have some magical solution hiding somewhere. After all, you solve all of our problems, Cailean! You've been so useful so far! Like murdering that guard! That was great! You know what, just open that door so we can get out of here."
Cailean unevenly stumbled toward the door, weighed down by the heavy centipede creature that had just replaced both his arm and his spine. Once more he stared at the controls for the door, but the smoke pouring out betrayed the fact that Gaurinn had destroyed this one, too.
"Well would you look at that, we're trapped here. Whatever, there's probably another exit somewhere. Why don't you take me there, chauffeur?"
Cailean turned around to investigate the rest of the large room, and, more importantly, to retrieve his knife. Standing before the pair, however, was a large, humanoid robot with three human brains crammed into a glass jar on its head. Various weapon systems dotted its metal surfaces, and all of them seemed to be warming up for battle.
"You are--INTRUD--ing in our base. I'M going to ᴍᴜʀder you. And all the ᴄᴀᴋᴇ is gone."