Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round 4: GBN2
07-14-2012, 11:33 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Not The Author.
“Unscheduled off-world activation!”
“Everyone, in position! All non-essential personnel are to evacuate the gate room immediately!”
“Chevron One encoded.”
“Who the hell is it this time?”
“General! We’re not sure, sir.”
“What d’you mean, we’re not sure? I thought we could track -”
“That’s just it, sir. All signs indicate we’re not being dialed through the known Gate network.”
“Chevron Two encoded.”
“Is that even possible?”
“Theoretically, yes. Someone may have reverse-engineered the Gate system and designed their own version. Wormholes aren’t that hard to make, relatively speaking, just… hard to keep stable without something like a Gate. Sir.”
“Chevron Three encoded.”
“What kind of being could do something like that?”
“Nothing we’ve encountered, sir, but the universe is a big place.”
“Well, let’s just hope they’re friendly.”
“Chevron Four-“
***
“I sought you said zhe systems vhere compatible.”
“They are.”
“Vell zhen, vhat’s taking so long?”
“Their hardware is severely outdated, and on top of that seems to be operating with bootleg software. We had to scour the archives to find something that would even register, and then create an entirely new program that would, essentially, translate two fundamentally different languages into each other simultaneously.”
“Couldn’t you jhust... uploadt modern softvhare onto zheir rigs, or...?”
“A, every time superior technology has been introduced to a less-developed civilization the results have been catastrophic; B... I don’t think you understand just how outdated we’re talking here.”
“Vhat, are zhey using dial-up, or somesing?”
***
“Chevron Five encoded.”
“Well, at least it’s not dialing itself this time.”
“Glad you could make it, chief.”
“What is it today? No, let me guess -”
“We don’t -”
“- we don’t know.”
“- know, sir. Yes. It’s like noth-”
“Like nothing we’ve ever seen before.”
“…Yes. Sir.”
“Chevron Six encoded.”
“Again.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m surprised that you still do.”
“We can’t all be cynics, sir.”
“Well, I’ll try to carry your weight for you, then.”
“Chevron Seven... locked.”
“Showtime.”
With an eruption of cosmic energies, the alien ring burst to life, filling out with blue plasma. The soldiers on guard took the Obligatory Period in which Nothing Happens to Build Tension to adjust their aim.
The plasma film rippled, and out stepped a six-limbed insectoid cyborg clad in a skin-tight white and blue jumpsuit. It was shortly followed by a floating, fleshy jellyfish wearing a black-and-red hat, an aging human male in a white-and-orange robe, and a half-human half-snake woman dressed in white-and-green gloves and belts and well-placed scales. They all seemed to look over themselves, old man muttering something about not believing it’d worked, before noticing all the armed guards present.
The bee-person waved an arm. “At-ease.” It didn’t work. “I’m High Admiral and Chief Administrator Itzel of Exoplanet VII. These are my Chief Librarian, Archivist Bartholomew LeBeau...” The robed man bowed deeply. “...Chief Medical Officer, Ambassador Sithembil Ameretat...” The snake-woman purred, and... jiggled a bit. “...and Chief Fleet Commander, General, ah... Terrence? Terrence.” The jellyfish waved.
“Normally I’d ask to see whoever your leader is, and we’d have peace talks, and then one or the other of us would betray the other for some reason or another, who really cares; but today we’re here on business. Best you can do is not interfere.”
The tetrad moved towards one of the heavily guarded blast doors, but were intercepted, to no one’s surprise, by the guards guarding the blast door. Itzel clutched her head and sighed. “Look, do you want to do this the easy way, or not?” The guards made no response. “Fine. I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no alternative.”
Itzel looked directly into the camera. “Cut!”
“Unscheduled off-world activation!”
“Everyone, in position! All non-essential personnel are to evacuate the gate room immediately!”
“Chevron One encoded.”
“Who the hell is it this time?”
“General! We’re not sure, sir.”
“What d’you mean, we’re not sure? I thought we could track -”
“That’s just it, sir. All signs indicate we’re not being dialed through the known Gate network.”
“Chevron Two encoded.”
“Is that even possible?”
“Theoretically, yes. Someone may have reverse-engineered the Gate system and designed their own version. Wormholes aren’t that hard to make, relatively speaking, just… hard to keep stable without something like a Gate. Sir.”
“Chevron Three encoded.”
“What kind of being could do something like that?”
“Nothing we’ve encountered, sir, but the universe is a big place.”
“Well, let’s just hope they’re friendly.”
“Chevron Four-“
***
“I sought you said zhe systems vhere compatible.”
“They are.”
“Vell zhen, vhat’s taking so long?”
“Their hardware is severely outdated, and on top of that seems to be operating with bootleg software. We had to scour the archives to find something that would even register, and then create an entirely new program that would, essentially, translate two fundamentally different languages into each other simultaneously.”
“Couldn’t you jhust... uploadt modern softvhare onto zheir rigs, or...?”
“A, every time superior technology has been introduced to a less-developed civilization the results have been catastrophic; B... I don’t think you understand just how outdated we’re talking here.”
“Vhat, are zhey using dial-up, or somesing?”
***
“Chevron Five encoded.”
“Well, at least it’s not dialing itself this time.”
“Glad you could make it, chief.”
“What is it today? No, let me guess -”
“We don’t -”
“- we don’t know.”
“- know, sir. Yes. It’s like noth-”
“Like nothing we’ve ever seen before.”
“…Yes. Sir.”
“Chevron Six encoded.”
“Again.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“I’m surprised that you still do.”
“We can’t all be cynics, sir.”
“Well, I’ll try to carry your weight for you, then.”
“Chevron Seven... locked.”
“Showtime.”
With an eruption of cosmic energies, the alien ring burst to life, filling out with blue plasma. The soldiers on guard took the Obligatory Period in which Nothing Happens to Build Tension to adjust their aim.
The plasma film rippled, and out stepped a six-limbed insectoid cyborg clad in a skin-tight white and blue jumpsuit. It was shortly followed by a floating, fleshy jellyfish wearing a black-and-red hat, an aging human male in a white-and-orange robe, and a half-human half-snake woman dressed in white-and-green gloves and belts and well-placed scales. They all seemed to look over themselves, old man muttering something about not believing it’d worked, before noticing all the armed guards present.
The bee-person waved an arm. “At-ease.” It didn’t work. “I’m High Admiral and Chief Administrator Itzel of Exoplanet VII. These are my Chief Librarian, Archivist Bartholomew LeBeau...” The robed man bowed deeply. “...Chief Medical Officer, Ambassador Sithembil Ameretat...” The snake-woman purred, and... jiggled a bit. “...and Chief Fleet Commander, General, ah... Terrence? Terrence.” The jellyfish waved.
“Normally I’d ask to see whoever your leader is, and we’d have peace talks, and then one or the other of us would betray the other for some reason or another, who really cares; but today we’re here on business. Best you can do is not interfere.”
The tetrad moved towards one of the heavily guarded blast doors, but were intercepted, to no one’s surprise, by the guards guarding the blast door. Itzel clutched her head and sighed. “Look, do you want to do this the easy way, or not?” The guards made no response. “Fine. I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no alternative.”
Itzel looked directly into the camera. “Cut!”