The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round 4: GBN2 Not Affiliated With The Network]
06-19-2012, 02:31 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-08-2013, 05:36 AM by MaxieSatan.)
Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.
The contestants returned, less a man with a power tool for a hand, to find a djinni sucking down margaritas and a man in a suit waist-deep in forms.
The Hedonist clapped. "Excellent job, everyone! Congratulations on making it this far. As a prize, all of you will receive complimentary balloons." With a wave of his hands, these appeared, one tied to each contestant's wrist; in turn, another sheet of paper materialized on the desk, eliciting a groan from Crumb. "Careful, Gaurinn. You don't want your friend to pop it!" He laughed, then cleared his throat.
"Your next destination will be the Grand Battle Network 2® Not Affiliated With The Network. Hopefully, you'll be able to make some friends, maybe find some things to kill each other with! Don't bother trying to escape, though!" He proceeded to give a long wink; Crumb sighed heavily. The Hedonist glanced at him and chuckled. "Ah, yes, I almost forgot. You'll be having company, won't they, Crumb?"
The man in the lime-green hat stared back at him, confused. "I'm afraid you've lost me, sir."
"You're going with them, Crumb! I want autographs, after all, as many as you can get!"
"Sir, I'm still dealing with the paperwork from the lawsuits, in addition to the fact that we're over budget..."
The Hedonist narrowed his eyes, breathing deeply. "Crumb, I do hope you aren't questioning my orders?"
The man in the lime-green hat took a long, deep breath. "No, sir. I'll get right on it." Gerald Crumb stood tall, scowling, and with a wave of his hand, The Hedonist sent everyone away.
And with his study now emptied, the djinni floated over to the desk and picked up a single form; or, more accurately, two forms hastily stapled together, so that no matter how much you twisted the individual pieces of paper you couldn't quite get them to match up. Picking up a red permanent marker and smiling ever-so-slightly, he wrote five words directly above the first entrant's name:
EXTENSION/REPLACEMENT: CONTACT, RETRIEVE GODDESS.
-----------
"Lights!" The floodlights in the ceiling flicked on, illuminating the host's yellow-green body. It twinkled, as it should, given the hours of make-up devoted to it every day.
Meanwhile, a man in a white mask, a grey shirt and jeans frantically jogged back and forth, making sure everyone and everything was in place. "Camera one?"
One of his employees, a man in a rather uncharacteristic top-hat and mustache, gave him the thumbs up. "All set, old chum!"
"Camera two?"
The other cameraman, a shadowy figure with a second camera hanging from his neck, nodded and yawned. "Check!"
"Get ready to roll in three, two, one, cue intro!" The masked man pointed up at the booth; the first few bars of the opening theme played, and the crowd went wild. The man in the booth leaned forward and grabbed the microphone.
"Live, from GBN2® NAWTN Studio 3, it's Chrononomics, with your host Kracht! Our guests today are Adrian O'Gearailt and Coy Spender, here to discuss their new book Creation And Destruction: How to Make Wealth-Based Magic Work for You!"
The audience clapped until Kracht gave them the obligatory "settle down" motion, at which point they promptly settled into their seats. He slowly lowered himself into a leather armchair. "Thanks for the applause, folks. 80% of the time it's nowhere near as loud. Now then, before we speak with our guests, I'd like to discuss why President Doubledecker's four-year plan is almost certainly-"
In a spectacular flash of light, a man in a lime-green hat and a business suit slammed against the ground. There was a long pause before the host cleared his throat and shuffled his notecards.
"Could security come down here, please?"
The contestants returned, less a man with a power tool for a hand, to find a djinni sucking down margaritas and a man in a suit waist-deep in forms.
The Hedonist clapped. "Excellent job, everyone! Congratulations on making it this far. As a prize, all of you will receive complimentary balloons." With a wave of his hands, these appeared, one tied to each contestant's wrist; in turn, another sheet of paper materialized on the desk, eliciting a groan from Crumb. "Careful, Gaurinn. You don't want your friend to pop it!" He laughed, then cleared his throat.
"Your next destination will be the Grand Battle Network 2® Not Affiliated With The Network. Hopefully, you'll be able to make some friends, maybe find some things to kill each other with! Don't bother trying to escape, though!" He proceeded to give a long wink; Crumb sighed heavily. The Hedonist glanced at him and chuckled. "Ah, yes, I almost forgot. You'll be having company, won't they, Crumb?"
The man in the lime-green hat stared back at him, confused. "I'm afraid you've lost me, sir."
"You're going with them, Crumb! I want autographs, after all, as many as you can get!"
"Sir, I'm still dealing with the paperwork from the lawsuits, in addition to the fact that we're over budget..."
The Hedonist narrowed his eyes, breathing deeply. "Crumb, I do hope you aren't questioning my orders?"
The man in the lime-green hat took a long, deep breath. "No, sir. I'll get right on it." Gerald Crumb stood tall, scowling, and with a wave of his hand, The Hedonist sent everyone away.
And with his study now emptied, the djinni floated over to the desk and picked up a single form; or, more accurately, two forms hastily stapled together, so that no matter how much you twisted the individual pieces of paper you couldn't quite get them to match up. Picking up a red permanent marker and smiling ever-so-slightly, he wrote five words directly above the first entrant's name:
EXTENSION/REPLACEMENT: CONTACT, RETRIEVE GODDESS.
-----------
"Lights!" The floodlights in the ceiling flicked on, illuminating the host's yellow-green body. It twinkled, as it should, given the hours of make-up devoted to it every day.
Meanwhile, a man in a white mask, a grey shirt and jeans frantically jogged back and forth, making sure everyone and everything was in place. "Camera one?"
One of his employees, a man in a rather uncharacteristic top-hat and mustache, gave him the thumbs up. "All set, old chum!"
"Camera two?"
The other cameraman, a shadowy figure with a second camera hanging from his neck, nodded and yawned. "Check!"
"Get ready to roll in three, two, one, cue intro!" The masked man pointed up at the booth; the first few bars of the opening theme played, and the crowd went wild. The man in the booth leaned forward and grabbed the microphone.
"Live, from GBN2® NAWTN Studio 3, it's Chrononomics, with your host Kracht! Our guests today are Adrian O'Gearailt and Coy Spender, here to discuss their new book Creation And Destruction: How to Make Wealth-Based Magic Work for You!"
The audience clapped until Kracht gave them the obligatory "settle down" motion, at which point they promptly settled into their seats. He slowly lowered himself into a leather armchair. "Thanks for the applause, folks. 80% of the time it's nowhere near as loud. Now then, before we speak with our guests, I'd like to discuss why President Doubledecker's four-year plan is almost certainly-"
In a spectacular flash of light, a man in a lime-green hat and a business suit slammed against the ground. There was a long pause before the host cleared his throat and shuffled his notecards.
"Could security come down here, please?"
Spoiler