Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round Three: The Epigen Center]
03-23-2012, 03:00 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Anomaly.
"Are you fucking happy now, you psychopath? Stop laughing! Shut the fuck up, Cailean!"
Cailean did not shut the fuck up. Nor did he shut up at all. The corpse of what might have once been a researcher continued to leak blood all over the floor as Cailean's horrible, gurgling laughter surged across the room. Panicked employees stumbled over each other, now running both from whatever had exploded and from the laughing, half-dead, murderous idiot which the centipede unfortunately remained attached to. Gaurinn continued to scream profanities over the cacophony of voices, but it wasn't exactly of any use. When the thing formerly known as Cailean began to lunge at another hapless researcher, Gaurinn decided to take more immediate action.
A surge of electricity traveled directly into Cailean's half-rotted brain from Gaurinn's conspicuously fully-intact body. Gaurinn didn't exactly have any idea what he's doing, but, fortunately enough, this electricity apparently stimulated the zombie's legs to ignore their owner and send them tumbling to the floor. Gaurinn's multitude of eyes widened. It had actually worked. Cailean frantically clambered to his feet and went after a screaming janitor, only to be brought down a second time. And a third. After the third he seemed content to lie on the ground and attempt to figure out why his legs had betrayed him. Significantly less enraged, Gaurinn tried sending a pulse somewhere else.
Cailean punched himself in the face. Gaurinn laughed.
It didn't take too long for Cailean to figure out that no, he wasn't going to eat everyone else, and yes, if he tried he would in fact end up on the ground again. "Now," the centipede began, "we're going to do our job exactly as we're told so that I don't get killed if we get fired. Yes, me, who cares what happens to you? You're already dead. In fact, maybe I can just get you fired. It might work. Nah, they'd fire both of us anyway. I don't think I ever got to congratulate you for being so fucking terrible at dying and living at the same time, by the way, so great job on that."
Cailean grumbled something in response. It seemed like, after Gaurinn had gotten him away from the mob, he had finally noticed the object in his hand. It was... well, it was red. Gaurinn could tell that much. He couldn't exactly tell what it was or what it was supposed to do, and he didn't particularly feel like finding out. He told Cailean to just hold onto it and preferably to not break it. Cailean was content enough to keep staring at it. Maybe he was hoping it would tell him where he could murder some more people. Maybe it was actually talking to him. Oh wait, that was stupid. Probably.
Finally not having to worry about Cailean eating anything that moved (and several things that didn't), Gaurinn took some time to think for once. What the hell was even happening? That morning he had been preparing for an alleged suicide mission, and the next, he was in a restaurant that wasn't, replacing the arm of an idiot who would later become a zombie and
wait
If Cailean was a zombie, he wondered, why wasn't Gaurinn even slightly dead? Typically being biologically fused to something that isn't all that alive would result in at least partial death. Wouldn't it? Maybe... Maybe he wasn't actually as bound to Cailean as he previously thought. Maybe, just maybe, if he could get a hold of something sharp, he could cut himself loose... Who was he kidding? Things making sense had gone out the window the moment he had appeared in front of that genie in the first place. It had taken him a while to even realize he was in a battle to the death. Even now he didn't really know who everyone in it even was, and naturally, the only one he could possibly interact with was the one who had first been an idiot and now was virtually brain-dead.
Oh look, you're not even trying to do anything about it. What can you do about it? Goddammit, just drive this idiot somewhere else. Maybe they're researching a separation device I don't know this is so goddamn stupid
"Cailean, we're going somewhere. Can you break away from that orb for one moment?"
"Mmmmeeeeenggghghhh."
"Good enough. Just follow this hallway here, you decaying asshole. And don't fucking kill anyone, okay?"
Cailean responded by trying to kill the security guard that walked around the corner with very poor timing. He was immediately shocked into submission and stood back up reluctantly.
"Sorry about that. We'll be on our way now."
"No, you won't," the shades-bearing, mustached guard replied. "There's been a breach down in Sector C, and the... things are getting out. It's been decided that the two of you are better suited to stopping them than you are to anything else, so, go do that. And by the way," he said, glancing back toward the laboratory the pair had recently exited, "keep your friend in check, insect." Without so much as telling them what things they were supposed to stop or where Sector C even was, the guard walked away.
"Shit," Gaurinn added.
"Are you fucking happy now, you psychopath? Stop laughing! Shut the fuck up, Cailean!"
Cailean did not shut the fuck up. Nor did he shut up at all. The corpse of what might have once been a researcher continued to leak blood all over the floor as Cailean's horrible, gurgling laughter surged across the room. Panicked employees stumbled over each other, now running both from whatever had exploded and from the laughing, half-dead, murderous idiot which the centipede unfortunately remained attached to. Gaurinn continued to scream profanities over the cacophony of voices, but it wasn't exactly of any use. When the thing formerly known as Cailean began to lunge at another hapless researcher, Gaurinn decided to take more immediate action.
A surge of electricity traveled directly into Cailean's half-rotted brain from Gaurinn's conspicuously fully-intact body. Gaurinn didn't exactly have any idea what he's doing, but, fortunately enough, this electricity apparently stimulated the zombie's legs to ignore their owner and send them tumbling to the floor. Gaurinn's multitude of eyes widened. It had actually worked. Cailean frantically clambered to his feet and went after a screaming janitor, only to be brought down a second time. And a third. After the third he seemed content to lie on the ground and attempt to figure out why his legs had betrayed him. Significantly less enraged, Gaurinn tried sending a pulse somewhere else.
Cailean punched himself in the face. Gaurinn laughed.
It didn't take too long for Cailean to figure out that no, he wasn't going to eat everyone else, and yes, if he tried he would in fact end up on the ground again. "Now," the centipede began, "we're going to do our job exactly as we're told so that I don't get killed if we get fired. Yes, me, who cares what happens to you? You're already dead. In fact, maybe I can just get you fired. It might work. Nah, they'd fire both of us anyway. I don't think I ever got to congratulate you for being so fucking terrible at dying and living at the same time, by the way, so great job on that."
Cailean grumbled something in response. It seemed like, after Gaurinn had gotten him away from the mob, he had finally noticed the object in his hand. It was... well, it was red. Gaurinn could tell that much. He couldn't exactly tell what it was or what it was supposed to do, and he didn't particularly feel like finding out. He told Cailean to just hold onto it and preferably to not break it. Cailean was content enough to keep staring at it. Maybe he was hoping it would tell him where he could murder some more people. Maybe it was actually talking to him. Oh wait, that was stupid. Probably.
Finally not having to worry about Cailean eating anything that moved (and several things that didn't), Gaurinn took some time to think for once. What the hell was even happening? That morning he had been preparing for an alleged suicide mission, and the next, he was in a restaurant that wasn't, replacing the arm of an idiot who would later become a zombie and
wait
If Cailean was a zombie, he wondered, why wasn't Gaurinn even slightly dead? Typically being biologically fused to something that isn't all that alive would result in at least partial death. Wouldn't it? Maybe... Maybe he wasn't actually as bound to Cailean as he previously thought. Maybe, just maybe, if he could get a hold of something sharp, he could cut himself loose... Who was he kidding? Things making sense had gone out the window the moment he had appeared in front of that genie in the first place. It had taken him a while to even realize he was in a battle to the death. Even now he didn't really know who everyone in it even was, and naturally, the only one he could possibly interact with was the one who had first been an idiot and now was virtually brain-dead.
Oh look, you're not even trying to do anything about it. What can you do about it? Goddammit, just drive this idiot somewhere else. Maybe they're researching a separation device I don't know this is so goddamn stupid
"Cailean, we're going somewhere. Can you break away from that orb for one moment?"
"Mmmmeeeeenggghghhh."
"Good enough. Just follow this hallway here, you decaying asshole. And don't fucking kill anyone, okay?"
Cailean responded by trying to kill the security guard that walked around the corner with very poor timing. He was immediately shocked into submission and stood back up reluctantly.
"Sorry about that. We'll be on our way now."
"No, you won't," the shades-bearing, mustached guard replied. "There's been a breach down in Sector C, and the... things are getting out. It's been decided that the two of you are better suited to stopping them than you are to anything else, so, go do that. And by the way," he said, glancing back toward the laboratory the pair had recently exited, "keep your friend in check, insect." Without so much as telling them what things they were supposed to stop or where Sector C even was, the guard walked away.
"Shit," Gaurinn added.