Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round One: The "Denny's"]
05-29-2011, 06:37 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by TimeothyHour.
When you’re an animate object, you begin to notice one distinct thing: people are pretty careless when it comes to your inanimate brethren.
This fact had been waved in Etiyr’s face once again by the stupid, overly confident, cocky idiot Quantos, who just kind of threw Etiyr’s rant back on the floor instead of destroying it like he had promised. Of course, the typewriter had tried to manipulate him in an honestly pretty pitiful way, but still Quantos was a jerk and Etiyr hated him a little more than everyone else in the world. Etiyr would write another rant if he wasn’t concerned about it ruining his ability to manipulate.
Stupid fucking stupid “Time Cyborg,” or whatever, the Typewriter thought to himself. I hope he dies from something really stupid, like tripping over a stick.
And Etiyr STILL didn’t have anyone to manipulate. For whatever reason hot Etiyr potato was a really popular game today. If it could, the typewriter would have grumbled swears under its breath, but Etiyr didn’t have a mouth or lungs, which seemed to aggravate it even more. Instead, it furiously pounded the “C” key has fast as it could.
Fucking bipedal apes not appreciating what they have, legs and walking and mouths and flesh. I used to fucking torture them for laughs, and now I’m some pitiful typewriter pandering to humans like some sort of stupid pansy. Fuck them, fuck them so much.
But I need to calm myself. Emotion is what’s preventing me from manipulating these fucking mindless sheep. Get right back up from this and start back on what you do best; manipulating people! You can’t let Quantos or Badge-face show you up; pull out all the stops! LET’S DO THIS!
After a while, a muffled voice came from the other side of the wall, “What in the name of Maowyn is that noise!?”
Etiyr chuckled inwardly. Perfect. New prey.
“That’s probably Etiyr, the typewriter guy. He makes that annoying noise when he’s trying to get your attention. I’m going to make a point of avoiding him right now.”
Fuck you, Gaurinn, fuck you forever. You don’t even know that I use the genderless pronoun.
“That noise is unbelievably jarring, Gaurinn. I would prefer it if we could make it stop.”
“Well, then you go stop it.”
“But-”
“If we all met Etiyr, he’d end up joining our group, and we have too many people in our little party anyways. So you go shut him up.”
“…fine…” replied the fresh prey, the sound of his footsteps music to Etiyr’s ears.
Success.
When you’re an animate object, you begin to notice one distinct thing: people are pretty careless when it comes to your inanimate brethren.
This fact had been waved in Etiyr’s face once again by the stupid, overly confident, cocky idiot Quantos, who just kind of threw Etiyr’s rant back on the floor instead of destroying it like he had promised. Of course, the typewriter had tried to manipulate him in an honestly pretty pitiful way, but still Quantos was a jerk and Etiyr hated him a little more than everyone else in the world. Etiyr would write another rant if he wasn’t concerned about it ruining his ability to manipulate.
Stupid fucking stupid “Time Cyborg,” or whatever, the Typewriter thought to himself. I hope he dies from something really stupid, like tripping over a stick.
And Etiyr STILL didn’t have anyone to manipulate. For whatever reason hot Etiyr potato was a really popular game today. If it could, the typewriter would have grumbled swears under its breath, but Etiyr didn’t have a mouth or lungs, which seemed to aggravate it even more. Instead, it furiously pounded the “C” key has fast as it could.
Fucking bipedal apes not appreciating what they have, legs and walking and mouths and flesh. I used to fucking torture them for laughs, and now I’m some pitiful typewriter pandering to humans like some sort of stupid pansy. Fuck them, fuck them so much.
But I need to calm myself. Emotion is what’s preventing me from manipulating these fucking mindless sheep. Get right back up from this and start back on what you do best; manipulating people! You can’t let Quantos or Badge-face show you up; pull out all the stops! LET’S DO THIS!
After a while, a muffled voice came from the other side of the wall, “What in the name of Maowyn is that noise!?”
Etiyr chuckled inwardly. Perfect. New prey.
“That’s probably Etiyr, the typewriter guy. He makes that annoying noise when he’s trying to get your attention. I’m going to make a point of avoiding him right now.”
Fuck you, Gaurinn, fuck you forever. You don’t even know that I use the genderless pronoun.
“That noise is unbelievably jarring, Gaurinn. I would prefer it if we could make it stop.”
“Well, then you go stop it.”
“But-”
“If we all met Etiyr, he’d end up joining our group, and we have too many people in our little party anyways. So you go shut him up.”
“…fine…” replied the fresh prey, the sound of his footsteps music to Etiyr’s ears.
Success.