The thread for flipping shits (and tables)

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SpoilerAnd from the sound of it, you’re dealing with a fleet of clown cars. In truth, sounds like somewhere I was at when I was in high school (one key difference—didn’t care for the therapy. I was forced into it, and that makes everything worse).

I would say, definitely don’t try to do everything on your own. There are some things—big and important ones—that ultimately require you to take complete personal responsibility for things to change; these things don’t actually take that much effort or time, because the payoffs are tremendous anyway. And a lot of people (who may or may not be well adjusted themselves) can see only that in others. They can’t see whatever it is that torments you. They may not even be trusting you with the chance to fulfill said responsibilities. Frankly, a lot of older people honestly don’t realize/remember what a typical workload is like in school today (at least in America). That’s where they’re at; it’s pure bozo-ism, try to let it slide off because they can’t tell you to think things you need to have thought of yourself.

But contrary to my own statement, I’ll tell you what to think, and you can decide whether you agree. How’s that?

In the past month, I read a couple of really good books.

One is Getting Things Done by Dave Allen. If I had known the techniques in it, I think my schoolwork would have gone a lot more smoothly. Thing is, the first edition came out when I was in 8th grade and was mostly geared towards business; all the systems the schools tried to get me to use didn’t work the same way (color code your classes, they said, write it in your calendar, they said). Anyway, the crux of it is making sure you write down all the stuff you’re supposed to do and what you’re supposed to do about it; the rest is sorting it out, making sure you know where all of it is and what to do about it when it needs to be done. Ultimately, that kind of system also helps you understand what you’re okay with not doing, because it just won’t be at the back of your mind. The is one of the best I’ve ever read; but you can get the gist of it online since you’re probably strapped for time and cash (but who isn’t?).

The other one is Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. It is a much lighter read, the condensed version is this 1hr Google Talk with the author. While it’s technically about negotiation, the truth is that if we don’t really know how to negotiate, we don’t form equitable, thought-out agreements. Then we don’t understand why we got screwed so bad, or why someone who seemed so ready to help us out the other day is suddenly very angry with us (it’s hardly an excuse, but they might be somewhat justified!).

Also in the past couple of years, I came across something that more and more self-help authors are including in their books these days. The exercise boils down to something like this: pick a realistic but best-possible life situation you can imagine, somewhere from 6 months to 5 years out (most people who aren’t 20 yet should rather try out the lower end of that), and start putting together a step-by-step plan for how you get there in that timeframe. Especially important to hash out is the first step. The first step will probably be something physical, very easy to do, and that’s the key, because you know it’s easy so you’ll probably do it.

The reason I’m talking about productivity here is that most people are starved for wins. Racking up real achievements, and framing them in a way that makes them feel like real achievements, is how you get those wins. It is not a “cure” for depression per se (if that is what it is). But you might find it necessary to work your way towards the help you need. I found that this alone is good enough for me.

And never forget: some bozos promise they’ll just go away if you do nothing. They haven’t already. They won’t.