Spoiler

AT THE VULPITANIAN EMBASSY

Quote:>Percy: Note how strange it is that they would keep their files in the kitchen. Suddenly you are not alone.
>Percy: Suddenly regret your large luncheon of cornbread and chestnut dressing.
(Brave Percy) Deny, upon being questioned, that you are: (a) Percy, and (b) a squab.
(Vulps) Assume: (a) that this fur is telling the truth, or (b) he's being very Vulpitanian.
(Brave Percy) Flee with the files!
Percy, turn around in panic. See a most hideous creature standing in the doorway behind you.
Klown, make a grab for Percy.

Percy heard a sound behind him, and turned around to see two uniformed foxes and one very strangely-dressed fox enter the room. The strangely-dressed fox held a knife. The others carried a baster and a medium sized roasting pan. Percy noticed with alarm that the filing cabinet on the opposite wall was not a filing cabinet at all, but a large oven.

"R U Percy le Gobbly, teh lofolk squab?" the oddly-dressed fox inquired ominously.

"Nope," Percy replied. "Not me at all."

"You're not Percy le Gobelet?" one of the uniformed foxes asked suspiciously.

"Nope," Percy reiterated. "My name is Stanley, and I'm not a squab. I'm an agent."

"Conference," the strangely-dressed fox exclaimed, and the three foxes leaned together into a huddle.



"Wut do we do now?" the oddly-dressed fox whispered. "He sez hes not teh squab."

"He sure looks like a squab," the baster-wielding fox whispered back. "And he matches the description of Percy from the files."

"Ist ve not havink der roasted sqvab after all?" the pan-bearing fox sighed.

"Maybe hes doing that lofolk thing," the strangely-attired fox theorized. "U no, lying."

"Maybe, but how can we find out if he is or not?"

"Ax him sum moar questions?"

"How will that prove anything? He could just keep on giving incorrect answers."

"Zis vas very schneaky of him."

"Yes, if it wasn't depriving us of the main course for the Banquet, I'd say it was almost admirably Vulpitanian. He's a credit to the uniform."

"I vote we tackle him & search him 4 other signs he is teh one."

"I vote ve cook him anyvay. Who ist goink to know der difference?"

The foxes turned around, but Percy was nowhere to be seen.



"Absconded with the files the bird has," Adoyret Sam explained, fingering his beads as he entered the file kitchen. "Of you all, fools he has made. For a Klown not hard this is - but in you other two, disappointed I am."

Spoiler

NEARBY



"That's right, young elf," Detective Glenholm Webb stated smugly as he puffed on his pipe. "I suspect that Miss Charmina Chubb is none other than SALV Valerie Kraekenhoepfer herself, traveling incognito."

"She's put on a lot of weight," Lemmy observed skeptically.

"I suspect that may be a glamer or other magickal disguise. Now suppose you tell me about the vixen you've been trailing."

"I, er, don't think I should discuss that any further," Lemmy stammered nervously. "It was a mistake."

Spoiler

IN THE HALL OF ANCESTORS

"It tasteth fine," one Ixie said, after sampling the sugar.

"I can detect no toxins or impurities," another stated, after tapping the sugar vigorously with her antennae.

The third Ixie decended and they began to eat.

Quote:>Ixies: Eat the sugar without a second thought

"OHH SHISHTERSH, THAT WAZH WONNERFUL," one of the Ixies declared a few minutes later as the other two hoisted her up between them. "I FEEL WONNERFUL. I LOVE THEE ALL, THOU KNOWESHT THAT?"

"It was quite good," another Ixie agreed as she sucked the last traces of sugar off her fingers. "But thou always overdoest it."

"Aye, thou'st never learned to pace thyself," the third Ixie agreed. "Try to save some for later. Thou'rt going to have one Netherhells of a headache, ere long."

"You have partaken of my sugar," Alice declared behind them. "That means now you are under my employ."

Spoiler

Quote:Ixies, try resisting.
>Nuhuh lady, nice try, but you're not the first trying to exploit that loophole. Ixie reguaion 'clear, stuff on the floor in a place that ain' yours sure doesn't count as payment unless a deal was discussed first or you gave it from your own hand.
>Ixies: "HA! You can't control us!

"Thou'rt misinformed, vile Tailipo," one of the Ixies answered haughtily. "A contract was not discussed and we received no payment from thy hand. Sugar we found on the floor obliges us to nought."



"I have more," Alice replied smoothly, holding out her hand.

"GADS!" one of the Ixies gasped. "Look at it! So sweet .. so white .. so glistening .. there's enough there to keep us buzzing for days."

"Be strong, sisters. Remember, this is the wicked creature that -"

"What wouldst thou have us do?" the third Ixie cooed as she clutched drunkenly at Alice's fingers.

Spoiler

Quote:Glenholm Webb, Lemmy is obviously not going to answer about his Vixen of interest directly.
>Glenholm: Flawlessly and exactly deduce who it is Lemmy is tailing, what's going on, and even what the current volatile situation is.

"You mean it was a mistake to have mentioned it to me at all," Glenholm Webb deduced. "Perhaps it was, young elf. Perhaps it was. For, if I'm not mistaken .. you said you followed her from the Gladsome Antglade .. that means you are the missing Agent Lemeuel O'Possum .. in which case .. considering your other hints .. this supposed vixen Relda Fauxfox is actually the rebellious Prince Adler in a transmogrified guise, the same form he must have used to sabotage the Vulpitanian Embassy several months ago. By the Lady! So he really was guilty! That means you must be a turncoat currently in service to the Duchess of Daisies, and the Prince is here on a mission of .. hmm .. I would have guessed sabotage or assassination, but the two of you have wasted several perfect opportunities so that can't be your objective. Perhaps .. if Prince Adler doesn't know you're following him, then he may have come out of brotherly affection, to warn the Emperor of his approaching army and the Duchess's not-so-secret ambition."

Spoiler

Quote:Klown and his minions, track down Percy.
>Miss Chubb: Read the file.

Percy half-flew, half-scampered back to the plaza, which was a pandemonium of flying pies and pie-like objects. He dodged through the confusion and slid under the pie-eating table on the contest stage.

"You haff der files?" the portly vixen asked him. "Giff zem to me."



"Not much here," she mused as she flipped through the pages. "Fuma in himmel! Zo, zat vas her, vas it? Hmm, zis changes everyzing."

"Er, I don't mean to be rude," Percy interjected. "But I think someone is following me, and I really should be moving on."

"No vun vill dare touch you as lonk as you are mit me," Miss Chubb stated calmly. "Zo schtay put. Zat is ein order."

Spoiler
>Fifi: Shadow Alder. Your mission continues...

SpoilerMy condolences to whoever gets hit with that pie containing a lead weight.

Spoiler
In the Hall of Ancestors

Quote:>Alice: The two not-dumb Ixies flee the scene. Looks like you only have one Ixie servant. Oh well, you'll make do.

Two of the Ixies flew away in alarm, leaving their less-wise sister hanging onto Alice's hand.

"It's very simple," the vixen explained. "I just want you to tell King Estmere the truth about himself now that Nidab and Semos have done their work."

"I don't think I can do that," the Ixie murmured.



"Then I don't think I have sugar for you," Alice stated, closing her hand.

"Aw, come on," the Ixie wheedled. "Thou'rt being unreasonable. How would I even find the King right now?"

"As a matter of fact, I'm expecting him here quite shortly," Alice smirked.

Quote:Estmere, be pooked somewhere completely unexpected.
Estmere's "kidnapper", do not be working for the sisterhood. Be following a completely different Plan.
(HM King Estmere) Be baffled as to where you are.
(HM King Estmere) Be baffled as to where the gi-raffe babe went.
(HM King Estmere) Get nervous. Start hitting out randomly with your fists.

Several aisles away, Estmere appeared with a soft pook.

"What in the Netherhells?" he muttered. "Kidnapping, is it? Well, whoever you are, I hope you're ready, cuz you got a fight on your hands."



"Peace, husband," Queen Edessa whispered. "It was I who brought you here."

"Really? Why? You wanna do it in the Hall of Ancestors? That's kinda morbid and kinky, babe, but if that's what you're into .."

"No," Edessa sighed. "Not right now. You are in great danger, my love. I have read your doom in the Red Book of Appin, and its time draws near. Perhaps the Vulpitanians mean you harm -"

"Nah, the Vulps are cool," Estmere insisted. "They helped us conceive an elflet, and this goofy Convention is just a show of goodwill."

"Nevertheless, you would be safer away from the heart of their so-called festival of pies. Furthermore your rebellious brother lies poised to besiege or invade the city."

"Adler wouldn't hurt me," Estmere scoffed. "Psh. I'd like to see him try. I'd mop the floor with him."

"He may have the backing of the Duchess of Daisies," the Queen whispered. "In either case, the Book clearly indicates you are in danger. For my sake and the sake of our unborn child, please stay here in the Hall where it is safe. Stay until the danger is past."

"It's not my style to hide, babe. But since you asked so sincerely, I'll sit tight til you feel okay."

Spoiler

On the street

Quote:Klown, find "Percy"
Klowns: Grab someone in the crowd you think is Percy but it is really another agent. Refuse to listen to his cries

"I've got you now, Percy le Squab," the Klown growled as he shackled a suspect's hands behind his back.

"You've got the wrong guy!" the suspect gekkered back. "I'm no squab! I'm Stanley! Stanley Cheapbeaks! I'm an undercover agent!"

"I'm not falling for that again," the Klown barked angrily.

Spoiler

Quote:Glenholm Webb, start deducing other things about Adler and Lemmy.
Lemmy, be embarrassed. Don't know if you'd rather giggle nervously or smash Glenholm over the head with a a heavy object.
>Lemmy: He really, really isn't supposed to have found that out. No one's supposed to know this. It's really unfortunate that you're going to have to *silence* your sleuth-idol if you don't want to face the Duchess's wrath. It's also doubly unfortunate that Glenholm deduced that too and was ready to counter by demonstrating his skill as a boxer in addition to his skills as a detective.

"That would imply," the great detective Webb continued, "that you are here as an Antglade operative, to keep tabs on the Prince and make sure things do not go contrary to the Duchess' plans. Are you reporting back to her via scry-orb, perhaps? I deduce now that it will be your duty to try to silence me. Very well, young elf, you may make the attempt. But I warn you: I am a master of Frog-Jitsu."