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+---- Thread: Loather Status (/showthread.php?tid=1189)
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
i was feeling sort of ok and productive and now i just feel
scared
vaguely dysphoric
feeling my entire existence stolen from me by shitty fulltime work
and on top of all of that, theres a deep visceral feeling that anything i make will go beyond being bad into outright disastrous, like harmful to my health, a waste of time i dont have enough of, even though i need that fulfillment
i cant do anything because of these feelings, i just want to stop being a trainwreck, i just want to chill a bit and appreciate life
but i cant even enjoy doing nothing because i have so little time
and these feelings are shutting me down so hard
im just. fucking doomed huh
:\
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
plus. cassie was splitting her hrt meds with me til like, two weeks ago, cause she ran out, and all the good trans feelings i had? yeah those wore off
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
i dont have health insurance or energy im broke and i cant do anything even though i lost my family over this and i jsut
wish it were better than this
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
why is there no way out. why cant i exist
rhetorical question our entire society is hell
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
it sucks so much though
like without my own existence what even am i
a human being reduced to a miserable automation so more power can go to the powerful, something all of society agrees to, something people agree to enforce
my entire life gone, replaced by something so much more meaningless, hollow productivity, the creation of nothing. made into a goddamned handcrank for people with functionally infinite wealth, infinite power, to give themselves more
what the fuck, humanity
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
let me LIVE
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
i'll feel better. i'll get out of this. im just not doing well at the moment
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
fucking sadists rule the world
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
i hope theres a hell for them
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
one day im going to live with a bunch of my friends and make things i care about for money, and things will be better. i just have to survive til then
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
my heart wont stop beating out of my chest
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
im so anxious
RE: Loather Status - Loather - 07-24-2017
i dont have a family
RE: Loather Status - ICan'tGiveCredit - 07-25-2017
LOVE ALERT
we love you
