The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - Printable Version

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+---- Thread: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! (/showthread.php?tid=600)

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Re: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - OTTO - 12-31-2012

Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

Forget the names of the children you don't have.

Re: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - OTTO - 01-03-2013

Originally posted on MSPA by Dalmationer.

>Realise that because your escape plan worked, you should be getting a point on your point meter.
>Except it would be pointless to throw it away, because it probably does something great, you had better do that anyway.

Re: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - OTTO - 01-03-2013

Originally posted on MSPA by Xander.

Nopor Puss: Snort the flask. Not just the contents, the whole damn flask. Shove the whole thing right up your nose.

Re: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - OTTO - 01-13-2013

Originally posted on MSPA by Lordlyhour.

Xander Wrote:Nopor Puss: Snort the flask. Not just the contents, the whole damn flask. Shove the whole thing right up your nose.

In Fact, Toss the Contents of The flask onto the floor THEN stick the Flask up your nose. The contents might be some sort of Nasaly ingested Strength Potion So It would be pointless to pour it out

RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - Dragon Fogel - 05-08-2013

Protractor Ninja Wrote:Weep for your lost fiancée. It won't help the situation at all.

You decide that weeping for your lost fiancee won't make this evil space fortress plummet, so you do that.

[Image: command52b.png]

Your tears short-circuit one of the robots.

[Image: command52c.png]

And it's chasing the others away. Drat, now you're in less immediate danger!

Dalmationer Wrote:>Punch an englishman.

Ah, yes! A very pointless idea! You'll make sure to do that the next time you find yourself in France.

[Image: command52e.png]

And since you have no reason to believe you're in France, and no reason to believe this robot is an Englishman, you act accordingly.

mythLeader Wrote:>Steal Whatever's clothes

You can't see any reason to steal clothes from one of your allies, so you do that.

[Image: command52g.png]

Of course, it would be pointless to keep the stolen clothes on Whatever's body. Which is why that's exactly what you're going to do!

Epamynondas Wrote:>Play hide and seek alone. Ask Whatever if he can help you find yourself.

Oh, hey, it looks like those robots have decided to attack again. But you're pretty sure you and Whatever can handle them.

[Image: command52i.png]

So this is a pointless time to play one player hide-and-seek, leaving Whatever to fend for himself!

[Image: command52j.png]

You'll never find yourself here.

[Image: command52k.png]

Which means that's not a pointless enough hiding place. So you hide in plain sight instead.

[Image: command52l.png]

Hmm. Where did you go? You haven't the slightest idea.

[Image: command52m.png]

You decide to ask Whatever for help.

[Image: command52n.png]

Oh. He found you.

[Image: command52o.png]

Then there's no reason to keep hiding, so that's what you'll do!

[Image: command52p.png]

You seem to have hidden yourself in the engine room. Now what?

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RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - YelseyKing - 05-09-2013

>Practice bird calls. Preferably ones for extinct birds, so there's absolutely no chance a bird will respond.

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RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - Dragon Fogel - 10-20-2014

Dalmationer Wrote:>Realise that you are in fact RandomBot #5, long lost brother of RandomBots 3 and 2. Engage in wacky hijinks while you try to convince them of this, before wandering off.

For no reason, you decide that you are RandomBot 5. Your brothers are RandomBot 2 and RandomBot 3, and you decide to convince them that you're their long-lost brother, because you don't see any reason why they'd believe you.

[Image: command53b.png]

Of course, these two here are clearly RandomBots C and D, so it would be a waste of your time trying to convince them. Which is exactly why you're going to do that!

Plet53 Wrote:>Remeber the whole "punch everything plan"? Enemies are now excluded from this list.

It suddenly occurs to you that punching everything is very shortsighted. Why, you might punch someone or something that's actually attacking you! You promptly vow to attack everything that isn't an enemy.

Plet53 Wrote:>Obligatory "continue punching everything" command.

And of course, as your not-brother, RandomBot D clearly isn't your enemy.

suomynonAyletamitlU Wrote:> This seems like an incredibly inappropriate time for a poetry recital. Sounds good!

It occurs to you that RandomBot D might be angry at you, which could make him your enemy.

[Image: command53f.png]

So you decide to recite poetry, reasoning that can't help you in any way whatsoever!

[Image: command53g.png]

You decide to recite the most boring poem you know, Ode To A Self-Destruct Sequence.

[Image: command53h.png]

Incredibly enough, that seems to have somehow triggered a self-destruct sequence.

Chwoka Wrote:Forget the names of the children you don't have.

While the self-destruct sequence is going, you decide to forget the names of the children you don't have. Since you don't have any children, this means forgetting the names of everyone in the world.

[Image: command53j.png]

So you'll need to remember the names of everyone in the world before you can forget them all! You start by asking RandomBot C, because you already know his name is RandomBot C.

[Image: command53k.png]

Oh. Apparently he doesn't think that's his name. Well, since there's no reason for you to continue calling him RandomBot C, that's what you'll do.

[Image: command53l.png]

You then ask the same question to RandomBot D.

[Image: command53m.png]

He apparently doesn't appreciate being asked.

Dalmationer Wrote:>Realise that because your escape plan worked, you should be getting a point on your point meter.

No, you shouldn't. You know how your Point Meter works quite well, because it's pointless to have that knowledge and then completely ignore it.

[Image: command53o.png]

If you save yourself from danger, mortal or otherwise, your meter is unaffected. This is because you aren't going to do anything useful with your newfound safety, so the total point value of the universe is unchanged.

Also, your Point Meter is indestructible and will automatically block any attack directed at its wielder, which is why you usually don't check it in the middle of a battle.

[Image: command53p.png]

But a hypothetical observer might think that rule offers an insufficient explanation. They may point out that you didn't only rescue yourself; you rescued Whatever, Dr. N. Seyn, and Randombot C. Under normal circumstances, this would give you one point.

[Image: command53q.png]

However, your rescue entailed having them hurt their heads by bashing them against walls, while you were the only one whose actions actually opened up the exit.

[Image: command53r.png]

Thus, with the same action (telling everyone to hit their heads against the walls), you inflicted needless damage to your allies and also freed them. This produced a net zero increase in the point value of the universe, and so your Point Meter was unaffected.

This is a curious loophole which you could use to perform non-pointless actions without affecting your Point Meter. Of course, you have no intention of doing that, because it would be pointless to raise your Point Meter when you could avoid raising it.

[Image: command53s.png]

And speaking of raising your Point Meter when you could avoid doing so, you manually raise your Point Meter by one. This takes you to 30 points, which has the unfortunate side effect of raising your Magic Power by 20.

Dalmationer Wrote:>Except it would be pointless to throw it away, because it probably does something great, you had better do that anyway.

It then occurs to you that you have no reason to expect the Point Meter to do something useful if you fill it. Therefore, you expect exactly that.

[Image: command53u.png]

So you promptly decide to throw it away to prevent it from doing whatever useful thing it does. And since you could just toss it on the ground anywhere here, it would be pointless to run off somewhere else to do so.

[Image: command53v.png]

Oh, even better! There's a flask here, which will make a very poor wastebasket. You decide to stuff the Point Meter inside it.

Xander Wrote:Nopor Puss: Snort the flask. Not just the contents, the whole damn flask. Shove the whole thing right up your nose.

In the process of shoving the Point Meter into the flask, you realize it would be very pointless to shove this flask up your nose, so you do that at the same time.

[Image: command53x.png]

Wow, those are some very nice colors.

[Image: command53y.png]

You are now on your discarded Point Meter's status screen. Congratulations.

YelseyKing Wrote:>Practice bird calls. Preferably ones for extinct birds, so there's absolutely no chance a bird will respond.

You decide to call out for an extinct bird. Having no reason to think chickens are extinct, you start clucking.

[Image: command53za.png]

Oh hey, it's a chicken. Darn! Your call worked!

[Image: command53zb.png]

Fortunately, the chicken is hostile, so this action was in no way helpful to you. What are you going to do now?

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RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - YelseyKing - 10-20-2014

Challenge the chicken to a karaoke sing-off. Ideally to a song you don't know the words to.

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RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - AgentBlue - 10-20-2014

See if you can't get the chicken to lay something.

RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - Mehgamehn - 03-03-2016

Call a new chicken

RE: The Further Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss! - Reecer6 - 03-05-2016

I'm going to use this necropost as hope that this will update.

Whatever: Offer the cakes you now have to Randombot C over in the engine room.