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+--- Thread: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 (/showthread.php?tid=1834)
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Major Matt Mason - 04-18-2017
>Easter Bunnybabe: Hester? Dat you?
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - zobot257 - 04-19-2017
>Adler and Company: Just boggle vacantly
>Rabbit tied to stake: ...this isn't what it looks like.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Tim Tesy - 04-20-2017
Ms. thomson > Punch percy out cold
Burnside > Draw lewd pictures in percys journal
Fofox > also vandalize percys book with unsavory drawings
Easter maiden > warn adler of the elfcap mushroom as its deadly to elves but not lowfolk tho it has hallucination effect in large quantities
Adler > elfcap are the mushrooms you seen at the cemetery
Easter maiden > take adler to the village and pilfer wine, cheese and hotcross buns
Easter maiden > kiss adler then take your leave and ride off into the sunset
Adler > on the return to the portal elfshot everyone again
prank > swap their clothes, cover em in sap, poison ivy in their knickers and crickets in there hats, squiggle on their faces with ink caps.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tegerioreo - 04-23-2017
Quote:>Take this opportunity to scare them a little for your own amusement.
>"Alright, hand over your wallets!"
>"Sorry, just passing through, never mind us, have a good day ta-ta!"
Adler > Snap reaction, elfjump on a standing stone and elfshot everyone stupid
>Adler and Company: Just boggle vacantly
In retrospect, I probably should have taken some quick and decisive action, but I was too surprised by the spectacle before us. My mind was a welter of conflicting impulses. I simultaneously considered scaring, robbing, Elfshooting, and heinously snubbing this entire congregation of lowfolk .. but all I actually did was stand there staring for several very long seconds.
Quote:> So are you guys into some weird fetish stuff or..?
>Rabbit tied to stake: ...this isn't what it looks like.
"These lowfolk are into some freaky stuff," I finally muttered.
"Tis not what it looketh like, odious one!" the rabbitess tied to the stake called out.
"Really?" I quipped. "It looks like your people have tied you up to be sacrificed to some otherworldly being which you were expecting to emerge from this gate."
"Oh," the bunny maiden replied. "Then it is how it looketh."
As if waiting for some invisible command, all of the rabbits knelt and prostrated themselves on the ground.
Quote:Adler's party, be mistaken for supernatural entities from another world. Percy, be the only one of the lowfolk to recognize the elves for what they truly are.
![[Image: 0422recognize_zps3vcwlto5.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0422recognize_zps3vcwlto5.gif)
"Wait a minute!" someone shouted from behind one of the stones. "I know those elves! Or, well, I know that one!"
I immediately recognized the meddlesome Percy le Gobelet. Regaining my Elfly reflexes, I instantly drew my bow and let loose a debilitating Elf-shot in the bird's direction.
Quote:Percy, be far better prepared to deal with elves this time. Be warded against every elvish trick you could find in stories, as well as a couple you think they might pull on you.
![[Image: 0422smugpercy_zpsreghzfiq.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0422smugpercy_zpsreghzfiq.gif)
To my astonishment, the Elfshot arrow stopped in mid-air, inches from Percy's face. He chuckled as he plucked the arrow from the air.
"I'm ready for all your tricks this time, My Lord," the bird cackled. "I've warded myself against transmogrification and curses and every conceivable ruse from all the old tales as well as my own foresighted imagination! Thank you for the magical arrow. Now at last I have a piece of tangible evidence to show the Symposium when next we -"
Quote:Ms. thomson > Punch percy out cold
![[Image: 0422bruise_zps3njgouby.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0422bruise_zps3njgouby.gif)
Ms. Thomson rushed at Percy with uncanny ungulate speed, and whalloped him in mid-gloat with her hoof. He collapsed like a bag of feathers, dropping the Elfshot arrow, which disappeared when it touched the ground.
Quote:its a easter sunday tradition to appease the malicious entity from the elf gate in return for a good carrot harvest.
Easter Maiden, consider it to be a great honour to be sacrificed by an actual deity from beyond the Gate. Absolutely refuse to be left unsacrificed, having already relinquished all of your worldly possessions and spent the past month rehearsing your death.
Ceremonial dagger, be presented.
Priest, hand the dagger over to... Thomson, whom the lowfolk rabbits believe to be the actual Spring Goddess. Adler and Fifi, due to your almost completely white fur, be believed to be evil winter deities.
Burnside, be believed to be a trickster imp due to your small size and childlike appearance.
![[Image: 0422priest_zps5e0u9sdr.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0422priest_zps5e0u9sdr.gif)
An especially filthy-looking rabbit, bedecked in twigs and ropes of beads, detached itself from the group and stepped cautiously toward Thomson, who stood thoughtfully flexing her hand.
"P-please, Great Horned One," the rabbit whined as it presented a shiny dagger. "Disregard yon uncouth stranger. He swore he would not interfere, else we would ne'er allow him to witness thy ritual. Take thy blade, Horned One. The sacrifice is ready. Accept her in return for thy blessings of bounty. Be not angry, we beseech thee, on account of the interloper. Curb thy wrath. Loose not thy horrid demons upon us."
Thomson took the dagger and inspected it closely.
"Why hesitatest?" the sacrificial maiden asked nervously. "Do I not please thee?"
Quote:Adler's party, debate whether you should take her with you through the gate in order to appease her and the other lowfolk here.
Burnside, suggest rabbit stew as a lunch option.
realize to your surprise that it's of elfish manufacture.
![[Image: 0422thatsaknife_zpshnnykjcq.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0422thatsaknife_zpshnnykjcq.gif)
Thomson turned and held out the dagger for Burnside, Fifi, and myself to examine. Immediately the rabbits began to wail and ululate forlornly.
"What do you make of this?" Thomson asked. "It appears to be of Elfish make."
"So it does," I confirmed.
"AAAAH NOOO," the rabbits screamed. "Deliver us not into the hands of the Breaker of Ill Winds!"
"That is totally like, one of those Vulpitanian joke daggers that Duchess Catherine was talking about," SALV Fofox pointed out.
"WOE IS US," the rabbits shrieked. "The Frost-Biter bringeth our bane! How have we displeased thee, Mighty Cornetta, oh Goddess of Spring?"
"I don't like the way this situation is shaping up," I muttered, looking around at the genuflecting rabbits and the staked maiden with tears streaming down her face.
"Obviously Unseelie things have been done here," Thomson added grimly. "And it's been going on for a long time, from the look of it."
"We might ought to, like, take that rabbit chick with us though," Fifi suggested. "It would be like, majorly insulting to refuse a sacrifice. You can totally see how much it means to all of them."
"She's got a point," Burnside added. "Plus, rabbits make great stew."
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tronn - 04-23-2017
>Adler: Rabbits make great stew? Why, your pride has never been insulted like this before! You make better stew than any rabbit ever!
>The Rest of The Crew, Including Percy: Be unsettled by the uncharacteristic flare of temper from him, not being familiar with his ireneian side. Show responses ranging from contrition to mild arousal.
>Thomson: Announce that from now on the sacrifice will be delivered weekly and instead of a person will be milk, eggs, flour, butter, coffee grounds, bread, toilet paper...
I learned a new word today!
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Tim Tesy - 04-23-2017
Adler > boop burnside's nose and say "shhh...no rabbit stew"
Adler > Ponder joke dagger. it was made to prank elves, would it harm lowfolks? Check if there is any signs of blood encrusted on the blade or hilt
Adler > In return of the change of sacrifices for foodstuffs, and toiletries, you will gramarye the fields to be forever fertile and produce hardy crops all year round
Thomson > Ask the filthy priest who gave them the dagger and who else has emerged from the gate? maybe you could figure out who started this
SALV Fofox > comment you totally love the Easter maidens hair as you untie her
Easter maidens hair > its blonde, long and curly and as the sun touches it, it shines brightly like golden threads.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Torchfire - 04-23-2017
Adler and Fifi, realize that either it's a big coincidence, or the rabbits are surprisingly well informed about your past activities. Namely, the title of "Breaker Of Ill Winds" could refer to Adler's episode of the farts after eating Iku-Turso's god-flesh, while "Frost-Biter" could refer to an incident in Fifi's home village, when she tried learning Cryomancy with disastrous results.
Burnside's comment, frighten the rabbits further. Easter Maiden, believe that you are to be eaten alive by the Cold Ones.
Dagger, show signs of being heavily used. Only look like a Vulpitanian Joke Dagger, while actually be something far older and more sinister... Something that Vulpitanians originally based their Joke Daggers on.
Rabbits, comply to the request of assorted foodstuffs. Also, bring a large metal tub and some firewood. Form a (very long) bucket brigade in order to fill the tub with water.
Watch in terror as the Easter Maiden is cut off the stake just to be cooked into stew right in front of them!
Adler, cast a detect magick spell. Realize to your horror that there is a low-level glamour field permeating the entire area that is affecting everyone who stays under it's influence for too long in an unknown way. Except for Percy, whose wards are successfully shielding him. Elves, realize that you might become affected yourselves if you stay too long (though you still have hours at least before that starts to happen).
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - typeandkey - 04-23-2017
>Take the rabbit with you and very clumsily mutter out some half-hearted blessings in order to appease the dummies, I mean, rabbits.
>Rabbits: Be keenly aware that these "deities" don't really seem that into your ritual. You worked hard on this stuff, man. They could at least put a bit more "oomph" into their performance.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Major Matt Mason - 04-24-2017
>Percy: Be thoroughly suggilated.
>Maiden: Accept your fate stoically. Be a trifle nonplussed when you're not actually sacrificed.
>Burnside: Be a trifle disappointed that hassenpfeffer seems to be off the menu.
>Fifi: Think the Maiden is kinda cute, for a rabbit.
>Maiden: Be a whiz at finding edible plants.
>Suggested name for Maiden: Dainty Moore.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Torchfire - 04-24-2017
(04-24-2017, 12:45 AM)Major Matt Mason Wrote: »Be a trifle nonplussed when you're not actually sacrificed.
Weird...
Being unfamiliar with the word "nonplussed", I decided to look it up.
It apparently has a "normal" meaning as well as a "North American Informal" meaning, both of which are essentially opposite to one another. Weird.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - smuchmuch - 04-24-2017
>you know at this point, you migh as well take Percy with you too, he's annoying but uou have to admire the dedication and persistance, throw him a bone, so to speak. And frankly if you let him in, it's not like he'll last long in faerie anyway.
>(Or you know maybe you could use his lowfolk power of l;ying to your advantage, it's dirty but after the queen tried to get you offed, no mercy)
>If you're feeling particulary mean, you could send him into the swamp, or Vulpitia. Either he'll drive them nuts or they'll.. deal with him. One way or another, problem solved.
Quote:while "Frost-Biter" could refer to an incident in Fifi's home village, when she tried learning Cryomancy with disastrous results.
Or y'know, it could just refer to the fact their fur is snow white.
Rabbits are not very imaginative.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Major Matt Mason - 04-24-2017
(04-24-2017, 07:23 AM)Torchfire Wrote: »It apparently has a "normal" meaning as well as a "North American Informal" meaning, both of which are essentially opposite to one another. Weird.
Huh! Didn't know about the newer meaning. Weird indeed. I was going with "confused". :D
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Tim Tesy - 04-24-2017
(04-24-2017, 01:22 PM)smuchmuch Wrote: »Rabbits are not very imaginative.
Hey now, not all rabbits are just simple minded, breeding machines
But i do agree, theses particular peasant rabbits are not very imaginative
>would it be wise to let a lowfolk like percy in, if you let him in, then everyone from his "Symposium" will camp out at every fey gate, begging to be let in. if not already so
Alder >Wait, Fey gates must be scattered all over the world. How is percy managing to get to them? You always seem to bump into him too
(04-24-2017, 03:20 PM)Torchfire Wrote: »(04-24-2017, 02:48 PM)Tim Tesy Wrote: »They can also be the embodiment of evil.(04-24-2017, 01:22 PM)smuchmuch Wrote: »Rabbits are not very imaginative.Hey now, not all rabbits are just simple minded, breeding machines
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Torchfire - 04-24-2017
(04-24-2017, 02:48 PM)Tim Tesy Wrote: »(04-24-2017, 01:22 PM)smuchmuch Wrote: »Rabbits are not very imaginative.
Hey now, not all rabbits are not just simple minded, breeding machines
They can also be the embodiment of evil.
The pet rabbit my sister once owned was an absolute proof that bad things come in small packages (being a small grayish-white mini lop). That thing was Evil with a capital "E".
Also, the little beast enjoyed eating dog food (had a preference for minced meat, in fact) for some reason (though it tended to suffer from diarrhea afterwards)...
Ballad, please contain a villain like this at some point.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - zobot257 - 04-25-2017
>Situation: Somehow devolve into a Stew cooking contest between Adler and the sacrifical Rabbit Maiden. Loser gets unironically used as an ingredient for a soup.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tegerioreo - 05-01-2017
Quote:>Adler: Rabbits make great stew? Why, your pride has never been insulted like this before! You make better stew than any rabbit ever!
>Situation: Somehow devolve into a Stew cooking contest
![[Image: 0501indignant_zpsepwt8ypo.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0501indignant_zpsepwt8ypo.gif)
"What are you saying?" I demanded hotly. "I'm the Stew Master of Albric Tor! No lowfolk bunny can make better stew than I can, and I'll challenge anybody to a stew-off to defend my title!"
"That's not what I meant, Your Highness," Burnside replied. "Rabbits are good in stew."
Quote:Adler > boop burnside's nose and say "shhh...no rabbit stew"
Burnside's comment, frighten the rabbits further.
>Burnside: Be a trifle disappointed that hassenpfeffer seems to be off the menu.
The congregation screamed in unison, and the Maiden wailed in horror.
"No," I said, poking my finger in Burnside's face to demonstrate my resolve. "Feral rabbit, maybe, but we are not eating any lowfolk while I have anything to say about it."
"You don't know what you're missing," the raccoon muttered.
"Wow, you're like, even cuter when you're mad," SALV Fofox gushed admiringly.
"Go on and untie that poor maiden," I suggested to her.
Quote:SALV Fofox > comment you totally love the Easter maidens hair as you untie her
"Frost-Biter" could refer to an incident in Fifi's home village, when she tried learning Cryomancy with disastrous results.
Easter Maiden, believe that you are to be eaten alive by the Cold Ones.
>Fifi: Think the Maiden is kinda cute, for a rabbit.
![[Image: 0501frostbiter_zps86pxj6oh.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0501frostbiter_zps86pxj6oh.gif)
"I totally love your hair," Fifi chirped as she began untying the sacrificial Maiden from her stake. "Like, where did you get it done?"
"AAAAHH," the Maiden replied. "Frost-Biter! Frost-Biter! Away, I beg thee! Devour not my soul with thy cold, cold fangs!"
"Whoah, chill. I'm totally not gonna hurt you."
"AAAAHHHH," the Maiden shrieked. "Frost-Biter is going to do unmentionable things to me! Oh why was I ever born?"
"Stop calling me Frost-Biter!" Fifi said, offended. "Like, how do you even know about that anyway? It was years and years ago in distant Lengra-Cha."
The Maiden did not reply, but simply slumped loosely in her bonds while quietly sobbing.
Quote:>Thomson: Announce that from now on the sacrifice will be delivered weekly and instead of a person will be milk, eggs, flour, butter, coffee grounds, bread, toilet paper...
Adler > In return of the change of sacrifices for foodstuffs, and toiletries, you will gramarye the fields to be forever fertile and produce hardy crops all year round
very clumsily mutter out some half-hearted blessings in order to appease the dummies, I mean, rabbits.
"This is sick," Thomson declared angrily. "We don't want you to sacrifice tender young maidens -"
The rabbit congregation groaned in unison.
"Maybe YOU don't," Burnside quipped.
"Shut up," Thomson snapped. Turning back to the rabbits, she continued: "If you would appease us, we require weekly offerings of crops and produce. Bring us a basket of vegetables, a dozen eggs, a jug of milk, a box of tea ... in return for which, we will ..." She turned to me. "Your Highness, do you think you would be able to cast some Gramerye on their fields to make them fruitful?"
![[Image: 0501shrug_zpsg60mauly.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0501shrug_zpsg60mauly.gif)
"Sure, I guess so," I replied. "It's theoretically possible."
"NOOOOO," the rabbits moaned. "The Breaker of Ill Winds will put a fetid blight on our crops! Why dost thou persecute us, oh Horned One?"
Quote:either it's a big coincidence, or the rabbits are surprisingly well informed about your past activities. Namely, the title of "Breaker Of Ill Winds" could refer to Adler's episode of the farts
Rabbits are not very imaginative.
"How do these rabbits know about that?" I asked Thomson via Elfmind. "That gassy incident was ages ago, back in Faerie."
"You are a skunk," Thomson replied. "That's probably all it means. Lowfolk are crude and unimaginative."
Quote:>Rabbits: Be keenly aware that these "deities" don't really seem that into your ritual.
![[Image: 0501whydispleased_zpsrvshskwe.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0501whydispleased_zpsrvshskwe.gif)
"How have we displeased thee?" the filthy twig-covered rabbit beseeched. "Was our sacrifice unworthy?"
"Slay me and erase my shame, I beg thee," the Maiden sobbed.
Quote:Thomson > Ask the filthy priest who gave them the dagger and who else has emerged from the gate? maybe you could figure out who started this
"No!" Thomson insisted. "Where did you get the idea that we wanted sacrificial Maidens? Who else has come through this gate?"
"Thy messengers, the Holy Ladybirds, have told us what thou requirest, Oh Great Horned One," the priest replied obsequiously. "Never before have we beheld thy presence, for usually thou waitest until deepest night so that none may see when thou takest thy sacrifice. How did we provoke thee, that thou camest in mid-day, in full view before the entire congregation, with thy fearsome demons in attendance?"
"Just bring the provisions I asked for, and stop talking," Thomson sighed.
Quote:>Percy: Be thoroughly suggilated.
>you know at this point, you migh as well take Percy with you too
>would it be wise to let a lowfolk like percy in
Alder >Wait, Fey gates must be scattered all over the world. How is percy managing to get to them? You always seem to bump into him
![[Image: 0501squab_zpsjz277r4m.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0501squab_zpsjz277r4m.gif)
"What about the squab?" Burnside called, as she knelt beside the unconscious Percy le Gobelet. "He looks pretty well tenderized. It'd be a shame to let that go to waste."
"No way," I replied. "We're not eating lowfolk, and by Fuma, we're not bringing any with us as guests into Faerie, especially not him. That guy gives me the creeps. He keeps showing up outside Gates every time I visit the lowfolk world, and I'm not sure how he does it."
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - typeandkey - 05-01-2017
>Don't let this opportunity go to waste. Make a few childish doodles on Percy's face like glasses or a mustache.
>Tell the rabbits that Percy is "The Great Deceiver", or something, and should be locked up.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - MasterofElfhame - 05-02-2017
(Deii Ex Machina) In form of Giant Frogs*, suddenly appear, scattering the bunnies.
(Bunnies) Be absolutely terrified of the Giant Frogs.
(Giant Frog) Attempt to eat Thomson. Get suggilated.
(Burnside) Observe that frogs aren't bad eating.
(Frogs) [RAE-BEET] loudly.
Jump-cut to:
(Frog Fry) Occur.
*And by Giant Frog, we mean something that could swallow Burnside in one gulp
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Major Matt Mason - 05-02-2017
>Master of Elfhame:
![[Image: samgross.jpg]](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QMuDihPPyPA/TPZgIiF3FLI/AAAAAAAAPJ8/Vh-DTHbs_lg/s1600/samgross.jpg)
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Tim Tesy - 05-02-2017
Adler > Clap your hands and call for your ixie daughters. Tell them in no way are you ever eating lowfolk. (If it was them who talked to the rabbits????)
Thomson > Someone is taking the easter maiden sacrifices however. wait till night fall to see who comes for the maiden. suggest adler be a the decoy in place of the maiden
(05-02-2017, 03:29 AM)MasterofElfhame Wrote: »(Deii Ex Machina) In form of Giant Frogs*, suddenly appear, scattering the bunnies.
Adler > cure this problem with BOW!
Percy > wake up with burnside licking your neck and hearing her say "mmm tastey neck meat" , do a tactical retreat. this ones unseele!
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tronn - 05-04-2017
Quote:Thomson > Someone is taking the easter maiden sacrifices however. wait till night fall to see who comes for the maiden. suggest adler be a the decoy in place of the maiden
Seconding this. Let's get to the bottom of this!
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Major Matt Mason - 05-04-2017
Burnside > Try puppy dog eyes on Adler.
Puppy dog eyes > Work about as well as they did with Duchess Catherine.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tegerioreo - 05-04-2017
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - Torchfire - 05-05-2017
Author: What does your announcement mean for the future of the ballad?
Burnside, make several comments towards Percy, the rabbits and the current situation.
Adler, be shocked by the realization just how unseelie Burnside really is. Be forced explaining to her that murdering your lowfolk foster family is NOT a requirement to achieve full elf status.
Percy, wake up. Be interrogated by Adler about your constant encounters. Be confused, since you thought that Adler was following you.
I'm thirding that Adler's party should wait around to see just what is going on. But it might be a good idea to obtain the required supplies and move them through the gate first.
Something, come through the gate and carry off the sacrifice. Gate, turn out to lead to a different destination this time for some reason.
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - tegerioreo - 05-08-2017
Quote:>Don't let this opportunity go to waste.
Percy > wake up with burnside .. hearing her say "mmm tastey meat" ... this ones unseele!
Burnside, make several comments towards Percy
Adler, be shocked by the realization just how unseelie Burnside really is. Be forced explaining to her that murdering your lowfolk foster family is NOT a requirement to achieve full elf status.
Percy, wake up.
![[Image: 0507pieces_zps58aicfco.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507pieces_zps58aicfco.gif)
"How about taking just a couple pieces of him then?" Burnside asked, licking her chops and pulling a meat cleaver out of her Elfintory. "I'd sure like a wing and a thigh, and then you won't have to worry about him following you anymore."
"BAWK!" Percy exclaimed nervously as he regained consciousness.
"No!" I remonstrated. "Leave that poor bird alone! For Fuma's sake, what makes you so bloodthirsty?"
"Pff, don't pretend like you're better than me," Burnside scoffed. "We all had to slaughter our lowfolk families to get back to Faerie. That's what being an Elf is all about."
"BAWK?!?!" Percy squawked.
"I wasn't even raised by lowfolk," I protested with some alarm. "And I don't think that's what being an Elf is all about. Is it? Are you saying that .. Changelings kill their foster parents?"
"And siblings," Burnside added.
"Aw man, was I supposed to do that?" SALV Fofox groaned. "Nobody, like, tells me anything!"
"Lowfolk slaughter is not standard procedure for returning Changelings," Thomson informed us. "Though it has sometimes been regarded as a rite of passage among certain Unseelie tribes."
Quote:Burnside > Try puppy dog eyes on Adler.
Puppy dog eyes > Work about as well as they did with Duchess Catherine.
![[Image: 0507puppydog_zpsjtfpm8me.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507puppydog_zpsjtfpm8me.gif)
"Aw c'mon Prince Adler, let me just carve out his giblets; he won't even miss 'em," Burnside wheedled, holding a pair of limpid eyeballs in front of her face. "Pretty please?"
"Puppy Dog Eyes!?" I choked, flinching away in disgust. "Why do you Antgladers think that's an effective method of persuasion?"
"You don't like them?" the raccoon pouted. "They're really good with a pinch of parsley."
"Get away from me," I growled. "Go stand over there."
"You're no fun," she grumbled.
Quote:>Tell the rabbits that Percy is "The Great Deceiver", or something, and should be locked up.
Be interrogated by Adler about your constant encounters. Be confused, since you thought that Adler was following you.
"Percy le Gobelet!" I shouted at the quivering bird. "Why do you keep following me around, and more importantly, HOW are you doing it?"
"I follow you?" he protested. "You're the one following me! Every time I find a Faerie Gate, you show up and mistreat me! I think you're the most Unseelie of all! But sooner or later, 'Prince Adler,' I'll learn your true name."
"Rabbit folk!" I yelled to the congregation. "This interloper has probably deceived you. You should take him back to your village and deal with him harshly!"
"Thou dost not command us, foul Breaker of Ill Winds!" the priest called uncertainly while the congregation cowered behind her (him?).
"Do you want me to bless your crops or not?" I asked.
"PLEASE DON'T!" the rabbits begged in unison.
"Unless you remove this avian stranger and bring the produce I requested," Thomson declared imperiously, "I shall authorize the Breaker to break his illest wind all over your fields and meadows. And if you don't hurry, I'll think of a job for the Frost-Biter too. Or would you rather deal with the Ring Tailed Demon over there?"
"Thou has heard!" the priest screeched. "The Horned One has spoken! It is not ours to question!"
A few of the burliest rabbits grabbed Percy and hustled him off into the woods while the rest groveled pathetically on the ground.
Quote:Adler > Clap your hands and call for your ixie daughters. Tell them in no way are you ever eating lowfolk. (If it was them who talked to the rabbits????)
I suddenly had a thought.
"Ixie of the Ominous Orse! To me!" I broadcast via Elfmind.
![[Image: 0507whyixie_zpsjduoyk1z.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507whyixie_zpsjduoyk1z.gif)
"Thou callest, Sire?" an Ixie asked coolly as she perched on my hat.
"Have you been telling these rabbit lowfolk to sacrifice maidens to Ms. Thomson?" I asked.
"We've not told them that specifically, but we have relayed instructions that could be construed .." she dithered.
"In other words, yes," I deduced. "I am not interested in eating or otherwise using lowfolk maidens."
"Thou shouldst broaden thy horizons, Sire," the Ixie sniffed. "At any rate, twas not for thee."
"Then who?"
"I am not at liberty to divulge our clients' names. Suffice it to say that we run errands for numerous parties in this area."
Quote:(Deii Ex Machina) In form of Giant Frogs*, suddenly appear, scattering the bunnies.
(Bunnies) Be absolutely terrified of the Giant Frogs.
(Frogs) [RAE-BEET] loudly.
![[Image: 0507raebeet_zpsmc4n2pgh.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507raebeet_zpsmc4n2pgh.gif)
Before I could pursue my line of questioning any further, we were interrupted by frantic yelling from the rabbits, a loud thump, and a resounding "CROAK." I looked up to see the remaining lowfolk scurrying away in all directions from an enormous frog which had leaped in among the standing stones.
"What in the Netherhells?" Thomson started to say.
Quote:(Giant Frog) Attempt to eat Thomson. Get suggilated.
![[Image: 0507getongue_zpsk2eqm3t7.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507getongue_zpsk2eqm3t7.gif)
The frog shot out its tongue, which stuck to Thomson and began pulling her toward the fell beast!
![[Image: 0507frogko_zpscjesoyic.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507frogko_zpscjesoyic.gif)
A moment later, the frog lay unconscious.
"You dare lay your tongue on me?" Thomson exclaimed as she rubbed her arm. "Only scions of the House of Irenaeus are granted that privilege!"
Quote:(Burnside) Observe that frogs aren't bad eating.
(Frog Fry) Occur.
obtain the required supplies and move them through the gate first.
"Frogs are mighty good eatin'," Burnside quipped from the sidelines.
"All right," I shrugged. "I guess we can take it -"
Before I could finish speaking, she pulled out her cleaver and fell on the frog with gusto.
"Thou has bested the Green Monster," the rabbit priest yelled over the symphony of gross wet sounds as Burnside butchered the enormous amphibian. She (he?) held up a large wicker basket full of fruit and vegetables. "Take these, our thank offerings."
Burnside wrapped the frog meat in leaves and handed each of us an armload of huge chunks. Thus laden, we passed back through the Gate and back to the Diplomatic Listening Post.
![[Image: 0507frogfry_zpsktixdzvh.gif]](https://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a578/tegerioreo/0507frogfry_zpsktixdzvh.gif)
Not long afterward, we were all standing on the back porch of the Post, enjoying some juicy barbecued frog. (All of us except Ms. Thomson, who insisted on salad, and Karen, who soberly informed us that the frog was "not dead enough" for her tastes.)
"Well tan my hide, Adler honey," the Duchess enthused. "This sauce you made is downright heavenly! Well worth the wait, I do declare."
"It is, like, really good, fer sure," Fifi concurred, between bites.
"I thank you kindly for your hospitality," Duchess Catherine continued, licking her fingers. "But it's gettin' late, and Karen and I best be headin' on back. I'll see y'all later!"
She Pooked to her boat. Karen pushed away from the bank, and the craft quietly slipped out of sight among the weeds.
Quote:Someone is taking the easter maiden sacrifices however. wait till night fall to see who comes for the maiden.
Let's get to the bottom of this!
Adler's party should wait around to see just what is going on.
"I propose that we return to the Gate and wait to see who comes through it tonight," I announced to the group still munching on the porch. "I want to find out who's been taking sacrificial maidens from those rabbit people."