Your name is Peter Holmes and your not a fan of that one series just to clear things up beforehand.

After a long day of baking and blogging, you've finally been able to settle down and do a spot of reading on your phone. You're a little bit slow in the head but have a 'good enough I guess.' heart according to peers. You find the paranormal an odd concept and don't really believe in ghosts and such- but you wouldn't be surprised if one just waltzed up and walked through you or something. Oh! You just hit 60 likes on your new cake post-sweet!...

Pun intended.

What shall you do?

Ah. Well, it's 02:51 in the morning. Almost the devils hour. Ohhhh spooky. Your joking. 3 AM challenges are fun and all but they got old really quickly.
???:Alright, let's do this. Camo on.



You get the strange compulsion to go check up your hair. You walk on over to the TOTALLY NORMAL mirror (why wouldn't it be?) and take a gander at yourself. You've had this mirror since you came to the apartment. In fact, it's always been hanging on your bedroom wall...You look good enough in your opinion. huh. Wonder why you felt the need to go on over there.



You don't think you'll be able to pick up the flower art. Your hoodie can only store so much stuff in it and it definitely won't fit this flower art in. Is it even flower art anymore? You don't know. You try putting the bowl on your head after, to commemorate your 'fallen heroes'...it doesn't fit. What a shame. You feel played in the hands of time. Whatever is making you do all this stuff really likes to confuse you. You're not even tired anymore. Life is crazy.

You could've sworn you saw something black out of the corner of your eye but then it just vanished. Maybe your eyes are just drunk tired, maybe you're just hallucinating after all. Maybe you should get some sleep. But alas, the book intrigues you.



You waltz on up to the book and do a quick check-over on it. 'A girl scouts guide to the Necronomicon. 6 free spells for a budding girl scout!' You give it a quick poke with your pen to see if it does anything. Nothing seems to be happening...



You are now the 'Imp'. He not-so-politely explains to you that his name is Azruel and he's a Demonic Minion. Not an Imp.

Your name is Azruel and you are currently arguing with your co-worker Zazel about why the Girlscouts Guide to the Necronomicon is pink. It was clearly white the last time the two of you checked it out and you want to know what nitwit decided to mix it into the blood spells section. Zazel says that it looks less threatening and demonic, and fits in with the whole 'we have pinky-red eyes, fear us' thing the Demonic Minions have going on. It scares away the other Minions. You think that what Zazel's saying is bullshit and that he should check his place and privileges. But he just won't back down.

Guess you're not going anywhere for a while. Man Zazel sucks, he knows that you're right. If it was left there for a little longer, you'd be fine with the thing being red-just not pink. Pink's the Sirens colour, the hellish colour of the ocean fuckers. Jesus Christ, as humans would say, this shit sucks.

You are now Peter. Well, you never stopped being you-but you get what you mean...You think. You sit down on your bed and open up the book. Nothing seems to happen when you picked it up, so you just sat down and began reading it. The first page is the preface, not that you actually know that it is the preface though.





This thing just keeps on getting weirder and weirder. One of your friends must be going an awful long way to play a prank on you right now. You tell them that they should just come out of hiding...nothing. They must really be taking this whole thing seriously.

You stop reading here and decide to try out the whole 'are you magical?' test...



You think of one of your more happier memories. Last year, you're with your friends, finally together after so long in New York. You're all going to watch this new musical together and you got closer with one of your...best friends that day too! After the musical, you all went out for ice cream and walked about the dog park for a while.



Success! It looks like you are the Executioner of Pain...you don't like the sound of the title though. Oh well. Looks like you're just going to have to suck it up. You also flip back to the Acknowledgements... Does this book belong to some sort of cult or something? Who's 'We' what do they do? And where is this portal-thingy-ma-bob that'll take you to your 'Minions' hideout?

Ah yes. This is your living room. It has been home to many game nights and has a crappy view of a wall so you just leave the curtains closed all the time...there's not really much more new information you can gather from here really. You kind of expected you'd shone most of the light on this house when you got he-Oh Jesus fuck what's that!

Man, this guy's overpowering, you don't think you'd ever get a chance to get a word in when taking to him. You follow him to the kitchen though. Maybe 'no' will become a better person and not be a total dick towards you later down the line.



Oh. there's some weird, bat-bird eye thingy in your kitchen. Just what you needed. Obviously not.