You are now Philip a small man on a small island in the middle of the not so small sea. Philip has been here for some time, and is presently occupied with his daily routine of sitting on the beach, and staving off existential ennui.
But He is getting rather bored of that, so what shall He do now?

>Grow legs on your shoulder to perform tasks that would require hands



Philip does exactly as asked, growing a nice pair of neat-oh fisticuffs suitible for the task of holding things and whatever else.

>Next



He does it again, just to show He can... wait a second, How'd He do that, nevermind the second time. Well I guess Mr. Philip here's just full of surprises.

>Use coconuts to cover up your indecency



Philly does an admirable effort, but He's not entirely certain whether He even has indecency. In fact He's not entirely certain He even knows what the word "Indecency" means. He's also not certain how those things are staying on, but let's not think too hard about that one.

>climb the tree



Phillip climbs the tree like some sort of geriatric monkey with nothing to gain and everything to lose. Or well, Hmm, what would that look like actually, just imagine it, a geriatric monkey. Heh.

>Next



>Next



Philip takes the opportunity to do some sightseeing. Let's see, on this side He spies another island far off in the distance, alas, due to Philip's regrettable lack of depth perception, He's quite unable to tell precisely how far that Island is, or how long it would take to swim to. Philip isn't even entirely certain He knows how to swim.

>Next



On this other side, Philip... oh hmm, well that's a thing. It appears to be some sort of diabolical obelisk, or I guess it could be a non-diabolical obelisk, no need to presume. The sun doesn't seem to pleased with it though. It seems to be far off, but, again, due to Phillip's frustrating lack of depth perception, a precise measure of distance is quite impossible to gain.

>Retrieve yon bottlemessage with all due haste!



Having determined nothing of immediate use, Philip opts to investigate the mysterious bottle just off shore. Oh dear, He thinks, it appears to be just out of reach of his mysteriously growing arms. Well tough tits Phil, you'll just have to roll up your nonexistent slacks and get your proverbial boots wet.

>Next



Phillip has retrieved the Message in a Bottle a delightful fanfare plays in the distance, He's is rather weirded out by that, come on Phillip, where's your sense of Ceremony

>do not break open the bottle, uncork it.



Why, what do you think Phillip is, some sort of savage? But first He decides to get out of the water, because His footsies are starting to get soggy.

>Next



>Next



>Next



After several moments of staring at this piece of paper, Phillip comes to the harrowing realization that He does not know how to read.