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please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Printable Version

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please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Jacquerel - 04-23-2016

ok so right solaris got me to play this game with them and its like, sure ok i guess i love you or whatever and i get to stab things with a spear and thats fine

but then I have to do the "main storyline" to get anywhere and all these weird people keep talking to me and theres like, crystals and cutscenes and shit and then im fighting some big demon looking guy, and then theres a huge buff man in a loincloth underground trying to throw me off a cliff, there were some dragons, some guy gets stabbed in anor londo... quite honestly i have no idea whats going on

honestly I just skipped most of the cutscenes in the end and kind of just noncommitally agreed when solaris said anything about the plot and im pretty sure that fooled them

but I think they are getting suspicious, so basically I need some cliff notes fast

can someone please explain to me, as quickly as possible, what it is thats actually going on in final fantasy fourteen, before they figure out I've been lying to them this whole time
thank you


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 04-23-2016

Old friends Wallace (Wallace Shawn) and Andre (Andre Gregory) haven't seen each another in five years and agree to meet for dinner. Andre, a once well-known theater director, dropped out of the New York scene to travel the world, while Wallace stuck around, finding only mixed success as a playwright. As they sit down to eat, Andre launches into a series of fantastic stories from his time away, and Wallace can't help but notice how different their worldviews have become.


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Reyweld - 04-23-2016

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Dragon Fogel - 04-23-2016

There are four elemental crystals that maintain the balance of the world but they've been corrupted by the evil empire so you have to fly off the floating island you never realized you lived on so you can go to the moon and then the bad guy merges the two worlds back into one and then causes massive global destruction so you have to follow him into a crater to release the holy spell that will destroy the meteor he summoned in order to compress time and then you discover you were born on another world and you tell your dad you hate him and he has no idea who you are when you fight him but then it turns out it was his plan all along.

Also there are summon monsters.


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 04-23-2016

a man, a plan, a canal: panama!


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Schazer - 04-23-2016

for sale baby shoes never worn


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Reyweld - 04-23-2016

You are hungry. You check the fridge in your apartment, but nothing catches your eyes. You are now blind. Stumbling around, you suddenly have an epiphany. You know your purpose.


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Kíeros - 04-23-2016

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RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - chimericgenderbeast - 04-23-2016

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RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Electrum - 04-23-2016

You get the badge of a ruff and tuff hardworker Wheat. I Bobert god of unfairly hard work now promote you to [Insert Cool Title].


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - sfou - 04-23-2016

the three kingdoms are fighting against the empire except the entire empire conveniently stays confined within that one endgame map

beast tribes summon primals by using crystals, primals can basically be any entity that people believe in, powered by crystals. if you believed hard enough in your grilled cheese sandwich and got lots of crystals together it could become a primal

primals also tend to fuck up people's minds and take them over

the scions of the first dawn are the motley band of heroes who make sure that primals are killed before they become dangerous

the empire is evil for no good reason and is also afraid of the primals

the guys wearing black come from space and they haven't clearly stated their goals in over 400 hours of gameplay but they sure enjoy being evil

uhhh

moogles are cute


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - sfou - 04-23-2016

post-ARR plot:
all the kingdoms are corrupt and fucked
don't ever trust a lala with a mustache
holy shit raubahn your arm was just cut off STOP FIGHTING

HW plot:
that lady in blue becomes really cool and she really wants the dragons to be friends with the humans
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the dragoon seems like a cool guy but also seems like he could be evil. nobody is surprised

it turns out the dragons have been slaughtering humans for centuries because the humans did a Bad Thing

the church wants to pretent the Bad Thing never happened

the pope takes over the flying continent and summons the knights of the round. it's pretty cool. you kill the pope

dragons are pretty okay in this game i guess

edit: moogles are even cuter in this part


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Jacquerel - 04-23-2016

don't try and trick me sfou that doesn't sound right at all


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - a52 - 04-23-2016

well it all depends: did you choose wine or cheese?


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Reyweld - 04-23-2016

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, home to Bel-Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Jacquerel - 04-23-2016

You've all been very helpful and I think I get the main sort of gist of the plot now but could you tell me who these guys are?
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They keep hanging around and some of them try to give me orders and I'm not sure why I should care what they want me to do

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There's also these two guys but I don't think they really seem to be very important, fairly sure they're just like the domestic comedy relief duo


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Jacquerel - 04-23-2016

oh also if anyone can give me any insight into why the one second from the left is wearing like, miniature shorts but with the sides cut off so its actually just the front and back of a pair of shorts that would be useful too
does it help her karate


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - ICan'tGiveCredit - 04-23-2016

yes. this takes place during the heian period. In fact, if everyone isn't speaking gibberish japanese, then i'm sorry, you bought the wrong game.

no there are no english translations, we only provide the most authentic of final fantasy experiences


RE: please explain the plot of final fantasy fourteen to me - Reyweld - 04-24-2016

The first pic is the guild of assassins, but I'm not sure who the second pic are.