Quote:<soundlyParanoid> schazer
<Schazer> Para
<soundlyParanoid> i've generated penises for four of us in here.
<soundlyParanoid> https://en.inkei.net/Schazer!soundlyParanoid!PickYerPoison!Loather
<soundlyParanoid> that includes you
<soundlyParanoid> (check out the fucking dick tumor on pyps)
<PickYerPoison> holy shit
<PickYerPoison> oh but loather is the restless immoral eagle
<Schazer> jfc pyp yours looks like a protoceratops without legs
<PickYerPoison> hahahaha
<Sanzh> oh no
<Schazer> https://www.csotonyi.com/Protoceratops_Rough.jpg
<PickYerPoison> yeah idk what happened there but you could probably beat someone to death with that
<Loather> im "THE RESTLESS IMMORAL EAGLE"
<PickYerPoison> pfffffhahaha oh m y god you're right
<Sanzh> jesus pyp's dick is terrifying
<isoraqathedh> Laother, where is your TUmblr?
<Sanzh> it's a bad dragon dildo
<Loather> my freakish stunted dick is now eagletimes official mascot, dont deny it
<PickYerPoison> oh /god/

Quote:[23:23] <MrGuy> Hey. Speaking of writing.
[23:23] <MrGuy> I'm in a productive mood and I just finished my homework and then some.
[23:23] <MrGuy> Which can only mean one thing!
[23:23] <@schazer> o:
[23:23] * MrGuy is now known as Laundry|MrGuy
[23:24] <@schazer> >:I
[23:24] <Laundry|MrGuy> Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya
[23:24] * Laundry|MrGuy is now known as Writing|MrGuy

maybe this belongs in no context but who gives a rats Wrote:[17:12] Pinary awards Schazer an intercourse award

Quote:<Rivenforge> Oh, here https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/mondelez-international-microsoft-kinect-track-snack-buying-habits/story?id=20589644
<RedAce> and its 1:30 PM I need to take a shower
<Rivenforge> The kinect story
<RedAce> ...1:40 PM
<Godbot> oh, good
<Godbot> I was waiting for personalized ads to be a thing
<Godbot> cyberpunk's fucking overplayed
<Godbot> do we have to make it real?
* Fake (~danielkea@12.180.224.101) has joined #eagletime
<Godbot> can we not do this?
<Godbot> we managed to avoid steampunk just fine
<PickYerPoison> aw, i like steampunk
<PickYerPoison> also google gives you personalized ads
<Godbot> my issue with steampunk is that like
<PickYerPoison> they've been doing that for a long, long time
<Godbot> steampunk requires a specific setting and time period to work
<PickYerPoison> it incorporates background searches from gmail and google search history
<PickYerPoison> among other things, i assume
<Godbot> so steampunk stories tend to be really samey
<Godbot> they're all british victorian-era people with british victorian-era problems
<PickYerPoison> hee
<Godbot> and I'm talking about personalized ads that talk to you in the supermarket
<PickYerPoison> ah
<Godbot> all minority report-style
<Godbot> "hello, graham netherton"
<Godbot> "please pick that pack of oreos back up and put it into your cart"
<Godbot> "or we will be required to call the nabisco secret police"
<PickYerPoison> "oreo squad, we've got a brand disloyalty situation"
<Godbot> "send this man to a reconditioning camp"
<Godbot> "we need to change his brand image"
<PickYerPoison> there's a chamber that just pelts you with oreos
* Fake has quit (Quit: Fake)
<Godbot> a distorted voice over the loudspeaker bellows "DELICIOUS"
<Godbot> then they tranquilize you
* Fake (~danielkea@12.180.224.101) has joined #eagletime
<PickYerPoison> all of the rooms have an eerily familiar monochromatic color scheme
<Godbot> white walls, black floors and ceilings
* Fake has quit (Client Quit)
<PickYerPoison> what if they just abducted you into a portal testing program
<PickYerPoison> except your portals are black and white and everything is just oreo-themed
<Godbot> the voice on the loudspeaker promises that if you complete the testing they'll give you milk
<PickYerPoison> oreo cake
<PickYerPoison> "companion cookie"
<Godbot> everyone completes all of the tests in under 10 minutes out of sheer desperation
<PickYerPoison> the incinerator is just a mouth
<Godbot> "creme" is 50% test subjects
<Godbot> the rest is food coloring and fat
<PickYerPoison> "the handheld oreo device is now worth more than the combined organs of [SUBJECT HOMETOWN HERE]"
<Godbot> (the cookies are made out of anti-milk)
<PickYerPoison> hard filling bridges
<Godbot> most people don't make it out of the first room
<Godbot> they pull apart the oreo gun and try to lick the circuitry
<RedAce> ...
<PickYerPoison> despite repeated failed tests management refuses to make it look less delicious
<RedAce> I feel like there was some kind of deadly chain reaction leading to these horrrific images you're painting
<Godbot> there was
<PickYerPoison> or use something other than sugar in the circuitry
<PickYerPoison> there was
<Godbot> it's the nabisco police state
<PickYerPoison> things just kinda escalated
<RedAce> so we're quoting this right
<Godbot> I'm cool with that
<RedAce> because this needs to be not forgotten
<PickYerPoison> no arguments here
<RedAce> so that when the nabisco police state begins the resistance is ready

Quote:[13:51] * Girth (~ESIDOR-EM@CPE-70-94-244-81.new.res.rr.com) has joined #eagletime
[13:53] * FelixSparks ignores Girth.
[13:53] * Girth kicks FelixSparks in the torso
[13:54] <FelixSparks> Should have seen that coming.
[13:54] <Schazer> applause
[13:54] <Schazer> applesauce
[13:54] <thriggle> yum

Quote:17:42 Schazer how do you pronounce chagrin anyway
17:42 Schazer it's not shuh-grin, is it
17:42 Slorange Shuh-grin
17:42 Sanzh shag-ring?
17:43 Sanzh huh it might be shuh-grin, actually
17:43 Schazer Sanzh i THINK you'll find that's Australian vernacular for an orgy
17:43 Schazer damn keyboard
17:43 Schazer anyway holy fuck I actually knew how to pronounce a word right for once
17:44 Sanzh I'd rather not find myself in a shagring then
17:45 Ellyfish a shag ring?
17:45 Ellyfish How does it loop back on itself?
17:45 Sanzh carefully
17:45 Slorange Just go watch a bukkake video
17:45 Slorange It will all make sense
17:46 Slorange The other answer, which involves a chain of gay men, we already discussed in disturbing detail in this very channel
17:46 Ellyfish bukkake is one of the ones I don't get
17:46 Schazer humans are incredible
17:46 bigro doesn't it require like 2000 men
17:46 Slorange The answer we concluded with was "What the hell is wrong with each of us and us collectively"
17:46 Ellyfish Well I've been absent for too long, fill me in?
17:46 bigro 'fill me in'
17:47 Ellyfish fill me in
17:47 bigro exactly that

Quote:17:46 Schazer next question (totes facetious): how do you pronounce bukkake
17:46 Schazer or rahter
17:47 Schazer how can you pronounce bukkake
17:47 Schazer I'm giving it a second glance and I think I can see "buck cake"
17:47 Sanzh boo-ka-kay is how I assumed it's pronounced
17:47 Ellyfish boo-cock-kay
17:47 Schazer yeah, if you're Australian
17:47 bigro boob-cock-kay
17:47 Sanzh :<
17:47 Slorange It's
17:48 Schazer as the resident Closest Thing We Have To Japanese
17:48 Slorange It's Japanese
17:48 Slorange This is your HERITAGE Schazer
17:48 Schazer I like Boob Cocky though
17:48 bigro I see beau kar kee
17:48 bigro YOU DON'T EVEN AUSTRALIAN SCHAZER
17:48 Schazer anyway I can at least give the right answer, if not the most interesting one
17:48 Sanzh I don't think my accent does australian
17:48 Schazer it's book-kucky
17:48 Ellyfish byuck-ache-shee
17:48 Schazer if anything
17:48 Schazer but with the k in book almost being silent
17:48 bigro Beua car key
17:49 bigro beau*
17:49 Sanzh beau kicky
17:49 Slorange Book-kucky is that crap that builds up on the spines of library books from libraries that let kids in
17:49 Schazer I'm crying
17:49 bigro beau caaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-a-a-aaar ki
17:50 Schazer meanwhile: I'm searching the thread for Tor's pet names for Scofflaw
17:50 Schazer I should just marry this dumb alien already
17:50 Ellyfish buck-cake

Quote:Sanzh it's probably in double-orgy territory by now is my point

Quote:[19:38] <MrGuy> gosh darn
[19:38] <MrGuy> things feel lame
[19:39] <Timujina> western black rhino is extinct
[19:42] <MrGuy> ...oh.

Quote:01:22 Loather cram bananas down their big gaping mouths

Quote:* Plaid has joined #eagletime
<Schazer> yo yo
<Plaid> sup
<Plaid> apart from making chopstick wrestler bird abominations
<Schazer> you could not tear your eyes off those gams do not lie to me madam
<Plaid> you caught me
<Schazer> gams set and match
<Plaid> good lord
* Plaid Quit (Quit: https://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)

Quote:<Plaid> sticky poop shield, activate!

Quote:[20:25:29] <Loather> "Where the Bee fucks, there fuck I"

Quote:[14:28] <Schazer> I think bee sex can be practical and fun
[14:28] <Schazer> and that is a real sentence that I just said

Quote:17:50 MrGuy ugh, I should go to bed, but nothing is less appealing rn
17:50 MrGuy also holy shit the parking lot is extremely icy for some reason?
17:50 Solaris whats going on
17:50 Solaris why are you in the parking lot
17:50 MrGuy s'like a fucking skating rink
17:50 MrGuy sol I can see it from my window you dweeb
17:52 DragonFogel Guy, quit spying on the parking lot.
17:52 Solaris ice is invisible though
17:53 MrGuy Sol, I'm not sure you understand prec-ice-ly how ice works.
17:53 Schazer I'm putting this impending punstorm on ice
17:54 MrGuy I don't think that's necessary, Schazer
17:54 Schazer like hail it isn't
17:54 MrGuy It wasn't likely to gain much traction to begin with
17:54 Schazer you're skating on thin ice here buddy
17:55 MrGuy I guess I'd better snow down before you crack, then.
17:55 DragonFogel Guy, quit being such a flake.
17:56 Schazer Ok can we agree this is just a really polarising discussion
17:57 MrGuy It wouldn't be an issue if you guys would just go with the floe.
17:58 MrGuy (sol do you wish to contribute)
17:58 Schazer I don't rememberg you being in a position to make demands
17:58 DragonFogel When it comes to snow pun contests, there are no winters, only losers.
17:58 Schazer I will just
17:59 Schazer avalanche sigh to myself over here at your antics
18:00 Schazer anyway I should get my butt home
18:00 Schazer my b-icicle is not going to get any easier to ride as it gets colder
18:01 MrGuy Try not to crash on the rocks.
18:01 Solaris im trying to think of a response that accurately expresses my inability to ad anything but i guess ive got brain freeze
18:01 Schazer I'll make the frost of a bad situation
18:02 Schazer but really there's no alpine you depraved fuckers
18:02 MrGuy I'm sure the discussion will evaporate once I go to bed, but I imagine that's cold comfort
18:03 Solaris guy go to bed this is your fault
18:03 Schazer or is he the one to take the chilblaim
18:03 MrGuy Schazer these are getting more obtuse by the second
18:03 Schazer or is he both???????
18:03 MrGuy You just have to be such a special snowflake with your puns, don't you
18:04 Schazer (◡‿◡✿)
18:04 DragonFogel Guy, just accept defeat with glace.
18:04 Schazer you were askiing for it

Quote:17:12 Pharmacy man I love worldbuilding
17:13 Schazer same
17:13 Schazer I normally struggle at it though but you seem to just pull it out of me
17:13 Schazer like spider silk but less gross
17:14 Pharmacy well with enough questions a world comes out of an orifice
17:14 Pharmacy I am terrible
17:15 Schazer hahahahaha

Quote:[23:55] Schazer: I have my words and their ways
[23:56] Schazer: and I have my way with words
[23:56] Schazer: or however you're supposed to say that so it doesn't sound like I'm deflowering a language

[23:58] Chwoka: Schazer why don't you want to sound like you are deflowering a language
[23:58] Schazer: I have a way with words =! I have my way with words
[23:59] Chwoka: no i get that having it your way is something you only do with sex acts or at burger king or both
[00:00] RedAce: you mean subway
[00:01] Schazer: no that's eat flesh
[00:01] RedAce: eh
[00:01] Schazer: you have it your way at burger king
[00:01] RedAce: I don't remember their slogan being "eat our flesh"
[00:02] Schazer: fresh, flesh, semipresh, whatevs
[00:02] Jacquerel: McDonalds slogan is "I'm loving it" which sounds far less forceful
[00:03] Schazer: what if you are having it your way/having your way with it and McDonalds just shouts out "I'm loving it"
[00:03] Schazer: is that romantic or voyeuristic or a threesome
[00:04] Schazer: "how much pickle would you like in your sandwich, sir or madame"
[00:05] Jacquerel: the aim in these kinds of places is to deliver quickly so I'm not sure both parties would be loving it in equal amounts
[00:05] Schazer: the spray and pray strategy
[00:07] Schazer hacks up a lung

Quote:<Garuru> isnt valhalla like viking heaven
<Garuru> i dont want to go there
<Paranoia> you get to fight big burly men in skimpy clothes for your afterlife
<Garuru> on second thought
<Paranoia> (also waifish pretty boys if thats your thing.)
<RedAce> valhalla is viking heaven
<Chwoka> are the waifish pretty boys easier to take down
<Garuru> they ARE vikings after all, so probably not
<RedAce> also you get to have feasts every day
<RedAce> like
<Paranoia> from a certain point of view, they go down a lot easier.
<RedAce> big ass feasts
* RedAce groans
<RedAce> para no
<RedAce> no
<Garuru> we werent the ones who brought up the word ass

Quote:[21:46] <Schazer> Solaris you have aged like a fine meme
[21:46] <Solaris> i
[21:46] <Schazer> isn't that what we tell you on your birthday
[21:46] <Solaris> i