> Oh my word, he's ADORABLE

> Is calling a demon adorable an insult?

> "Should we do something about Selena? I mean, we don't know what she's up to, but it sounds pretty forbidden."

> Knifey Vinny: Mug the scenery almost as hard as you're mugging this random passerby.

Your name, as far anyone is concerned, is Kaphlar Kinra, as you’re quick to remind the gullible idiot you’re talking to. Clearly, he’s a little slow, so you take things step by step.

Think about it this way: if you walk into a store, demand a product, and get exactly what you asked for, then you can’t very well go back and ask for a refund without a good reason. And if you insist on it, then that’s bordering on harassment, and the staff is well within their rights to exercise self-defense! Right?

You pause to check if the kid is following and hold back a giggle when you see the look on his face.

Moron asked “Do you really have weed??” like 10 times.

> STABS TIME

> Do I look like somebody working at a casino, cutting cards?

> Kaphlar: Do you have enough knives for two children?

> "Four Eyes": Bite down on the knife that's apparently right in front of your mouth.



You still can’t be an NPC! Even worse, it looks like the Symbolic Character Selection Screen has no new colourful silhouettes to show you this time, not even if you ask it very nicely to help you forget the uncomfortable connotations that the term “NPC” has taken on in the past (from your perspective) or the future (from the Symbolic Character Selection Screen’s perspective).

Wait, is the Symbolic Character Selection Screen sentient? Does it denote a metacontextual space where the narration is always addressing you, the reader, rather than you, the POV character? What makes someone an NPC, anyway? Is this all arbitrary?!

You decide to just get back to the narrative before “Four Eyes” eats the knife in the most painful sense of the phrase.

> Crotch kick evasion maneuver!

>Say, wouldn't killing your customers hurt your profits in the long run? Word like that gets around. Rough them up a little and up the price, teach 'em a lesson they'll actually remember.



You go about doing your thing. Judging by the looks on these idiots’ faces, they don’t quite realise what your thing actually IS. The rich one doesn’t, anyway. He’s about to plead for his life, isn’t he?

Score.

> And then get in even bigger trouble for having flashed you magic in public. (Seriously who even need it against two middle schoolers)

You are not. You’ve been doing this for years - sure, maybe you don’t pull out the magic card all the time, but even when you do, nothing’s happened. It’s not like there’s an omniscient magic police out there watching your every move, so this is a reliable, easy and fun way you get cash: you put a human on the spot, you scare the living shit out of them and you get what you want.

And truth be told, it’s fun to see just how much you can scare them sometimes.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

> Mysterious Individual Seen Observing Outside A Few Updates Ago: "Cool it."



How can you possibly be the mysterious individual, when you don’t even know—

Oh, wait, that was you. Now you are in a car with an old friend you are very happy to see, and two new friends you are just as happy to see.

You get the feeling your brother is currently up to no good, and you would like to tell him to cool it - and potentially flick his nose - but you can’t very well do that until you’re face to face with him!

He’s not going to get away from you today.

> Clover: "Are we there yet?"