Spoiler So i'm in my bathroom getting ready for the day. i'm doing volunteer work later that day for meals on wheels.
i gotta shave and brush my teeth and i gotta hurry cause i need to leave soon!
my pet owl is there. my big cartoony pet owl, who likes to gossip with the duck (the duck flies in through the window to chat with owl)
I can understand what they're saying because of my magic ancient egyptian (????) heritage. Some squirrels in the neighborhood started dating or something. who cares. i sure don't. i gotta go to meals on wheels!

https://i.gyazo.com/a4633f99f6d7087971efcb7760c353b8.png

SpoilerOn the way to meals on wheels i stop by my old middle school. I get a regular sized meal that gets served to all the kids. I have to keep telling the people there that i'm not actually a student. The bill is 25$ for the pathetic school lunch. I'm appalled at where my money is going, resolve never to eat out again, and feel relieved that it's just a dream and i'm not wasting money on anything.

My mom is there too, complaining about the soda machine. it makes soda faster than people can drink it, so it dumps all the surplus down the drain.

https://i.gyazo.com/6c72382d6ab3bba1b92904aee9cf180e.png

SpoilerAfter lunch, instead of going to meals on wheels, I hop on the subway and go downtown to Washington DC, where they have all the smithsonian museums. In the Natural History one (the one about dinosaurs and rocks and stuff), they're doing a collaborative exhibit with the National Archives (recordkeeping)..... an exhibit on... EGYPTIAN STATUES!!!!!!!!!

I'm incredibly amazed at all this cool stuff. i've apparently never seen a statue ever before. There's one statue of a girl with two birds on her shoulder, and a tour guide is talking about it to a small group of teenagers. I barge right through to the statue and start trying to talk to the birds. but they're statues of course, so nothing happens and i start yelling like "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE BIRDS???"

https://i.gyazo.com/bdc6fe474a53c3b67af55288e40cca90.png

SpoilerOne of the girls in the crowd, i see, is not a teenager at all- she's my age! and she looks exactly like me! Whoa- she's my long lost clonetwin from ancient egypt! (???????) She's literally me, just better with her innate magical powers. she makes the statue come to life. There's also another me in the crowd who just does nothing except be the Point of View during this act.

The statue starts singing! Original Me and Magical Me join in as a duet/trio!!! POV Me looks at a little sign on the side that displays a table, of all the characters and how long they appear (in minutes) in each act. This is how i know this dream has four acts, and also that this musical number is 9 minutes long.

The tour group (+POV me) also joins in at some points as the backup chorus. The song tragically ends when the statue trips over a bench and shatters into a lot glass shards, which all end up in Original Me's arm.

https://i.gyazo.com/8a72a5ed3bbbcfdbe06e2eecd0a4f425.png

SpoilerI'm fine.
Retroactively, the statue, just before it trips, transforms into a chandelier on the ceiling to avoid tripping. #ancientegyptianmagic

Now we all sit down at picnic table or something. i already ate, but the tour group eats. Instead both mes like cuddle and stuff at the table while the whole tour group probably feels hella awkward.

<3 <3 <3 i'm gay <3 if i'm my own girlfriend does that mean i have two girlfriends???

https://i.gyazo.com/63d885122ca3f59bdefaa16beaa18ebc.png

SpoilerSo this new character named robert shows up but everyone including me thinks that he's been there the whole time. due to dream logic, he might as well have been. Only in real life do i realize the truth- he wasn't there in the first part of the dream!

Anyways, pretending he was there, well, he was the antagonist- the ancient egyptian pharoah who, in the previous dream, uh, did absolutely nothing. he's still an antagonist though because my brain said so.

So Robert says to me, "you know, robert isn't my real name- just like you, Timu, went by the alias, Tipu, i too have been lying about my name."

So seems like the way to disguise your name is to add/remove a 'p', so i'm like "So your real name is.... Roberp?"

Roburp says, YES THATS RIGHT!! I'm roburp! (pronounced "raw burp") and also i am no longer evil! I'm a good guy now!

Yay. Great! Amazing character development from roburp.
The end. (this part of the dream was far less coherent than the previous parts). I'm going to pretend like Roberp was there to remind me that ancient egyptians aren't white, and once I recognized that, he "turned good."
https://i.gyazo.com/c3e11d9ef38ffb100148ed5fd9e70d4a.png

Spoiler
It started out with me and a bunch of friends. We were all video game characters or superheroes or space cowboys, etc, it doesn't really matter. One of us had a time machine. We decided to go to the time in the future when alien scientists accidentally caused the instantaneous heat death of most of the known universe (which I distinctly remember tasting very strongly of cherry (I have synesthesia)).

Somehow, visiting the end of the universe caused some sort of time paradox/curse, and we found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling that something was very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, but something shifted, and we all lost consciousness for a second.

We found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling that something was very, very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, but something shifted, and we all lost consciousness for a second.

We found ourselves back where we were originally, with the distinct feeling of deja vu, that something was very wrong. We didn't have time to investigate/discuss the event, because we were attacked by a monster! We quickly dispatched it, and the more time passed, the more the feeling of wrongness grew. I had forgotten something important. I knew it. It was just on the edge of my memory! I knew I had to remember, but I didn't know why, and I couldn't explain the sense of doom and urgency growing stronger every second! I had to remember now, because something awful was about to happen, any moment now! No! I didn't have time! I didn't have --

I found myself back where we were originally. I killed the monster, this time with the feeling of doing something preplanned, the same feeling you get when I you play the easy first half of a level that you're stuck on, the preprogrammed, half-instinctive motions you go through to get to the interesting part. I knew something was off. It died too quickly. I had known what it was, how to kill it, when it was coming. The creeping doom fell upon me again, the horrible anxious urgency. Nobody else had noticed anything. But what was it that felt so wrong?!

Then I remembered. I remembered everything. The end of the universe, the curse, the last few cycles. The horror filled me. I wanted to scream, to vomit, to yell at everybody else to let them know what was going on, but I knew, with horrid certainty that it was already too late. I braced myself just before the blackness set in.

It continued. The cycles never varied. The instant I regained consciousness I knew something was wrong. About halfway through I started panicking, beginning to piece things together. Every time, about a minute before it reset, I remembered. By the time I remembered, it was always too late. I was forced to continue the motions, acting my part, waiting for my doom. All the while the rest of the world was progressing and moving forward, while we were stuck in our bubble, eternally acting out the same scene of a poorly written play.