Spoiler Already in the correct order, chief!

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Abstract:
Several new anomalous tissue growths have been found in the lungs, hearts, and blood of deceased Q-class notails. These growths have been determined as contagious mycoses. Initially contracted by Q-814570 and then transmitted to other members of his team, samples of this mycosis (given the name fungal agent 34-X) have been retrieved from the deceased, and testing has begun on 12 D-class notails to determine the source of the outbreak and any possible cure.

Keywords: X-34, mycosis, mycoses

Background:
Shortly after being dispatched to address a possible harpy outbreak situation on [redacted], Q-814570 and his team of five other Q-class notails were found deceased at their forward base of operations. Their bodies had begun to show signs of advanced decay, despite only being expired for two days at most. Two other Q-class notails of the group sent to retrieve the bodies contracted the mycological infection through unknown means and perished before they were able to return to the lab. The corpses of the deceased, with the exception of Q-814570, were carefully cremated to avoid further contamination. Q-814570’s corpse was retained for further dissection and retrieval of samples.

Experiment:
Twelve D-class notails were obtained and brought to [REDACTED] for testing. These twelve notails were split into four groups of three, with each individual notail being confined to their own cell. The groups were called A1, A2, B1, and B2. The first two groups were to receive fungal agent 34-X through airborne means, the second two groups through blood contact. Subjects were restrained so as not to do harm to themselves or others.

 A surveillance camera is focused on a D-class notail strapped to a metal table. He wiggles, trying to get  free, as Q-38014 approaches with a syringe full of blood. “C’mon man, you don’t gotta do this to me *u*” he pleads, but Q-38014 ignores the D-class as he finds a vein and injects the blood. He scribbles a few notes onto a clipboard and exits the room, leaving the D-class to struggle in his bonds.

Subjects were inoculated with the infection at 1300 UST and kept under constant video surveillance for the duration of the experiment. One hour after inoculation groups A1 and A2 were beginning to show difficulty breathing and an accelerated heart rate. Groups B1 and B2 showed no symptoms at this time.
One hour and thirty minutes into the experiment both A groups seemed to have stabilized, though heart rate was still elevated. In addition, both B groups were now experiencing elevated heart rates as well. Samples were taken from both A and B groups. Analysis of these samples revealed small fibrous masses in the blood of both groups, approximately 200μm in diameter. Further testing showed that these were ascosporic in nature, though no other information could be gleaned.
At 1500 on day two of the experiment, groups A1 and A2 began to show labored breathing and a decrease in oxygen. Additionally, subjects from both A groups became more vocal, voicing concerns about difficulty breathing and chest pains.

 A D-class notail from group A1 is on screen. His breathing is irregular and seems to come with great difficulty, and his skin is covered in sweat. Gasping, ragged breaths can be heard, interspersed with swears and pleas. “Fuck, guys, come on. I just need someone in here. Aren’t you supposed to be finding a cure for this stuff? So give me the cure already! I know you have it. I can’t breathe, please, someone help. I KNOW YOU HAVE IT! ꈍ∇ꈍ” At this point the subject begins shaking furiously in his bonds, tugging at his cuffs and rubbing his skin raw. A spasm racks his body and he arches his back so hard there is an audible snap as the contortion fractures his spine. The monitors are screaming. He continues seizing for several more seconds, screeching through clenched teeth, before suddenly falling still. The monitors flatline. A few minutes later X-3131163 enters the room in full hazmat gear, unstraps the body, and begins dissection. As he cuts into the chest cavity and removes the sternum, a puff of black material can be seen exiting the corpse. X-3131163 steps back and waits for the cloud to settle before returning to work, taking samples and removing organs.

Once the first subject had expired, groups A2 and B2 were both given standard antifungal drugs, while the rest of group A1 and group B1 were not. The other two D-classes from group A1 suffered similar symptoms and expired shortly after.
At 1800 quarantine was breached as a D-class from group A2 managed to break free of his restraints and smash through the door to his quarters. He was quickly subdued by a guard posted in the halls but the fatal center-mass shot released a cloud of spores similar to those seen during dissection of the deceased notails in group A1. The guard was placed in the expired D-class’ cell to avoid further contamination.
At 1813 quarantine was breached again, though this time a D-class from group A2 crawled through the air ducts. He was stopped by the air purification filters but managed to rip through several layers before subdued and put down.
At 1900 several researchers on the level which the experiment was being conducted reported difficulty breathing. At this point, it was established that the entire level was infected and was shut down to prevent the spread of the mycological infection. All personnel were given hazmat suits and standard antifungal drugs and instructed to report any abnormalities as they continued to work.
At 1918 all three subjects in group B1 ceased all vital functions. Further examination and dissection revealed that their internal organs had begun to putrefy and showed several large growths of fungal agent 34-X. These growths were removed and placed in incubation trays to study.
At 2000 the replicating agent of fungal agent 34-X was identified and work to isolate and destroy this agent began.
At 2300 a sample of the nullifying serum was produced and distributed to remaining D-class subjects and laboratory personnel.
At 2307 all of the infected personnel, as well as the remaining D-class subjects, expired. Their bodies began to decay within a matter of minutes and their chest cavities collapsed, releasing massive quantities of spores into the air. Surviving personnel isolated themselves within the main laboratory room in an attempt to avoid further contamination.

 X-3131163 and Q-38014, along with three other lab assistants, continue working diligently on a cure for fungal agent 34-X. One of the younger and less-experienced notails, X-9448126, can be seen trembling severely as he makes pour plates. He sets the tube of growth medium down and his hand brushes a vial containing spores of fungal agent 34-X. Time seems to slow down as the vial falls to the floor, shattering into hundreds of razor-sharp glass shards as a cloud of spores is released. X-9448126 stares down at the shattered vial, every ounce of body language screaming horror and intrigue. The other notails only spare the mess a single glance before returning to work on their samples. They know the only way to stop their death is to work harder to find a cure. At 2314 X-9448126 pulls off his air filter and launches himself at Q-38014, raking his claws across the other notail and screaming in his face. His body appears to melt as he rapidly decays while still alive, coating Q-38014 in the rotten flesh, blood, and spores. Q-38014 manages to throw X-9448126 off of himself and the X-class notail dies before he even hits the ground. X-3131163 rapidly scribbles notes onto a clipboard, breaking out into a sweat and gasping for breath through the air filter of his hazmat suit. The words devolve into meaningless scribbles as his knees buckle and he falls to the ground, dead. The two other lab assistants follow suit. Q-38014 frantically scrambles from station to station. Trying to find something, before he too collapses dead.

Results:
At 2320 all remaining personnel and subjects have perished. The experiment, while providing useful data, was ultimately a failure, and no cure was found for fungal agent 34-X. The floor of [REDACTED] where the experiment took place was left in quarantine for one month and was then thoroughly cleansed of any organic material. To this day no other outbreak of fungal agent 34-X has been recorded ~v~.

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Spoilerin lieu of a lawsuit i will also accept raffle entry into all the 'get whatever you want' tiers.

SpoilerWhatever you want prize : D
(I'd signup for the shirt, but I already know it wouldn't fit me)

Spoiler This was fun xD. All the “whatever you want” tiers are a go!!

SpoilerOne of the "Whatever you Want" prizes. plz.

ChoicesThe "Whatever you want" prizes

ADENDUMB
All the rewards except the t-shirt, since theyre all the same

Spoiler
haxolotols are the glitchlords, the meme-doctors the psychychychics of the universe passing stars masterfully crafted from moondust on galaxy size doom cars turning planets into new things as wished by the cosmic precursor god-king-wizards demanding tribute from their inferiors renting space in their galaxy their galaxy ten triple billion kajillion century-millions of years ago

what do you mean this species was "thrown out torched and banished from this land"

its a good spe

what do you mean breaks rules left and right

it fits in cannon I swear and have this 5,407 page google doc to prove it

SpoilerThere appears to be a small lottery ticket for "Anything You Want" half-stapled to the transcript. Most of it is illegible due to the crazed dabs drawn upon it, but there may be enough to determine if it is a winner or not. >> Scratch the bottom section off?

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