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+--- Thread: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stuff (/showthread.php?tid=51)
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RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Robust Laser - 07-03-2012
Okay, I know I said I would stop, but now I have a serious problem here. You seem to interpret everything absolutely literally. "Can you" can absolutely be a request. Wonderful thing about language. It's malleable. It doesn't have to exclusively mean one thing and one thing only. When I say "Hey, can you help me with something?" I don't necessarily mean "If you are able to, you must help me" I mean "If you are okay with it, then you can help me."
Likewise, when I said I'm "not thinking about being polite" it doesn't mean i'm striving to be rude and completely disregarding the other person. It means that first on my mind is the subject at hand. Asking for help. Which, yes, is not about the other person. How selfish of me.
And no, you haven't specifically called me a dick, but it sure feels like you're trying to imply such a thing. Or trying to make me look like one. I don't give a fuck how important you think the word 'please' is, but I certainly care that you're interpreting my words in such a way that both suits your needs and kind of pisses me off.
Oh and I like how you've got an edit in there basically saying HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STOP THIS ARGUMENT EARLY, I HAVE ISSUE WITH YOUR ENDING OF THIS. No, it doesn't make it immune to scrutiny, but let's go back to the issue of politeness. I wanted to drop it. You didn't.
So could we please just drop this bullshit?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - btp - 07-03-2012
All frustrations aside, I like the core of this conversation. (here I'm interpreting the "bullshit" cyber mentioned as the needless conflict associated with a interesting topic.)
Personally, while I'm not certain I struggle with humility or politeness per se, I do very much struggle with its neighbor encouragement, and in a broader sense "saying things that make people feel good"
Politeness and "please" in particular fall under this category. When the spirit of "please" (I say "spirit of" because I do agree with cyber in that there are many ways to convey the gratitude and appreciation generally contained in the magic word) is absent in a request, it gives the impression that the requestee is in some way inferior to the requester, like a boss speaking to their employee or a customer barking at a cashier. Nobody likes that! Some just tolerate it better than others.
I do think the privilege of the Internet has fostered a sense of entitlement in those who are used to its contet, just like with any privilege or luxury that lasts for long enough. The semi-anonymous nature of the Internet also contributes to this "rudeness". People see names or usernames of individuals, but from an initial association those names are little more than brand names or logos. There absolutely is a learning curve for fully grasping that those names represent real genuine human beings.
I'm still somewhere on that learning curve. I like to think I'm farther along than I was a few years ago, but even now I have realizations that surprise me.
When I ask someone for something, I'll generally try to emphasize that the project is of low importance compared to their daily lives, that they do not need to stress over it, and that I would really appreciate seeing it done. I'll try to complement their previous work, and let them know why I am requesting this from them and not somebody else. (this isn't like a formula, I'm just trying to think about what I tend to do) Of course the degree that I go into varies with the degree of the request.
I'm curious of you guys' other ways of asking for things, or letting people know that you appreciate them. (If they finish, how do you respond in a way that lets them know how impressed/thankful you are? Are there people you've really felt good after you finished something for them? Someone who asked and thanked well?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - ☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ - 07-04-2012
sometimes i ask a question using "may i" but forget to say "please" and then i'm momentarily confused when people ask me to ask more properly. otherwise i have NO OPINION on this topic and am just going to copy the other person so don't expect any more than 3 sentences out of me. (but DO expect me to say "please" to you in the future, sup freq)
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Schazer - 07-04-2012
I've got a fair bit of cultural conditioning that, for the longest while, made me feel straight-up guilty when having to bother another person to ask them for assistance. It's like an actual aversion, and until quite recently I was positively demure around people I didn't know that well, assuming despite all evidence to the contrary that they were exceptionally busy people with no time for me.
As such, my view on the whole debate's a bit screwy; "thanks" is nigh-automatically appended to anything I say. Even answering things like "would you like a bag for your groceries?" ("Nah, thanks though, I've got this one")
I think I prefer "Thanks" to "Yes, please" because of that whiny little "eeeee" in "please". I get the perception there's a fair bit of sarcasm and counter-sarcasm entrenched in the word, too, which leaves me too uncertain whether saying "please" would be misconstrued as some kind of attempt at sarcastic, overtly pandering good manners. I dunno. My head is weird.
More often for requests, I use "would you..." or "could you..." or append whatever I need done with "hey, do you have a minute" or "could I ask a favour?"
I know, grammatically, that last one is still rather flaccid, not to mention I'll get the occasional smartass who's all "you can, but will you" or whatever. I feel it breaks the ice in a similar-ish way though, and it seems to work for me???
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Gnauga - 07-04-2012
I say "Much obliged marm" and then don a ten gallon hat and ride off into the sunset.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Infrared - 07-04-2012
I've always hated snide and entitled people the most. You should never expect people to interpret "implied" messages or intentions between your words, you should try to be as literal as possible. Specially when asking someone to go out of their way for you.
I think i mentioned once in IRC how much i enjoyed receiving polite requests in that other forum when i helped around the mirror site thing. It makes fulfilling the request enjoyable, they make you feel glad you're helping out such a nice person.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Mehgamehn - 07-04-2012
My politeness is as implied as what it is I'm asking
I just go up to people and stare at them until they know exactly what I want and are impressed by my manners
EDIT: I'm now implying that we talk about the Higgs Boson cause the LHC found it under the couch
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - Schazer - 07-04-2012
Strictly speaking, they found its poop and bite marks in the old apple someone had dropped down there.
They're getting close, though!
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - AgentBlue - 07-04-2012
On one hand, jubilance*! We've cracked another layer of mystery and made history! We've peeled back another layer of the universe and proven that it was the right thing to do. We've made textbooks even fuller and more outdated!
On the other hand, a small, sad feeling that another piece of the puzzle is in place. Rigorous theorems have built themselves up to an apex that we see ever-more clearly, and in our hearts we long for the hammer that knocks loose a brick or dislodges a theorem, or even strikes a foundation.
And of course, there's always supercollider proton bowling.
*it's a word now >:3
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - g0m - 07-04-2012
I didn't look into it because reading is for nerds. As I understand based on headlines, the existence of God has been proven and journalism is a sham
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - AgentBlue - 07-04-2012
Ooooh look, a mexican hat potential!
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stabs - btp - 07-04-2012
Man, stuff like this really shows how lacking my knowledge of physics is. I try to read through news articles about it and understand it but really it's like trying to skip to the end of a book and understand what is happening without knowing anything about the other characters or why they're important or why the resolution or conflict was there in the first place. As much as I respect physics, I have continually been baffled by it. Maybe it's time to go back to the part of the book I left off last, see what the deal is.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Infrared - 07-05-2012
![[Image: 5i3ge.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/5i3ge.jpg)
What is the deal with this guy?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Granolaman - 07-05-2012
Aw man, I loved Space Jam!
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - waterbottles - 07-05-2012
Are we going to green egg and ham this?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Mehgamehn - 07-05-2012
(07-05-2012, 04:12 PM)waterbottles Wrote: »Are we going to green egg and slam this?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - MaxieSatan - 07-05-2012
Wait, where does Grand Slam Breakfast: Dr. Seuss addition come into this.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - btp - 07-05-2012
B-B-BB-BBALL
MUSCLES
WINNING SMILE
BLACKATTACK
THREEPOINTSTUFFEDGOALBASKETSHUTDOWN
KAZAM!
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Woffles - 07-05-2012
WOULD YOU LIKE THEM WITH THE BEST?
WOULD YOU LIKE THEM WITH THE REST?
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Mehgamehn - 07-05-2012
Oh hello ten years ago what are you doing here
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Schazer - 07-05-2012
That is pure electricity
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - MaxieSatan - 07-05-2012
ten
ten years ago? but
it's so nineties.
it's so nineties
I'm only seventeen WHY DO I FEEL SO OLD
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - btp - 07-06-2012
okay I want a list of every single song that has both of the words "slam" and "jam" in the chorus.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Granolaman - 07-06-2012
So much Jam.
RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about Shaq - Woffles - 07-06-2012
This was essentially inevitable